Star Trek: Phoenix-X
"Homespun Remake, Part I"
The Nor-class Cardassian fascist space station Deep Space 9 rotated peacefully within the confines of the Denorios belt of the Bajoran system until the gaping maw of the Bajoran wormhole splayed open and spewed out the Prometheus-class U.S.S. Phoenix-X. Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax, at her station in Operations, almost threw up in her mouth.
"Ugh!" she reacted before recomposing herself to a perplexed Kira Nerys. "Yeah, I don't know why I did that. It's nothing, Major."
Kira gave her a look. "A ship is approaching, isn't it?"
"The Phoenix-X is coming through the wormhole," Dax reported. "I still don't understand that vessel, so I didn't want to say anything."
The Major held up a hand. "No, I get it. Apparently, they ran through a multitude of exploding Phoenix-ships trying to perfect transwarp. I'll just say, Starfleet can be a little obsessive at times."
"Well, we keep launching Enterprises, so I can't argue with you there," Dax smirked before reading a forwarded message to her console. "They want to dock. They need repairs."
Kira sighed. "Why are ships always getting into trouble? Is it the war or just a trope? Let them in."
---
Meanwhile, the staff on the Bridge of the Phoenix-X got ready. Captain Daniel looked to everyone as they were busy.
"Well, it looks like we're going to be here for a little while," he conceded. "I want all personnel to keep working, unless you're off shift. Then you can explore Deep Space 9 in what some people consider a crossover but, really, is just normal in-universe functioning."
Commander Night Gotens squinted. "Why would you phrase it like that?"
"Well, Captain, Commander," approached Captain Aeris. "It was a pleasure going for a ride but, I must say, my gaggle of engineers and I are eager to get back to our own ship. The last thing they saw was the Phoenix-X inexplicably transwarping to the Gamma Quadrant."
Gotens perked. "I wonder what we look like going to transwarp? It must be a spectacular space-time transition effect."
"Hm. Well, we did get the shuttle Roche back before we left, so we should set it up to take something I'm calling a selfie," Daniel suggested. "In the meantime, have Kayl prepare our subspace social media posts."
---
Later, Gotens and the Ferengi BOB went together aboard Deep Space 9 and entered Quark's Bar. There, the Ferengi owner, busy cleaning a glass, took notice of them.
"You again!" Quark spouted at BOB. "Ohhh, no. If you're not here to gamble, drink or rent a holosuite, then get out of my face."
BOB held up his hands. "I know I came on a little strong before when I was job hunting, and I may have been a little too flirty with the dabo girls as a result of your rejection. But I'm not here for that anymore."
"He slept with the entire staff," Quark explained to Gotens. "All at once! What kind of beguiler uses his abnormal powers of persuasion for non-latinum-related pursuits? Not that I wouldn't have done the same at someone else's bar."
Gotens tilted, confused. "Beguiler?"
"It's just a thing and stuff," BOB dismissed. "The point is, I'm sorry. I just want to gamble. You know how it's the Ferengi version of relaxing at the beach." He shrugged. "Besides, I'm quite comfy being where I am now."
Quark scoffed. "Oh, really? What did you do, join a Starfleet ship?"
"No! I joined a Starfleet ship," BOB protested before he realized that Quark just said that. "Oh, wait. That's a yes. I mean, it's still up in the air whether they'll let me back on board after this stop, and I respect them enough not to use my powers on them, but you get the idea."
Both Quark and Gotens watched BOB walk off to the dabo tables. "I can't help but feel partially responsible for his downtroddenness," Gotens observed before Quark rolled his eyes and went off to another patron.
"Commander, I thought you'd be on the Phoenix-X, preparing selfie protocols with Kayl?" opened Aeris as she entered Quark's and joined him at the bar.
Gotens shrugged. "She's got it. Besides, you know me. Whenever I can get an authentic Blood Vesper without the pulp, I'm there." Quark passed him a red liquid in a martini glass. "And, don't worry about me staying alert. Armond's got our backs."
"That Armond. I could teach him a thing or two," Aeris gritted, looking away in distraction. "I mean, haven't you heard the Romulans declared war on the Dominion? It was this whole papery moony thing and all. Amazing stuff!"
The Commander did a double-take. "Wow. I had no idea. I'll have to check the Starfleet streaming site for log playbacks. Hopefully, nothing was deleted."
"Anyway, I have to go meet Captain Sisko. I still need to reach my ship," she said getting up. "Take care of yourself, Commander. No freak incidents."
