23.8.98

Episode 13B

Star Trek: Pheonix-X 
Retieval

*Daniel: Captain's log, supplemental. We've just left the Carthaginain Central Command Centre, a large non-moving comet they live on that has total control over the ion storm, after transporting the Carthaginian crew over. They've cleared a "normal space" pathway for the Pheonix-X, leading out of the ion storm, and improved our shields and our impulse engines by 200%, making us able to almost reach a Warp 1 speed!! Since we're in their territory, I've adhered to their demands not to use Transwarp; but that's no problem now, thanks to the upgrade. As a gift to saving their lives, they've given us what seems to be a Changeling...

(On the Pheonix-X, the Captain enters Sickbay)
Lox: So I says to her, I says--
Gotens: Captain, we were just about to call you.
Daniel: Have you opened the jar with the Changeling inside?
Gotens(tries twisting it open): Arrghh--the lid--is--stuck-- Does anyone have a rubber glove or something?
Daniel(snatches the jar away from him): Give me that!
(Daniel opens the jar and a goo of changeling speews out onto the floor. The changeling goo transforms into a humanoid figure. The humanoid changeling forms a face, limbs and grows hair)
Gotens: Kinda like a chia pet.
Daniel: Computer, erect a level 1 force field around the Changeling.
(A force field goes around Daniel)
Daniel: No, the other Changeling.
(The force field deactivates around him and goes around the other changeling figure)
Lox: The Changeling's protoplasum does not seem to be infected with that disease. So it's okay to link, I think.
Daniel(walks over): Who are you?
Lox: I'm the Doctor.
Daniel: Not you. I'm talking to the Changeling.
Lox: Oh.
Shane: I am Shane, son of Sergio.
Gotens: Sergio? Aaaaahhhahahahahahahahahahaaa!!! ........Go on.
Daniel: How can you be the son of anyone? You're a Changeling.
Shane: I was found and raised by Klingons, you know how it is. Where am I?
Daniel: Allow me to introduce myself. I am Captain Daniel of the Federation starship Pheonix-X.
Shane: You? A Captain? Aaaahahahahahahahahahahahahaa!!! .......Go on.
Daniel: You were beamed off the Hou-Ling before it was destroyed. The aliens that destroyed you then gave you to us...in a jar.
Shane: I hate jars. Now jugs, jugs are nice.
Gotens: So what's your story, Sergio? Why were you on a Klingon ship?
Shane: Well it all started a long time ago... I was a young lad, full of hope and joy--
Gotens: No, no. On second thought, don't tell us.
Shane: Basically, I was found and raised by Klingons. Didn't I already tell you that?
Gotens: Yes... I think.
Shane: I lived on the Hou-Ling for so long, I can't believe it's destroyed... everyone dead...
Daniel: I did some checking up on the Hou-Ling, it seems that Captain Sergio was on Risa when his ship got sucked into the Transwarp conduit and destroyed.
Gotens: Why does that name sound so familiar....?
Shane: He's alive!? Oh thank the Changelings! He's my mentor, you know.
Gotens: Oh yeah.
Daniel: We sent a communication to him, he should be on his way to meet us at the end of this ion storm.
Shane: Thank you Captain, I will not forget the deed you have done for me.
Daniel: That's good.
Shane: Could you write it down on a pad so I don't forget?
Daniel: Uhh...no. Doctor, release the force field.
(The force field deactivates)
Daniel: This changeling is no harm to us.
Shane(raises his arms in gratitude, hitting Gotens in the face): Thank you!!....sorry.
(The two Changelings walk out of the room, talking)
Lox: Anyways. So I says to her, I says...

(The Pheonix-X treks through the normal space tunnel within the ion storm)
*Gotens: Fisrt Officers log, stardate 52656.12. It's been a while since I've recorded a ship's log, so I'll keep this shor--

(The Pheonix-X continues to trek through the normal space tunnel within the ion storm, the next day)
*Gotens: First Officers log, stardate 52656.13. I accidentally preset my log time too short, yesterday, so I made it extra longer today. I......I...I have to go to the sonic-washroom. Be right back!!.........Aaahhhh!!....Aaahhhh...
(15 minutes later)
*Gotens: Okay, where was I? Oh yeah. I--
(The log cuts out)

(On the Bridge of the ship)
Gotens(inserts another quarter and speaks clearly): First Officers log, supplimental.

(The ship does its trekking thing)
*Gotens: A lot of weird stuff has been goin' on during these past weeks. I've noticed that Shane and the Captain have been bonding a lot. That 's great because I've been doing a little bonding myself. There's this really hot girl from Astrometrics. Her name is Jineen and she has the biggest--
*BOB(voice in the background): Uhh, Commander?
*Gotens: Oh, right, right. It's obvious to the crew that the Captain would trust his life with Shane and so would Shane to the Captain. Which brings me to my next point, will the Changeling want to go back be under command of the klingon Captain Sergio? Which brings me to my next point, if our uniforms are black and grey, I don't think our underwear should be pink and brown--
*BOB: Ahem, Commander, the ships logs aren't supposed to be of personal nature. And our uniforms don't have any br--
*Gotens: Oh, right, right. After 3 weeks of surfing the ion storm, we'll finally be leaving it in an hour. When we finally return to the vastness of space, we'll be rondezvousing with the Lou-Tzu, a klingon flag ship. Captain Sergio is promised to be on it to pick up the Changeling Shane. Shane is going to be so happy when he hears the good news!

