Episode 70

Star Trek: Phoenix-X
Temporal Doom! Part II

The U.S.S. Phoenix-X treks aimlessly through space. After escaping the clutches of 29th century people, while still remaining in said century, the crew find a safety in not having contact with anyone. Anyone!

Cell: “Captain’s log, Stardate......... um...”
The crew on the bridge just look at him, confused.
Cell: “Well we can skip the log this time. Amp! I want you to come up with a plan to solve all our problems.”
Amp: “Sir, my plan is to use time travel.”
Cell: “That’s not a bad plan.”

Suddenly, they’re approached by a Vorgon starship.

>Uorn: “Greetings, alien vessel. Now prepare to be destroyed!!!”
Cell: “Ahh!!”
>Uorn: “Oh sorry. I thought you were someone else. We’re the Starship Yocard.”
Cell: “We are a little nervous. This isn’t exactly our century.”
>Uorn: “You neither? We’re from the 27th century. We came here to plan a sneak attack against the Na’Khul. You know, Temporal Cold War and everything.”
Cell: “I’m from the 24th century. What is this Temporal Cold War?”
>Uorn: “Don’t you know about the Temporal Cold War? It’s the fight between all the time-capable species... Heh. Especially the Na’Khul.”
Cell: “Why?”
>Uorn: “Man, you must be daft. The Na’Khul are the sole starters of this war, claiming that time-travel belongs to everyone! But it’s not... Just like freedom doesn’t belong to slaves.”
Cell: “That is so true...”
Uorn: “Hey, wait a second. Are you from Starfleet??”
Cell: “Why, yes.”
>Uorn: “Oh! Our people have been meaning to get in contact with you. Starfleet dislikes the Na’Khul just as we do!”
Cell: “Well, we do strive to hate other cultures.”
>Uorn: “What would you say to an alliance, huh?”
Cell: “Umm, actually...”
>Uorn: “Come on; It’s both in our interests. Besides, the Vorgon government was going to ask anyway. Just say yes! You have nothing else to do today. Come oonnnn!”
Cell: “Oh alright, I guess.”
>Uorn: “Great! I’ll log it in the system.”

The Vorgon starship takes off in some kind of futuristic Warp unimaginable to our primitive minds. A couple of hours of sitting on the bridge in awe, the Phoenix-X is contacted via sub-subspace.

Goustas: “You there! What day is this?”
>Cell: “Christmas Day?”
Tulian: “Wrong! It’s the day you help us defeat the Na’khul from destroying all existence.”
Sayjan: “That’s right. We know you’re from a century long past. Possibly the century where goldfish-contained retro boots came back in style; we don’t know.”
>Cell: “I kind of have other objectives in this century...”
Goustas: “Look, Uncle Samuel L. Jackson wants you!”
>Cell: “He’s your Starfleet poster-boy in this time??”
Tulian: “Well, it was either him or Samuel Adams.”
>Cell: “I suppose I could help. But tell me, what is this sub-subspace thing?”
Goustas: “Ah, it’s a level of subspace we use as a database. We are able to store information in it like it was a hard-drive, and control access of it. The communication range is beyond anything.”
>Cell: “Fascinating! You’ve literally created a cyber-space.”
Tulian: “Yes, our Century is amazing.”

Meanwhile in the battle arena, two humanoid opponents fight to the near-death. Seifer takes on Kortos.
Kortos: “You won’t defeat me!”
Seifer: “That was a mean thing to say. I thought this was sportful.”
Kortos: “We Klingons are a provoking race.”
He moves to attack, but the Commander quickly runs over and knees Kortos in the chin. The Klingon goes flying back, but as he is sent into the air, Seifer somehow speeds around him to his back and hits him there. The Klingon is knocked in another direction.
Kortos: “Whoa!”
Seifer then runs at incredible speeds again, to hit Kortos from the other side. Kortos is tossed around like a beach-ball as Seifer runs from one end to the other, kicking the Klingon in mid air. When the Klingon finally hits the ground, the timed-battle is over.
Kortos: “Ouch!! How did you do that?”
Seifer: “I don’t know. I suddenly have this incredible speed.”
Kortos: “What are you eating for breakfast? I will have the same.”
Seifer: “Cheerios.”
Kortos: “Hmm. Perhaps not.”

