"Lost Aquarius: Liquids Everywhere"
(On the Phoenix-X, in Holodeck 3, Sergio, Shane, Daniel, Gotens, Ensign Dan and a few other crew stand there, looking at the tall Changeling)
Ensign Dan: Whoa, another changeling! That is so cool. Kill it, kill it!
(All the other extra crew members take out their phasers and aim it at the tall Changeling)
Daniel: Wait! Who are you?
Tall Changeling: I am the link and I have come for you.
(He points at Shane)
Shane: Me?
Tall Changeling: No, him.
(Captain Sergio is standing behind Shane)
Sergio: Oh! Would you look at the hour of Kahless? I simply must be going. Heh, heh— Sergio to Lou-Tzu, what is taking you so long? Beam me through!
(He begins to beam out but, suddenly, the tall Changeling shoots out a long liquid arm and hits Sergio in the shoulder. Sergio's shoulder begins to liquify, then his arm)
#Covek: Uh, sir. I cannot get a proper lock on you?
#Covek: Uh, sir. I cannot get a proper lock on you?
Ensign Dan (points): Ahh! Another Changeling?? Kill it, kill it!
Daniel: Sergio, you're a Changeling too?
(Sergio steps back to release himself from the tall Changeling's grasp who then brings his liquid arm back)
Sergio (lowers head): Aye.
Gotens: But, then why do you wear a defective hearing aid?
Sergio: I'm sorry, what did you say?
Gotens: Never mind.
Ensign Dan: If you're taking Sergio back to the Link, then why don't you take Captain Daniel with you?
Tall Changeling (shrugs): Eh, he doesn't have the proper membership card.
Daniel: What!? I can go back to the link whenever I want! But right now, they have a morphogenic virus. Oh, and they're at war with the Federation, actively killing us all— Wait. Shouldn't you have the virus, too, as well as shared blame for the Dominion War?
Daniel: Sergio, you're a Changeling too?
(Sergio steps back to release himself from the tall Changeling's grasp who then brings his liquid arm back)
Sergio (lowers head): Aye.
Gotens: But, then why do you wear a defective hearing aid?
Sergio: I'm sorry, what did you say?
Gotens: Never mind.
Ensign Dan: If you're taking Sergio back to the Link, then why don't you take Captain Daniel with you?
Tall Changeling (shrugs): Eh, he doesn't have the proper membership card.
Daniel: What!? I can go back to the link whenever I want! But right now, they have a morphogenic virus. Oh, and they're at war with the Federation, actively killing us all— Wait. Shouldn't you have the virus, too, as well as shared blame for the Dominion War?
Tall Changeling: What are you talking about? Are you just riding the coattails of some excellent writers??
(The tall Changeling turns to Sergio)
Tall Changeling: Link with us, now!!
(Captain Sergio ducks behind Daniel)
(The tall Changeling turns to Sergio)
Tall Changeling: Link with us, now!!
(Captain Sergio ducks behind Daniel)
Sergio: No. Go away!
(The tall Changeling shoots out his liquid arm again and accidentally hits Daniel)
Daniel (pushes out): Ew! Don't do that!
Sergio: You see, Captain Daniel?
(He then ducks behind Shane. The tall Changeling shoots his arm and accidentally hits Shane)
Shane (pushes out): Ha! That tickled.
(The tall Changeling shoots out his liquid arm again and accidentally hits Daniel)
Daniel (pushes out): Ew! Don't do that!
Sergio: You see, Captain Daniel?
(He then ducks behind Shane. The tall Changeling shoots his arm and accidentally hits Shane)
Shane (pushes out): Ha! That tickled.
(The Klingon Changeling then ducks behind Gotens)
Sergio: I was departed by the Link.
Gotens (jumps away): Whoa, whoa! I'm not into whatever you goo people are all about.
Daniel: Yeah, yeah, and now they want you back. Just like Odo. Old story, different episode.
Tall Changeling/Sergio/Shane: Who's Odo?
Gotens: Oh my gosh! Don't you guys watch Deep Space 9? The logs they send out, I mean.
Tall Changeling: Sergio! If you do not come, I will kill you!
Daniel: A Changeling has never harmed another.
Tall Changeling: But it can be done. How about this? If you do not rejoin the Link, then I will kill every solid in this room!
Ensign Dan: Escalation is suuuuuch a try-hard.
(The tall Changeling looks around at the other solids on the Holodeck: Goycho, Jineen, Gotens, Ensign Dan, BOB, BOBELENE)
Tall Changeling: Eww! A naked female Ferengi?
BOBELENE: Harumph!
Daniel: Everyone, set your phasers on stun and fire at him!
(They fire at the tall Changeling. There's no effect)
Daniel: What? Those phasers are strong enough to even knock me out. Set to vaporize!
(They fire again and still no effect on the tall Changeling. A blob of goo then spits out of the tall Changeling, onto the floor. Another blob of goo spits out from the other side of the tall Changeling, onto the floor. Five more blobs of goo spit out. The seven extra blobs of goo transform into separate Changelings)
Ensgin Dan: Aaahhh! More changelings??? Kill them!! Kill them!!
(A Changeling apprehends GoyCho. Another apprehends Jineen. A Changeling each grabs BOB, BOBELENE, Ensign Dan and Gotens)
Tall Changeling: All I have to do is give the command.
Daniel: Wait a minute. You all travel in one body?
Shane: Got to admit, it saves space.
Sergio: Hah! Do I care about these people?
Tall Changeling: If you do not return to the Link, then I will be forced to take one of these young Changelings for where I have no idea they came from.
(Daniel and Shane look at each other, confused)
Sergio: Alright! Alright! I will return. I have been gone for a couple centuries anyway and, with my adopted son growing up, I feel like I have accomplished some good for once.