(On the Pheonix-X, in the Gym)
Shane: What's this?
Ensign Dan(hands him a book): It's the good news, a new Bajoran Bible--
Shane: Get this away from me! You're relieved!
(Ensign Dan walks away. Captain Daniel enters the room)
Daniel(singing): "Hit me baby one more time..." Oh, hey. Your mentor is almost here. So I guess you'll be leaving now.
Shane: Sergio? I'm having fun here, I don't wanna go back.

(Later, on the Bridge)
*Sergio(on screen): What!?!?!!
Shane: I asked, how is your hearing lately?
*Sergio(fixes his hearing aid): Fine, fine.
Daniel: Hi, I'm the Captain--
*Sergio: No one cares who you are!!
Shane: Captain, this is my new friend, Captain Daniel. He's a changeling too. And you know how hard Changelings come by these days.
Ensign Dan: Actually, they come squishy and jellowe.
Gotens: Shut up, you're relieved. We've just left the ion storm and we're ready to transport Shane.
Shane: I don't want to go back. I'm staying.
*Sergio: You're staying!? Why!? I've been your father since we found you afloat, for fifteen years already!
Daniel: He's a Changeling, he's old enough to make his own decisions.
*Sergio: I can't have it! You're my son, and I love you.
*Mesach: Uhh, sir? You are a Klingon.
*Sergio: Oh yeah. I mean--You're my son, and I'll kill you if you don't come back.
Ensign Dan: Are you guys finished yet? I wanna press the transport button.
Shane: But father--
Ensign Dan: Can I be un-relieved?
Daniel: Captain, if you could listen to our side--
(The turbolift doors swoosh open)
Jineen(enters the bridge): Hey.
Gotens: Hey baby.
Daniel: Commander, this is not the time. I'm helping a friend.
Jineen: I just came to say that I'm hooking up with Lieutenant GoyCho instead of you.
Gotens: What!? The Bolian!?
Jineen: Yeah. His fatness is attractive.
Shane: I'm staying, and that's that!!
*Sergio: I am your father!!
Shane: Not my biological father! You're a klingon!
Ensign Dan: If you want to transport, I'm gonna need to be put back on duty.
(Jineen heads for the doors)
Gotens: Hey, where are you going?
*Sergio: Arrghh.
Daniel: Captain, calm down.
(Everyone starts arguing simultaneously)
Daniel: ...If there was only a way to resolve these problems...

(On Holodeck 3...)
Jerry Springzer: Hello, and welcome to the Jerry Springzer show. Today we have 7 guests. Say hello to Sergio, Daniel, Shane, Gotens, Jineen, GoyCho and Ensign Dan.
(The 7 guests say hello)
Jerry Springzer: I wasn't talking to you.
(They all shut up)
Jerry Springzer: Now Shane, why won't you tell us about your problem.
Shane: Well, Jerry, I've become good friends with the Daniel Changeling and the Pheonix-X crew, and since my ship is destroyed, I want to stay here. But my father doesn't think so.
Jerry Springzer: What? That's more of an Ophar Winfro show.
TheCrowd: Boooooo!! Hiiss!! Booo!!
Sergio: That's all because of this Changeling, Daniel's brainwashing! You stupid--@$^%$#&%#@*!!!
Daniel: Hey, it's not my fault you're a #%^%#&*@!$%^(*){!!!
(Sergio and Daniel get up and fight. The guards break them apart)
TheCrowd: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Jerry Springzer: Alright, alright. Let's visit the Commander.
Gotens: Well, Jerry, Jineen's been cheating on me with another alien.
Jineen(glances at him): I'm sorry, tough luck.
GoyCho: Yeah, so you can just $%$#^*$@@^*(*%!!!
Gotens: #%@!%^amp;%*$#!!!
(GoyCho and Gotens get up and fight until the guards break them up)
TheCrowd: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
GoyCho(turns to the girl): Jineen, I'm sorry, but I've been sleeping with BOBELENE.
Jineen: What!?
BOB(in the crowd, he stands): What!?
TheCrowd: Woooo!!!! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
(BOBELENE walks out and Jineen attacks her. The guards break them apart)
Jerry Springzer: Calm down, calm down. Now, Ensign Dan why won't you tell us why you're here.
Ensign Dan(relaxes in his chair): Well, Jerry--
Jerry Springzer: You may call me Mr. Springzer.
Ensign Dan: What!? But everyone else got to call you--
Jerry Springzer: #@%&^%$*@#!!
Ensign Dan: Okay, okay. Jeez, you'd think we'd get into a fight or something.
(The guards come up, beat up Ensign Dan, and return to their posts)
Ensign Dan: Ugh...well, my problem is, everyone's been relieving me--
Gotens: What? That's your poor excuse for a problem? You're relieved.
Ensign Dan: Argh! This is the fourth time this episode.
Shane: Hello? What about my problem? I want to stay on the ship.