Commander Seifer makes his way into sickbay, where the Doctor is looking over some temporal equipment.
Lox: “Ah, the Commander. How can I help you?”
Seifer: “You infused me with temporal resolution! I was certain you were told not to alter anymore people’s bodies with your insane experimentational intentions!”
Lox: “I was told not to add anymore ‘body-parts’. That’s different. You see? Different.”
Seifer just looks at him.
Lox: “No one ever said anything about temporal resolutions!”
Seifer: “If I were earth-Jewish, I’m certain I would be saying ‘oy-vey’ right now.”
Lox: “What’s the matter? Isn’t it helpful to be that fast?”
Seifer: “No. In fact... what if I took a woman to bed?”
Lox: “Oh I’m sure that won’t be happening any time soon.”
Seifer: “What if I wanted to play chess?”
Lox: “Then you knock the pieces away in aggravation, where clean-up is easy.”
Seifer: “What if I had to explain instructions very slowly to someone?”
Lox: “You’ll be glad for not lowering yourself to the common man.”
Seifer: “Never-mind. I’ll give your speed ‘drug’ a try. In the meantime, I want you to stop altering people’s physiologies in any way for the mere servicing of your experiments! That’s what Tribbles are for.”
Lox: “Yes, Commander.”

Back with Starfleet’s Left Fleet, the group of Captain’s are forced to meet on the Jenova again.

Goustas: “Alright. Let’s do this thing.”
They activate a hover-screen which contacts Agent Rave on his ship, the Atlantis. Rave blinks on screen.
>Rave: “Ah, the triple-threat.”
Goustas: “The other Captain’s and I have been talking, Rave.”
Tulian: “We believe it’s time for you to hand over the Atlanits.”
Sayjan: “Yep.”
>Rave: “What? You’re asking me to stand down? After all I’ve done for you???”
Goustas: “We never asked for your help, Rave. Besides, we know you’re from another time period.”
>Rave: “What gave it away? The primitive shaped bone structure? The out of style hair-cut?? My constant use of the word ‘the’???”
Tulian: “It was your lack of knowledge when we mentioned a dingle-hopper.”
...Rave finds himself stumped for a moment.
Sayjan: “Come on! Everyone knows what a dingle-hopper is!”
Goustas: “Yeah, you’re definitely not from this time-period.”
>Rave: “So?? I’ve proven myself on the field. Your own Captain Solok is from the Year 2375!”
Tulian: “That’s because his logic is unbelievably incredible!”
Sayjan: “You, on the other hand, make us considerably nervous-- Collar stretching nervous, if you will.”
Goustas: “So hand over the ship and any Starfleet memorabilia on your shelves!”
Tulian: “We know you’ve got the Willard Decker action figures Shocked and Calm Willard in your protective foam suitcases!”
>Rave: “Augh! You pathetic Starfleet brand are nothing but an annoyance to me!”
He taps a few buttons on his console, sending out a message in space.
>Rave: “I’ve just sent for my reinforcements. I refuse to allow myself to be taken-in by the likes of you!!”
Sayjan: “What is that supposed to mean? Is he insulting us?? I think he’s insulting us!”
Goustas: “It must be a 24th century thing. Get him!!”

Suddenly, the Jenova advances in space, attempting to open fire on the Atlantis. But the Atlantis backs off confidently as about ten Section 31 starships drop warp in space right next to him. They all face the five Starfleet ships in confrontation.

>Tulian: “What the heck!?!”
Rave: “As you can see, I’ve already gained all the ally’s I need.”
>Goustas: “But... how? Section 31 has been reduced to a book-keeping section of Starfleet. They no longer have the ins they used to way back then!”
>Sayjan: “Yeah those Starships are used to transport books; the new information keeping form of the 29th century!”
Rave: “Well I’ve opened their eyes to a new way. The old way!!”

The Starfleet ships open fire at the Atlantis, but the Section 31 ships provide cover as Rave escapes. The Atlantis jumps to warp out of there, with the Section 31 ships following behind.

Elsewhere, the Phoenix-X approaches the lead Na’khul ship, the Nekul. They tap into their temporal drive systems.
Amp: “They seem awfully calm of our approach.”
Cell: “According to the Starfleet of this time, our old-style ship signature comes off as that interspacial Whale species. They’ll think we’re space-Whales.”
RaeLuna: “Sometimes I believe we are. But doubtfully, infecting their temporal drive can’t possibly stop the war on time.”
Kugo: “Actually, all time-capable Na’khul ships operate their drives on the same sub-subspace frequency. If we can infect one with a virus of some sort, all the fleet ships will be infected as well.”
Amp: “That’s where I come in. My viral nature is to infect computer systems, considering I’m a computer-virus manifested as a Hologram.”
Cell: “Yes, well, the Phoenix-X systems thank you for your years of infection.”