But, after she left, Gotens was suddenly hit with an inexplicable, striking pain in his stomach, "Ugh! Oh, no. I wasn't supposed to have any incidents!" He then fainted to unconsciousness before a perplexed Morn caught him.
---
Meanwhile, an unawares Aeris bumped into Daniel in front of Sisko's office doors in Operations.
Benjamin Sisko stepped out to them. "Hello, Captain," he greeted to Aeris. "Captain," he then said to Daniel.
"I'm sorry, Captain," replied Daniel. "But I believe I Captainly got here before this Captain."
Aeris quickly rebutted, "Captain! I was here before this Captain."
"You took too long," Daniel invalidated. "This Captain is Captaining error like no Captain has Captained before."
Sisko rolled his eyes. "Captains! Please come inside."
As Kira and Dax watched the doors close on them, the two women turned to each other. "By the way, I heard there's another Trill on the station and that he has his own slug."
"That explains why I felt mine shudder for a moment. Some symbionts are very territorial with each other," Dax explained. "It goes all the way back to the Symbiont Wars. Though, the less said, the better."
---
In Sisko's office, the Emissary to the Prophets was quick to hold his hand up to the Captaining from Daniel and Aeris.
"Let's not start that again," Sisko insisted before taking out a PADD. "Now, Captain Daniel, Starfleet has orders for you to patrol the Flortarios system. Flortarios III is not a Federation planet, but if the Dominion manages to occupy that system, they will be too close to Federation space. Their leaders have already accepted us."
Daniel nodded. "We'll do our part in this war. But no depressing slow-motion battle sequences."
"Very good," Sisko agreed. "There are already several Starfleet vessels there, as part of your task force. Due to, what I'm told you have as, excessive untold enhancements, the Phoenix-X will assume command."
Captain Daniel chuckled. "You have no idea. Actually, there's a large contingent of lower deck Klingons on the Phoenix-X just waiting to be let—"
"Frankly, Captain, I'm hesitant to protest your place here, since rumour has it you are a Changeling yourself," he near-played while sizing him up. "But if the whole of the Federation were to learn of such a thing, then I'm sure any advantage we could gain against the Dominion would diminish greatly."
Daniel sighed. "If that were true, Captain, I'd just be trying to live a life. Even a hundred years ago, a tolerant Federation would have ostracized that."
Sisko raised a brow. "We'll agree to disagree. Thank you, Captain." He watched Daniel leave before turning to a wide-eyed Aeris. "Captain Aeris, you also wanted to see me?"
"I am dying to get to my ship, the U.S.S. Xena. It sounds Ancient Greece-like but, I assure you, we're closer to the Ottoman Empire."
---
Later, Doctor Julian Bashir and a few circling nurses had completed working on the unconscious Joined Trill, Commander Night Gotens. The Doctor hyposprayed Gotens awake.
"Ugh. It feels like I was hit by a Whale Probe, but with more of the squealing. What happened?" the Commander queried while sitting up.
Bashir nodded. "I'm still trying to figure that out. There's a chemical imbalance in your symbiont system. Do you have any idea what may have caused it?"
"Oh, crap. I think so. Not long ago, I was persuaded to eat a cookie. But, not just any cookie. It had some kind of knock-out chemical in it. Had Trill cramps and visions of giant tardigrades ever since."
The Doctor put his tricorder away. "Well, there's a lesson in taking pastries from coworkers. In addition to forced interaction, it always leads to medical complications."
"You don't have to tell me twice," Gotens agreed. "Actually, Doctor Lox gave me a temporary balancing agent to manage the issue. He was going to operate for a more permanent solution, but dinosaurs and space clouds happened."
Bashir walked around in surprise. "The Doctor Lox? He's renowned in the medical community for immoral practice and protocol violations. I can't believe there is a starship he was accepted on."
"I assure you, Doc," Gotens started. "He cares for the wellbeing of his crew and has shown nothing but compassion between whatever strange set of tribble modifications he has going on. He can do both."
The human eyed him, skeptically for a moment. "Oh, fine. Be what it may, would you permit me to perform the balancing surgery? Just the experience itself would be valuable. We can forward all follow-up procedures with your doctor."
"Considering you're a legend, yeah!" Gotens perked, enthusiastically. "Any chance I could get one of those accelerated neural pathway formation things too? Would love to reach Spock-level intelligence, but without the pale skin."
Bashir looked at him. "You know there is a slim success rate to that, don't you? Never mind. We'd better inform your Captain of our plans," Bashir began just seconds before Daniel entered the Infirmary. "Well. Speak of the Devil."