(He finally liquifies and goes into the tall Changeling)
Gotens: That's got to be bad for hygiene in some way?
(The other seven Changelings also liquify and return to the one tall Changeling. Daniel and Shane glance at each other)
Tall Changeling: We apologize for any inconvenience.
Ensign Dan: Don't worry about it. We all make death threats at least once in our life times.
Gotens: You did it like ten times today.
Tall Changeling: I wasn't talking to you solids! As for Daniel and Shane, we do not know where you two come from, and we do not wish to have you join the Link at this time. But we wish you two luck on your journey through space. Who knows, maybe you both will end up being gay, or soul mates, just like Xena and Gabrielle. We love those two.
Daniel: So, when you said Link, you meant you are your own Link. You're not even aware of the Founders?
Shane: You're some kind of Traveling Link.
(The tall Changeling turns around and heads for the doors)
Tall Changeling: We'll see you two again.
(The Traveling Link liquefies into the wall and emerges outside the Phoenix-X. It detaches from the hull and shapeshifts into a space creature before flying away. The Lou-Tzu also departs.)
Sergio: I was departed by the Link.
Gotens (jumps away): Whoa, whoa! I'm not into whatever you goo people are all about.
Daniel: Yeah, yeah, and now they want you back. Just like Odo. Old story, different episode.
Tall Changeling/Sergio/Shane: Who's Odo?
Gotens: Oh my gosh! Don't you guys watch Deep Space 9? The logs they send out, I mean.
Tall Changeling: Sergio! If you do not come, I will kill you!
Daniel: A Changeling has never harmed another.
Tall Changeling: But it can be done. How about this? If you do not rejoin the Link, then I will kill every solid in this room!
Ensign Dan: Escalation is suuuuuch a try-hard.
(The tall Changeling looks around at the other solids on the Holodeck: Goycho, Jineen, Gotens, Ensign Dan, BOB, BOBELENE)
Tall Changeling: Eww! A naked female Ferengi?
BOBELENE: Harumph!
Daniel: Everyone, set your phasers on stun and fire at him!
(They fire at the tall Changeling. There's no effect)
Daniel: What? Those phasers are strong enough to even knock me out. Set to vaporize!
(They fire again and still no effect on the tall Changeling. A blob of goo then spits out of the tall Changeling, onto the floor. Another blob of goo spits out from the other side of the tall Changeling, onto the floor. Five more blobs of goo spit out. The seven extra blobs of goo transform into separate Changelings)
Ensgin Dan: Aaahhh! More changelings??? Kill them!! Kill them!!
(A Changeling apprehends GoyCho. Another apprehends Jineen. A Changeling each grabs BOB, BOBELENE, Ensign Dan and Gotens)
Tall Changeling: All I have to do is give the command.
Daniel: Wait a minute. You all travel in one body?
Shane: Got to admit, it saves space.
Sergio: Hah! Do I care about these people?
Tall Changeling: If you do not return to the Link, then I will be forced to take one of these young Changelings for where I have no idea they came from.
(Daniel and Shane look at each other, confused)
Sergio: Alright! Alright! I will return. I have been gone for a couple centuries anyway and, with my adopted son growing up, I feel like I have accomplished some good for once.
(He finally liquifies and goes into the tall Changeling)
Gotens: That's got to be bad for hygiene in some way?
(The other seven Changelings also liquify and return to the one tall Changeling. Daniel and Shane glance at each other)
Tall Changeling: We apologize for any inconvenience.
Ensign Dan: Don't worry about it. We all make death threats at least once in our life times.
Gotens: You did it like ten times today.
Tall Changeling: I wasn't talking to you solids! As for Daniel and Shane, we do not know where you two come from, and we do not wish to have you join the Link at this time. But we wish you two luck on your journey through space. Who knows, maybe you both will end up being gay, or soul mates, just like Xena and Gabrielle. We love those two.
Daniel: So, when you said Link, you meant you are your own Link. You're not even aware of the Founders?
Shane: You're some kind of Traveling Link.
(The tall Changeling turns around and heads for the doors)
Tall Changeling: We'll see you two again.
(The Traveling Link liquefies into the wall and emerges outside the Phoenix-X. It detaches from the hull and shapeshifts into a space creature before flying away. The Lou-Tzu also departs.)
(The Phoenix-X jumps to transwarp as Shane meets Daniel in his Ready Room)
Daniel: Must've been a shock to see your father wasn't who he said he was.
Shane: It explains why he took care of me all these years. But I don't think it takes away from the man he was and, if anything, reinforces it.
Daniel: If you're sticking around, we'll have some work for you. If you're into that sort of thing.
Shane: There's something new to learn for me here, so count me in. I mean, as long as I can keep being myself.
(Later, Ensign Dan lies on a couch in the Counselor's office)
Ensign Dan: And that's the whole story, Counselor. I swear if I see another Changeling again, I'm gonna relieve myself of duty.
Lucricia: Well, Ensign Dan, it seems you have acute changelingvitus.
Ensign Dan: Is it bad?
Lucricia: I wouldn't go outside for a while.
Ensign Dan: Well, what should I do?
Lucricia: From now on, whenever you see a Changeling, you must cluck like a chicken.
Ensign Dan: Really? That works?
Lucricia: Aahhhahahahahaa!
(The Counselor suddenly liquifies and reshapeshifts into Shane)
Shane: Aahahahaa! You solids kill me!
Ensign Dan: What the—? No, not again??
Shane (stands): Hahaha! Computer, end program.
(The room turns into the empty Holodeck)
Shane (exits): Haha! Also, these photons and forcefields are like the changelings of rooms.
Ensign Dan: Oh, my gosh. How did I get here? Arrgghh!! How???