As Lieutenant Amp transfers to the Nekul and infects them, the Atlantis and fleet of Section 31 ships drop warp.

Sidd: “Sir, I have bad news and even more bad news.”
Ghrath: “Break it to me easy, Lieutenant.”
Sidd: “Well the temporal drive’s of the fleet have been corrupted, thus ruining any chances at time-travel; and the Atlantis has entered the system with Section 31 reinforcements.”
Ghrath: “First of all, ouch. Second of all; Those book-keeping hog-washers?? What information could they possibly need to inscribe on their primitive forms of tapestry-stacking??? Unless, that Rave guy is starting some kind of revolution with them. He’s more powerful than we thought!”
Just then, the Starfleet Left Fleet drops warp to join the party.
>Tulian: “It’s over Na’khul ship. We took out your temporal ability and fooled you at the same time. With a double hit like that, there’s no way you stand a chance.”
Ghrath: “Wrong! The truth is, it is you who has been fooled; for you see, your Sayjan isn’t a Human at all. In fact he is one of us!”
>Tulian: “NNNnnnnoooooooo!!!!”

Sayjan shrugs his shoulders and beams over to the Atlantis. There, he takes over Rave’s vessel and fools all the Section 31 ships into attacking the Starfleet Left Fleet.

Amp transfers back to the Phoenix-X, to report all this.
Cell: “What an odd turn of events. We must stop the Atlantis!”
Seifer: “But how??”
RaeLuna: “Perhaps our Vorgon friends could help.”
Cell: “Your crazy ideas are good. Contact them immediately.”
RaeLuna: “Done. They are on their way.”
Seifer: “Now we play the waiting game.”
Amp: “Hey, is that them?”
They look on screen.
Amp: “Oop, no, it was just a thing.”
Seifer: “Hey, is that them??”
On screen it shows the Vorgon fleet dropping Warp to advance on the Atlantis, but the Atlantis catches on to this and decides to time-jump out of there!
RaeLuna: “Sensors indicate an escape of epic proportions.”
Cell: “We’d better follow them. There’s no telling what time-line they’ll screw up.”

The Phoenix-X flashes out that mess and back into the past... so far, in fact, they head towards the 23rd century.

The Federation Starship Enterprise treks through space, on a first contact mission.
#Kirk: “Captain’s log, supplemental. The Enterprise continues on course towards the rendezvous point of our new friends. Although we’ve neared the co-ordinates, there have been no signs of them anywhere. I’m left somewhat confused.”

He pops his fist onto the button upon his chair, turning the log feature off. Just then his first in command, Spock walks over.
Spock: “It would appear as this specific alien species has a delay in punctuality.”
Kirk: “Yes. Or, we’re extremely on time, and that’s taboo for them.”
At that moment, McCoy enters the bridge.
Spock: “If anyone knows punctuality, it would be Doctor McCoy.”
McCoy: “Excuse me, Spock? Captain, is he making fun of me again?”
Kirk: “Heh, heh. Now then you two; let’s not start with this.”
McCoy: “Who are we supposed to be meeting anyway?”
Spock: “A species called the Lethean. If they refuse to show up, it would be quite possible they decided against relations with the Federation.”
McCoy: “Well what in the heck is the hold up?”
They all look out into the view-screen in confusion.

Further on, into space, beyond sensor range, the Phoenix-X and the Atlantis flash in. But before anything can happen, Rave and Sayjan start fighting each other on the Bridge.

Cell: “Ugh. When are we??”
Amp: “...The 23rd century.”
Seifer: “It appears time is no consequence for the Atlantis.”
RaeLuna: “Sensors are picking up an approaching vessel... it’s Lethean!”
The viewscreen clicks on.
>Flarrd: “We are the Lethean, here to meet with you. You appear Federation......ish. Let’s begin our first contact procedures.”
Cell: “Umm. Actually, you’re supposed to be meeting with someone else.”
>Flarrd: “What is that fighting going on in that ship? We can read your minds you know!”
Cell: “Uhh.... holy crap! What’s that?!”
He points over their shoulders, tricking them into turning around. Then he cuts the screen out.
Cell: “Phew. That was close.”

The Phoenix-X locks a tractor beam onto a corner of the Atlantis. The beam can’t hold and breaks off an interface module off the side of the ship. The piece flies off into space while the Atlantis flashes away into time and beyond.