"Actually, I'm a god," Daniel quipped. "By the way, don't look into that. It's an inside joke." He then turned to Gotens. "I came as soon as I heard."
The Commander nodded. "Word gets around fast on Deep Space 9. Strange when it applies to non-local crew, though."
"Yeah, our endearing traits should not extend to yours," Bashir defended. "As for the Commander, the cookie-caused symbiont imbalance is within a threshold of medical science, but I cannot predict how long or how many procedures will be needed."
Daniel shuddered. "Coworker cookies. I'm so glad I don't eat." Then he looked to a deadpanning Bashir before dismissing with a, "Don't look into that one either." He put a hand on Gotens' shoulder. "Take your time, Commander. The Phoenix-X will be on patrol in the Flortarios system."
"Flortarios? Old memories, eh?" Gotens drifted in distant reverie.
The Captain looked perplexed. "Huh? Oh, man. The imbalance is coming back. Please take care of him, Doctor. There was one time he was on green drink and told stories like flashback sequences. It was an episode in redundancy."
"That sounds like a clip-show nightmare. I'll do everything I can, Captain," Bashir said before Daniel left.
---
Next, Daniel was taking an appreciative stroll on the Promenade, on his way to an airlock when he was suddenly approached by Odo.
"Uh, excuse me, Captain," muttered the other Changeling in a Bajoran Militia uniform. "I was wondering," he hesitated, feeling somewhat out of character. "Well, if you would like to link with me?"
Daniel was taken aback, momentarily. "Oh, hi. Good for you. You keep wondering about that. See you later."
"Ahem! Well, you see, I could tell you were a Changeling from half a kilometre away and, despite some bad experiences with others of our kind, I would like to redeem that as well as learn more about you."
The Captain paused for a moment. "I am a fan of yours, Constable. But I'm not yet sure my level of comfort with linking." As Daniel began walking away, he had an idea and stopped himself. "Actually, Odo, wait. Would you join me on a patrol cycle on the Phoenix-X as Acting First Officer? We could get to know each other and, perhaps, consider that link?"
"I'll have to get clearance from Captain Sisko, but that would be acceptable," Odo pondered. "I'll prepare a travel bucket." He nodded to Daniel and walked off.
---
As the Phoenix-X was attached to Deep Space 9, the crew wrapped their efforts in the ship's Main Engineering with much ado pride.
"Amazing work, guys," Kugo relayed while examining a status console. "We were able to stabilize the warp drive and its transwarp function without the dependency on the Inimical cloud matter."
Billy shrugged. "Kind of a waste, though. What was left of that stuff gave us more power than our warp and fusion generators combined."
"Wait a minute. You're right," Kugo realized before snapping the entire Engineering back into a chaotic frenzy. "Everyone! Undo everything we did! Let's move, move, move!"
---
Meanwhile, Captain Daniel did a quick tour of the Phoenix-X before entering the Bridge. Everything and everyone was in tip-top shape.
"The ship couldn't have looked better. Too bad the Commander can't be with us," he sighed, taking a seat.
Ensign Dan, now realizing the situation, said to himself, "Now's my chance to be promoted." He then turned to get noticed. "Oh, Captain."
"Yes, Ensign?"
The Bajoran walked over. "I have cleaned out the cups in your quarters and went into your personal logs to correct all your grammatical statements."
"What!? You entered quarters that don't belong to you, probably used the wrong soap and accessed classified information?? You do not know how much trouble you are in, Mister. You. Are. RELIEVED!"
Grumbling on his way out, Ensign Dan muttered, "Jeez. I was just trying to help." After he was gone, the Captain checked the chronometer on his chair arm.
"09:56 hours and still no Odo. I guess he's not going to join us. There goes my First Officer," Daniel relented.
But then, a gravelly voice cut in over comms. "Odo to Captain Daniel. I have permission to go. Though, I could not find my travel bucket anywhere. I suspect Ferengi interference."
"Don't worry about that. We have plenty here, Constable." After Odo was on board, Daniel checked for any other missing crew. "Daniel to BOB. It's time to make like a Ressikan tree and perish."
A nearly drunken BOB could be heard over comms with crowd noise and Quark's dabo table spinning in the background. "You know what, Captain? Your crew is— is the best at breaking canon— Like, what even is half the stuff that's going— Going on?"
"I got him. He's now on board," confirmed Lieutenant Kayl, studying her operations screen. "Ugh. We're going to need a cleanup in Transporter Room 3. Cleanup in Transporter Room 3."
