30.3.17

Annual 1-3

Unofficial Literary Challenge Annual #3: Enmity

The Pathfinder-class with Discovery-class pylons U.S.S. Ragnarok dropped warp in orbit of the First Federation planet, Carpi. There, they stood between the planet and the Tzenkethi Rhas'bej battleship Cortisgor which presented itself as a threat the people below.

"Tzenkethi vessel, you are in violation of this airspace. Well, I suppose there's no air, so, spacespace," hailed Captain Seifer. "Please disengage your weapons and put your many arms up. How many do you have, like, four? Man, that's a lot of arms."

Suddenly, the viewscreen clicked on to a display of the Cortisgor's commanding officer. "This is Captain Gogard of the Cortisgor. You have no jurisdiction here, nor is your science vessel any match for us. In fact, science vessels aren't a match for anyone but other science vessels."

"What? Science is the whole reason we're out here! We also have shield weakening beams and such. Oh, you're going to get such a debuff, you don't even know," threatened Seifer. "And I thought you guys were supposed to be slender and good-looking and filled with fluid sacs?" And then, he pondered out-loud, "What of the sacs?"

Gogard ruptured in anger. "You dare bring up that troublesome reality where the Tzenkethi were part of something called the Typhon Pact and your precious Deep Space 9 is replaced by a metal monstrosity of complete uglyness!?" He turned to his crew. "Ready the tricobalt torpedoes!"

"Hold on a second!" came the sudden warning of another Seifer, who walked onto the Bridge of the Ragnarok and interrupted the two men. "I'm the you from two days from now. When he fires his tricobalt torpedoes, you fire your quantum torpedoes and accidentally destroy his ship!"

The other man recoiled in disgust. "What is this trickery? My ship is sufficiently—" But he interrupted himself when he noticed his shields weren't up. "Ohhh, yes. The most important thing of battle. Sometimes we Tzenkethi are quite silly, though we don't look it."

"Okay, that's weird," the Seifer of the present said, eyeing his doppelganger. "I'll dissect you later. In the meantime— Aramaki, now fire the quantum torpedoes!"

"Wait a moment!" came the sudden cry of a duplicate Gogard, walking onto the Bridge of the Cortisgor. "I'm the Captain Gogard of three days from now, and when you fire your tricobalt torpedoes in response, one of them explodes in our torpedo bay and blows our ship to pieces!"

The present day Gogard looked at his identical self. "What?? I'd kill you if I wasn't so irritated right now! Also, I still have that mole, huh?"

"Everyone stop!" came the call of a third Seifer, stepping onto the Bridge of the Ragnarok. "I'm from four days in the future, and all this confusion ends up frustrating the Seifer of the present enough to initiate a self-destruct sequence that takes out both ships and punctures the planetary atmosphere below!"

Present day Seifer crossed his arms. "I was only mulling that over. And how do we keep coming here from the future? It's like a paradox-nightmare hopped up on ketracel white."

"It is I, Marhs, from five days in the future," came the answer from a short, First Federation diplomat, walking onto the Bridge of the Cortisgor with another Gogard in hand. "You've known that our technology pales in comparison with your pathetic 'Federation', if that's what you insist on continuing to call it, and I chose to test our time-travelling device in order to prevent the cataclysmic destruction about to happen here today."

"Everybody stop!!" came the heightened warning from another Marhs, stepping onto the Bridge of the Ragnarok. "I'm Marhs from six days in the future and my usage of so many temporal doors causes the space-time destruction of both ships, the planet, and the entire solar system! I suppose being the 'First' has its caveats after all."

Two days from now Seifer looked at him, annoyed. "Then, why would you still come here? Never mind." Then he addressed Gogard, "You know what? Why don't we end this peacefully, not fire at each other, and just both of us get out of here before it's too late?"

"Hey! I'm the Captain here!" Present day Seifer argued. "But, yeah, what I said."

The Gogard on the Bridge nodded. "To end this madness; anything. But what about all these duplicates of us? Surely we must kill them with our murderous appetites?"

"My First Federation tricorder can reintegrate all our duplicates into us, so that we become some kind of space-time Frankenstien's monster versions of ourselves," explained Marhs, as he held the device up. "It's quite painful."

One of the Gogards nodded, on screen. "Make it so."

"Hey! Aliens don't get to say that!" argued Seifer just as the device was activated, causing the duplicate versions of everyone to stretch and be torn apart until sucked into their present-day counterparts— "AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!"

Seifer, Gogard, and Marhs screamed in utter agony of it all until the process was complete. They each patted themselves in check to ensure nothing was physically out of place.

"I'm good," Seifer said, finally able to relax from all the stress. "Captain Gogard?"

To everyone's dismay, Captain Gogard was suddenly an alternate universe form of Tzenkethi: Slender, gentle, and gel-like. He looked nothing like the lizard form the rest of his race were. "How did this happen!?"

"Damn," Marhs said, slapping his device. "Had this thing set to Destiny timeline. Don't ask what that means. Well, I've got to go. My voice-over guy is about to go on lunch. Oh, did I mention, someone voices each of us over? It's a long and arduous, pre-practiced process, but it's our way. First Federation out!"

Everyone watched as Marhs, instead of beaming anywhere, then began slowly walking around the Bridge, looking around, as if on tour of the Ragnarok.

"Yeah, it's clear we each have our own problems," Seifer said to Gogard, indicating the roaming Marhs. "Too many Federations are the real paradox here. Ragnarok for-real out."

---

When the screen cut off on the Bridge of the Cortisgor, a new, gentle and angelic Gogard with fluid sacs turned to his crew. "As soon as I'm back to normal, that Captain Seifer is going to pay for this!"

"Sir, your head is drooping over," warned his tactical officer.

Gogard placed his hands and readjusted himself. "Dammit! Take us out of here! And stop looking at the unidentified parts of my body! Ugh! What even is this thing hanging here? Dammit!"

The Cortisgor left orbit and jumped to warp.