Ensign Dan: “They’re gone!”
Cell: “Yes. I can see that.”
Ensign Dan: “I’m just letting you know.”
Cell: “Well I didn’t ask you, so you’re relieved!”
Ensign Dan: “Crap!”
The Phoenix-X flashes away, in an intense pursuit.

When all is gone, the Lethean starship locks a tractor beam onto the floating module. They examine it, and decide not to open relations with the Federation; turning around and warping out of there. They have something far better at the moment, a telepathic interface module.

Elsewhen, at about the 25th century, the Klingon cruiser Ya’Vang is met with the Federation starship Excelsior. Ambassador Alexander Rozhenko meets with Fleet Admiral Alynna Necheyev in their Briefing Room where a time-travel prototype has been brought.
Necheyey: “As you can see, the Federation would like not to keep secrets from the Klingon Empire. We have developed what is known as time-travel technology. It is still in its beginning stages. Didn’t I request to see your father as well? I wanted to push my strictness on him.”
Alexander: “First of all, this technology is fascinating. Second, I’ve been too busy lately to talk to my father. Besides, he can’t ever seem to decide whether or not he wants to be in Starfleet or the Klingon Empire. I swear he must’ve transferred back and forth nearly fifty times!”
Necheyey: “If I were a nice person I would advise you that ‘it is important to keep in touch’, and then remind you ‘not to forget that’. But since I am, theoretically, ‘bitchy’, I will forego such positive influencing.”

Suddenly the Phoenix-X and the Atlantis flash in, just outside the rendezvous. Torpedoes, phasers and explosions begin to exchange left and right between the two warring ships; while Necheyey and Alexander run to the bridge in terror.

Alexander: “Dear gods! It appears to be time-traveling starship’s.”
Rightwell: “Their actions are just horrible!”
When the two ships flash away, Alexander is left to a new realization.
Alexander: “This can’t be... If time-travel begins, we’re going to need some kind of inter-species Temporal Accord?”
Rightwell: “Well, right.”
Alexander: “There’s no time to visit my father. I plan to devote myself to these peaceful accords to prevent any of this ever happening!”

Back in the 20th century, the Atlantis flashes in with one of the occupants down. When the Phoenix-X flashes in, they end up blocking the direct route of a Briori vessel.

Seifer: “Sir, it appears our shields are being poked by the pointy end of a starship.”
Cell: “Hail them!”
>Zorku: “You idiots. You’re in our way!”
Cell: “As you can see, we’re trying to throw our primitive technology against this futuristic Starfleet ship. We can’t do it with you poking at us!”
>Zorku: “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but we’re on our way to Earth. We have to enslave some Human beings right away!”
Seifer: “Did you just say enslave??”
>Zorku: “Yes. According to the Skagaran’s, the Human’s on this planet called Earth are the best slave workers ever! Man, those Skagaran’s know their slaves.”
Seifer: “Really? How can I find this... Earth?”
The Captain immediately cuts the channel in anger and gets the Phoenix-X to follow the Atlantis to their next time-jump.

Meanwhile, the Biroi vessel continues on course for Earth, 1937.

The Atlantis flashes in to the 26th century. There, the Phoenix-X flashes in and is about to fire but everyone on board are suddenly brought to their knees in pain. It appears a sudden telepathic attack causes the Phoenix-X crew immense suffering.

A Lethean starship approaches them.
Plarrd: “We are the Lethean vessel, Mikonikoff. Centuries and centuries of mental development have allowed us to become super-telepathic. In fact, our enhanced super-telepathy can be attributed to a futuristic telepathic-module found way back in the 23rd century before almost joining your Federation!”
>Cell: “But why are you attacking us now???”
Plarrd: “Reading your minds, it appears you witnessed the said events just said by me!!!”
>Cell: “Ohhh yeahhhh.”
Plarrd: “It’s too late anyway. We’ve already used our super-telepathy to summon a trans-dimensional species that will convert your pathetic ‘normal-space’ into utter crap! They are called the Sphere Builders, and they’ll use their sphere’s against you!!!”
>Cell: “Uggh-- It’s of no consequence. We’re out of here anyway.”
Plarrd: “I’m telling you. You better be scared! They’re coming for the Procyon System first!”
Suddenly the Federation starship Phoenix-X approaches and opens a transmission.
#Siken: “Now, now. What’s going on here? I’m Captain Siken of the Federation Starship Phoenix-X.”
Plarrd: “Ahh! You win this round!”

The Lethean ship evacuates in fear, as the Phoenix-X meets with the future Phoenix-X.