---
As the Prometheus-class Phoenix-X detached from one of the Cardassian space station's upper pylons and jumped to warp, Commander Gotens was waking up in Deep Space 9's Infirmary from surgery.
"Take it easy, Commander," Bashir warned, helping him sit up. "The procedure was successful, but I recommend you stay off duty for a few hours in case of residual imbalance of personal judgment."
Gotens nodded. "Thank you, so much, Doctor. I'll spend the time in my quarters on the Phoenix-X, leaving erroneous comments on everyone's mission logs."
"My pleasure," Bashir smiled. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have another surgery scheduled. O'Brien dislocated all his limbs, this time using two kayaks as giant water skis."
After he was gone, Gotens tilted up to the air. "Hopefully, I haven't missed the ship. Computer, locate Captain Daniel?"
"Captain Daniel and the U.S.S. Phoenix-X departed Deep Space 9 at 10:00 hours," the computer reported. "Alert. Pylon connector tube still hanging off that ship."
Gotens tapped his chin. "Oh, that's right. The latch still gets stuck. Well, I can still catch up with them. I don't think Captain Sisko would mind if I borrowed some transport. I'll have to ask him first."
---
Entering Captain Sisko's office off to the side of Operations, he found that the Captain was frantic and busy, going through PADDs of mission reports.
"Got to find that mini report again," he said to himself before absentmindedly noticing Gotens, without looking up. "Out with it. What is it, Commander?"
Gotens gestured. "Actually, I wanted to know if I could borrow a vessel for transpor—"
"—Computer, where is Worf?" Sisko distracted after a pile of PADDs fell to the floor. "Starfleet wants his miniaturized runabout report, but the PADD itself was never returned to normal size." Then he noticed Gotens' perplexed look. "Just go ahead with whatever you want," Sisko dismissed in distress as he then took out a magnifying glass.
Gotens smiled. "Great! Thank you. I'll set it to auto-pilot home and auto-shoot any Jem'Hadar."
---
The Commander then went to the docking ring corridor, passing screens displaying runabout after runabout.
"Rio Grande, Gander... Volga?" he criticized. "What kinds of names are those?" But then he found a docking hatch's screen to an unidentified ship displaying a shape larger and unlike any of the runabouts. "Ahh, a relief from the river transfixation. This looks like a nice one. I'll take it."
---
Out, in space, the Defiant detached, turned and jumped to warp in the direction of the Phoenix-X. Meanwhile, a Jem'Hadar attack ship, the Lyngon-951 suddenly surprise-dropped into normal space right in front of the station.
"Captain, we are under siege from a Dominion attack ship!" Kira declared from Ops as all the alert klaxons went off.
As the view screen showed the Lyngon-951 swerving to out-maneuver Deep Space 9's targeting sensors, Sisko quickly belted, "Okay, everyone to the Defiant."
---
Upon all of them reaching the docking ring section where the Defiant was supposed to be, the senior staff became somewhat dumbfounded.
"What the hell? Where's the ship?" Sisko gritted while checking the logs. "Send a message to any nearby Starfleet vessels. Someone has hijacked the Defiant! Possibly a Dominion spy or Ferengi interference."
Worf turned to Kira. "I suspect the latter."
---
Meanwhile, Gotens put his feet up on the arms of the Captain's chair aboard the Bridge of the Defiant, in an attempt to relax per doctor's orders.
"Oh, this is spacious. Also, did I just walk through the navigational deflector to board this thing? Computer, what ship is this?"
The computer replied, "This is the Defiant-class U.S.S. Defiant."
"What did you just say?" a growing wide-eyed Gotens halted as he got up, went to the helm and dropped the escort out of warp.
The computer easily repeated herself, "This is the U.S.S—"
"—Defiant!?"
---
Not too far away, the modified Galaxy-class U.S.S. Xena trekked itself the fraction of a galactic unit. Its First Officer sat in the beige command chair, flanked by the ship's special counsellor and the Second Officer.
"Hey, guys," started Commander Wing. "Now that the Captain isn't around, I'd like to dim the lights a bit more. There is just something so bright about this Bridge."
Kuri turned to him. "You can't. That just leads to dimmer and dimmer ships until, in twenty-eight years, all Bridges are insanely dark!"
"Oh, you're just overreacting. Next, you'll be talking about lens flares," Wendy said before her proximity alert went off. "Hold on. I'm reading the Defiant! Didn't Deep Space 9 just put out an APB for them?"