(Meanwhile, on the bridge of the Pheonix-X...)
Tong: It's a quarter the size of our ship!
Armond: What is it?
Tong: A large, I'd say biological, but I don't read any internal organs, space creatre. Actually, it looks like a fish. Awww, so cute.
Armond: On scre--
Tong: It's gone. But now I'm detecting something crawling on the hull of the klingon ship.
(Tong continues to read sensors)
Tong: It's gone too.

(On the Bridge of the Lou-Tzu)
Commander Covek: Ha! Ha! So the patok says to me, he says--
(A large amount of goo pours onto the floor, from an air vent, right in front of the Commander. The liquid shapeshifts into a humaniod figure)
Covek: By the Changelings...it's a Changeling.
(The Changeling stands 7"10. He walks forward, hits his head on a pipe, as he approaches Covek)
TheChangeling: I have come for the one called Sergio. He must return to the link.
Helmsmen Mesach(grabs a weapon): You're not getting your filthy hands on him without going through me!!
TheChangeling(shapeshifts his arm into a large spike and stabs Mesach): As you wish.
Mesach(colapses to the floor): ....Uuuuhhh...
(The Changeling leaps into the air duct)
Covek(turns to his friend): Anyways. So the patok says to me, he says...

(On the Pheonix-X, in Holodeck 3)
Shane: What will it be?
Sergio(pauses): ...I guess I will need to think it over.
Ensign Dan: Uhhh, what about my problem? Who's more important here?
Jerry Springzer: Yeah, yeah, cry, cry. We'll be back after these messages with the conclusion of this episode.

(On the Lou-Tzu; in the air duct)
(The Changeling changes into a spider and crawls through the duct. It later appears in the back of a Klingon that is accessing a computer console. It shifts into Xena and screams her scream.)
Changeling Xena: This is for Gabriel!
Klingon: What?
(The Klingon turns around surprised and confused. Xena takes her sword and stabs the Klingon with it. Xena then accesses the computer console.)
Changeling Xena: Well well well, it seems that the changeling is on another ship. Hmmm...
(The Changeling reads on about what has happened through the logs.)

(On Holodeck 3 in the Phoenix-X)
Jerry: Now we are back. If you are now joining us, we are with seven guests who all seem to have problems.
(Jerry looks at Shane)
Jerry: So Shane, why do you really want to stay on the Phoenix-X?
Shane: I told you why. Besides, I feel that I belong here. I have friends and a fellow Changeling.
(Shane looks to Sergio)
Shane: And you are my friend father. But you need to realize that I'm a individual and I can't always stay with you. There will be that time where you need to let me go. And this is the time.
Sergio (looks at his son, and to the ground thinking): Well son, I guess there is only one way. The Klingon way.
Jerry: Well, we will go continue the rest of the show right after this.
Crowd: Claps.

(Meanwhile on the Lao-Tzu)
Changeling Xena: Computer respond.
(Computer doesn't respond. She tries again but fails. She manipulates her voice to the Klingon she killed.)
Changeling Xena: Computer respond.
Computer: **computer acknowledgement sound**
Changeling Xena: Site to Site transport to the Phoenix-X.
(She gets transported to the Phoenix-X)

(On the Phoenix-X; Holodeck 3)
Jerry: Thank you for joining us again. Let's get back to this.
Sergio: Yeah! Like i said, we will do this the Klingon way. If you want your freedom, you fight me for it.
Shane: But father, I can't do that.
Sergio: You must!
Crowd: Jerry Jerry Jerry!
Shane: Okay then.
(They get up and get in fighting position in front of everyone)
Sergio: We need weapons. Computer, Battlith.
(A Battlith appears in his hands.)
Shane: I'm sorry father.
(Sergio yells and charges to Shane. Shane shifts into an open doorway. Sergio goes through. Shane shifts back into solid. Sergio turns around and takes his blade and throws it at Shane, it stabs him, but he reflects it back and misses. Then Sergio charges back. Shane shifts into a whip and trips Sergio.
Sergio is on the ground and Shane splashes himself on Sergio and shifts into serpent around Sergio, squeezing him with the face of his solid form looking Sergio straight in the eyes.)
Shane: I won.
Sergio: I guess you have. Goodbye son.
(Shane lets go and shifts back into solid form)
Daniel: Whoa, that was something.
Gotens: The crowd is quiet. Like they haven't seen a shapeshifter.
Sergio: Lao-Tzu, Sergio here. Let's go. I will see you in due time son.
Shane: Bye.
(Jerry comes down the stage clapping)
Jerry: Bravo Bravo. I knew you had it in you.....Shane is it?
(Everyone looks at Jerry)
Shane: Yes.
Jerry: Looks like the whole family is here.
Daniel: What do you mean?
(Jerry shifts into the mysterious changeling)
Crowd: Huh!
Daniel: You are a changeling too!
Shane: What he said.
Daniel: Computer, end program.
(Program ends)