Seifer: “It can’t be... they’re the Phoenix-X!”
RaeLuna: “In this time-period the Phoenix must have been on the letter X, as per the amount of ships that have been created in its name up until now.”
Cell: "Which is what our ship is; so that ship is us, but refitted to look different after many centuries. To save time, let's lie."
>Siken: “Greetings. We are the twenty-fourth starship to bear the name Phoenix. You seem to have temporal-technology of our time period; and also, how is it a ship like yours already has an X?”
Cell: “It’s quite simple. The X is an actual part of our name. Therefore, we’re not part of the ‘Phoenix’ series of ships, but rather a ‘Phoenix-X’ series of ships.”
>Siken: “How bizarre. Then your successor vessel would be the Phoenix-X-A, and then the Phoenix-X-B.”
Cell: “We’ll never have successors!!! ...Oh by the way, you’re about to be invaded by a trans-dimensional species called the Sphere Builders-- gotta go!”

The Phoenix-X flashes out of there, promptly following the queues of the Atlantis.

Siken: “Huh? What was that you said? Oh well. It’s probably not important.”

Finally, in the 31st century, a single Holographic-occupant Kyrian starship has made it home to the Alpha Quadrant. There, the Medical Hologram finds no trace of the Federation... for it has gone.
EMH: “This can’t be. It’s gone. All gone!”
He looks down in disappointment.
EMH: “I know I’m merely a backup of Voyager’s EMH, but I feel I will never know what happened to my friends. Did they ever get home? Did Tom and B’Elanna ever get married? Did Janeway keep her hair that way??”

When the Phoenix-X and Atlantis flash in, the two ships start blasting torpedoes at each other again. The Doctor suddenly finds a hole in the Phoenix-X’s shields, links up computers with the Phoenix-X and downloads a copy of the database.

EMH: “Fascinating. According to this database... my home vessel Voyager did return home! Oh this makes it all worth it!”

Meanwhile, the Phoenix-X takes many painful hits from the Atlantis, damaging their hull. Conduits and support beams blow everywhere throughout the ship!
Cell: “Uughh! This never would have happened if it wasn't for the technology of time-travel. Why are people so obsessed with it?? It is like they need to have not only power over state, but also power over space!”
Seifer: “Maybe time-travel is the final frontier?”
Cell: “If that's true... then we are all doomed.”
The ship shakes again.
RaeLuna: “The temporal drive has been knocked offline!”
Cell: “Re-route auxiliary power to Engineering!”
RaeLuna: “No time. The Atlantis is about to time-jump again!”
The Captain and the Commander look at each other in response to this.
Seifer: “Lock a modified tractor-beam on to him!”

The beam is shot out into space, hitting the Atlantis in mid time-jump.. causing the effect to be carried over. Both ships suddenly flash into the temporal-plain, with a strain to the structural integrities.

RaeLuna: “We’re trapped in some sort of temporal-wake!”
Cell: “Way to go, Seifer!”
Seifer: “Oh well. At least the Starfleet is having a better time than us.”

Meanwhile, the battles in the 29th century continue, but with additional miscellaneous races.
Goustas: “Well, now there are so many species’ involved, I can’t keep up.”
Tulian: “No kidding. Who-ever invented time-travel was a complete idiot.”
Goustas: “Speak no ill words of time-travel. Without it, life would be nothing but linear. Think of when man-kind thought the world was flat. We would have been left in the dark-ages if not for people who advanced our percetion of the universe.”
Tulian: “I guess you're right. It's kind of like this Vorgon situation. I had no idea the Vorgon’s were our allies.”
Goustas: “They are? Where does it say that??”
Tulian: “Right here, on the sub-subspace database server. Someone allied with them.”
They continue checking.
Tulian: “Also, someone broke relations with the Klingons.”
Goustas: “Oh crap. We’re in trouble.”
Tulian: “That’s okay ...Someone else allied with the Borg!”
Goustas: “Phew.”

Elsewhere in space, a Borg cube approaches the Starfleet vessel, Crucial.
#Drones: “We are the Borg; prepare to be assimilated.”
Wulong: “You can’t take us alive. I won’t let you!”
#Drones: “Resistance is futtt Wait. It appears our two sides have now allied. We are no longer enemies.”
Wulong: “Then in that case. Shall we invite you over to our ship? Our home is your home.”
#Drones: “This looks like the start of a beautiful relationship.”

The Drones beam over, to have a tour of the ship. But they can’t deny their natural instincts so they start assimilating the computers and people. Fear!