Wing stood up. "On the subspace radio, yeah. All units, too."
"Are we the cops of the 24th century?" Wendy asked. "Never mind. We are now coming up to the stolen vehicle. Note, the plates match the description!"
The screen then clicked on to a view of Commander Gotens. Wing spoke before registering, "You there! You are under arrest for the theft of a Starfleet craft of the highest order. Wait. Gotens? Night Gotens?"
"This isn't what it looks like," Gotens protested with upped palms to his old ship. "Okay. Maybe I did do exactly what this looks like. But, be honest, we've all wanted to steal the Defiant at one point or another. —Hey? Are you a Commander now?"
Wing blushed. "Ohhh, yeah. You said it would happen. Also, you would not believe this amazing woman I met at my promotion party. She had the biggest—"
"Commander! If we could?" interrupted Mable.
The man turned to her. "Please don't cut me off, Lieutenant." Then he turned back to the screen. "As I was saying, she had the biggest— theories on the origins of the Universe as well as an in-depth perspective on the social sciences of interpersonal relationships. Which makes this even harder, considering our pre-disposed friend-history."
"Are you leading up to something?" But Gotens was then beamed out and into the Brig of the Xena. "Why is it so bright in here??"
---
The Xena and Defiant then turned in space and warped back to Deep Space 9. There, they found that the station was under siege, now with several more Dominion attack cruisers.
"We've got our ship back!" Kira reported from a console in Operations as everyone was frantically working defence controls. "Talk about a sight for sore eyes."
O'Brien entered Ops and eyed her. "It was only gone for an hour, Major. Also, all my limbs are working again."
"Very good on both counts. Now, maintain photon torpedo bursts, Mr. Worf."
The Klingon continued firing, grumbling. "Being relegated to this again? I might as well have stayed on the Borg-stenched Enterprise-E. The variable deck count, I would have put up with."
---
Commander Wing was now on the Defiant, manoeuvring it and hitting the Lyngon-951 with photon torpedoes until it exploded.
"Okay, Gotens was right about this ship," he realized. "I do not blame him for accidentally stealing the Defiant, that symbiont-imbalance thing he mentioned notwithstanding."
---
Another Dominion attack ship, the Hinxen-332, maneuvered away from a torpedo as it fired polaron beams on Deep Space 9. The three-nacelled Xena then intercepted and disabled it before the Defiant phaser-cannoned the Hinxen-332 into another explosion.
"Yes! Did you see that assist from my ship?" Aeris bragged, entering Ops. "She's a tee-up'er. Think about us for your next missions. Here's my card."
Kira took one. "Is this hard paper?"
"Aaaand, we are done," Worf reported as he fired photon torpedoes into exploding one last Jem'Hadar attack ship, the Lyngon-952, prompting the other ships to retreat.
Dax perked. "What was this offensive for? It was obvious they were going to be defeated?" She wondered. "A misdirect for something else?"
"The Defiant's database was in a compromised repair state before the ship was prematurely exposed by the undocking," Worf theorized. "This particular task force may have been hidden in wait for that very opportunity."
Sisko raised a brow. "That's one less threat we have to worry about. Perhaps we have that Commander of the Phoenix-X to thank for drawing them out of their proximity sooner, or they may have struck Deep Space 9 at a more vulnerable time." He then noticed the perplexed look on some of the crew's faces. "Remember? They're a Phoenix-ship, but accelerated down the line of Phoenix-ships? Never mind."
---
Meanwhile, the U.S.S. Phoenix-X dropped warp in the Flortarios system. Its crew clicked on to a view of the majestic spacescape.
"Well, Constable Odo. What do you think? It's a beautiful place, isn't it?" Daniel queried.
Odo eyed the sulphuric red gasses backdropping a blue planet near an asteroid belt, whilst being highlighted by two suns. "Why, yes. I've seen many like this and, if we link, you'll see them too."
"Uhh, oh! Armond. How bad do you feel for anyone on that planet that has died from asteroid impacts?" the Captain diverted, nervously.
Armond checked. "Flortarios IV is uninhabited."
"Captain, we're being contacted by the U.S.S. Dropzone," Kayl reported after a message alert went off. "They say to meet in New Tallahassee city on Flortarios III. We'll be briefed on patrol strategies."
Daniel breathed a sigh of relief. "Phew! I guess we have to do more non-Changeling things. Yup. Postponing stuff for other stuff. Heh, heh." Then he snapped to, having successfully recovered himself. "Now, let's set a course, Mr. Red. Engage!"
