7.7.98

Episode 12

Star Trek: Phoenix-X
"Warfare"

(On the Phoenix-X, Sickbay)
Lox: Doctor, please give the hypospray with 50 cc's of edenilin perodene.
EMH: All right.
Lox: Administering solution. Doctor, please finish this patient.
EMH: Right. Phasers set to kill.
Lox: No! What the heck do you think you are doing?
EMH: I'm finishing this patient off.
Lox: I meant, to close the incision.
EMH: Ohhhh.
Lox: Memo, have Lieutenant Kugo take a look at the EMH's holomatrix.
(He walks to his office)
Lox: Computer, please play some music.
#Computer: Specify choice.
Lox: How about some early 21st century music? Let's hear those Hanson girls.
#Computer: Please choose track.
Lox: Play the remake of MMMBop, YuMMMy.
(The music plays)

(In the Ready Room)
Daniel: So, our people are dying?
>Odo: Yeah. And there is nothing I can do. Weyoun 6 expects me to rebuild the Dominion for the benefit of all.
Daniel: Go for it. I'm sick of this war.
(An alert beep goes off)
Daniel: Oh, oh. Hold on, Odo. I have an incoming transmission on the other line.
>Rebola: Admiral to Captain Daniel. Starfleet has developed a new technology and we want the Phoenix-X to test it out for us.
Daniel: Uh, huh.
>Rebola: This has to be top secret. No one below the council has word of this and it can't go beyond the hull of your ship. Got it? Good. I'm sending you the information now by priority link. Good day.
(The admiral severs communication)
Daniel: Ummhuh. Yeah, and you too....*&^*(&.
>Odo: I beg your pardon.
Daniel: Sorry, that was Admiral Rebola.
>Odo: What did she want?
Daniel: I'm not at liberty to say. Sorry.
>Odo: I understand. I better go now. There are rumours about on Ambassador Clonton and his secretary Monisha Lewiscie.
Daniel: Oh, okay. Daniel out.
(The screen is out)
#Armond: Captain, there are some files for you straight from the Starfleet Priority Link.
Daniel: Oh okay. Send them all to my console in the Ready Room.
#Armond: Understood.
(The files load up to the captain's console)
Daniel: These look like files for a weapon of a sort. It says here that it uses slipstream technology for the effect. Mmmm. There is a sound clip. Let's hear it.
#Computer: Slipstream Torpedo. Capable of folding space upon impact.
Daniel: Hmmm. This can really be an advantage over the enemy. We must start construction now. Daniel to all senior officers. Please meet me in the conference room.

(Meanwhile, aboard Romulan starship Konsugon, on the other side of a star)
Plutark: Soo... that's what Starfleet is up to now. Slipstream Torpedo. Hahahahahaha. Hahahahahaha. Hahahahahaha.... *Cough ...cough*

(On the Phoenix-X, Conference Room)
Daniel: Starfleet has given us Slipstream torpedo technology.
Ensign Dan: I thought we were here to talk about the new Starfleet Edition underwear?
Gotens: We are. But look at this first. This is how the Slipstream torpedo supposedly works.
(On the screen, an image of the Phoenix-X fires at another Phoenix-X image. The torpedo hits the ship and a scatter of lightning surrounds the entire ship. The ship's pieces suddenly burst into small fragments, until the entire ship bursts into tiny fragments. The debris just floats among the other ship)
Red: Can the torpedo really do that?
Gotens: Yup. There's not even a warp core breech. Once on impact, the torpedo opens a subspace slipstream conduit. That conduit tears the ship apart.
Wallace: Is that safe for us? What if one malfunctions on our ship?
Gotens: Good question. I would be very delighted to answer that thought-provoking question if I were not too busy stalling the answer with a long unnecessary remark that leads to me handing it off to the Captain. Captain?
Daniel: We haven't built it yet, but we do have Starfleet's go on this. Now all we have to do is follow the instructions they gave us and build it. I have full confidence in you guys as a close-knit crew that can affix equipment together but not maintain it together, resulting in a guaranteed large explosion every time.
Ensign Dan (tearing): That's, that's so beautiful.
Kugo: Can the Phoenix-X really generate enough power to open a slipstream conduit?
Kayl: Yeah, what is Slipstream? I haven't heard of it before.
Armond: Neither have I.
Daniel: I admit, I haven't either. It almost sounds like transwarp technology, even by looking at the specifications. But clearly, it's a weapon of mass destruction.
Armond: Is there a defence against this?
Gotens: You mean like shields? Not that we know of.
Kayl: This is crazy, it's suicide! Wallace is right, it could destroy us too!! Does the underwear come in soft cotton?
Gotens: I've looked over the specifications and blueprints. The model is safe to build. In fact, it's simple. Trust me. Oh, and the weapon is safe to build too.
Daniel: Stop that! Let's do the torpedo thing. Dismissed.

(On the Konsugon, behind the star. Bridge)
Plutark: Hahahahahaha. Hahahahahaha. Hahahahahaha—
Tense: Captain! You can stop laughing now. The whole Romulan Senate already knows about Starfleet getting the Slipstream torpedo.
Plutark: Oh. What did they say?
Tense: They said, let it go.
Plutark: They did!? Too bad! We go through all the trouble of intercepting the message, and we get a 'let it go'!? I'm sorry, but I will not stand for that!
Tense: You won't?
Plutark: No! But I'll sit for it.
(He sits in his chair)
Plutark: Did you intercept the Slipstream torpedo technology blueprints?
Tense: Yes.
Plutark: Good. Get to work on it. I want those weapons too.
Tense: Yes sir.
Plutark: Koli, hail the Isotope.
Koli: On screen.
>Meloneus: What do you want? I told you, the next time I see you, I will kill you. I am seeing you, but I am not killing you! I must be impaired in some way or another—
Plutark: I have a new weapon. Na na na na naaaa naaaa. I am willing to share it with you if you call off your wish to kill me.
>Meloneus: Well…. okay.
Plutark (taps controls): Bring your ship to these coordinates. The Phoenix-X won't pick up your signal.
>Meloneus: Phoenix-X!? I have a wish to kill them. Moohoohhahahaa! Now I will come for the pleasure. Isotope out.
(The screen cuts off)
Koli: Why do you wish to share the technology with them, when you could just kill them with it?
Plutark: Meloneus will suspect a trap, but when he finds out that it's not really a trap, he will trust me. Then I will be ally's with him. For a Romulan, gaining a friend like that could be useful in the future. Plus we can test this weapon out on that Starfleet ship out there.

(On the Phoenix-X, Sickbay. The doors swoosh open and Gotens walks in)
EMH: Don't worry little Ferengi. We'll take good care of you.
(The EMH puts a hyposrpay against BOB's neck)
BOB (jumps): AAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!
(He runs away)
Gotens: What was that all about?
EMH: May I help you?
Gotens: Yeah, where's Doctor Lox?
EMH: Doctor Lox is resting at this moment.
Gotens: Why? Isn't he on duty?
EMH: Yes, but he was accidentally poked in the ribs with a freno pin. His legs are temporarily paralyzed.
Gotens: Oh my gosh. Who did it?
EMH: Well….uhhh…are you suggesting it was me!?!?
Gotens: No, I--
EMH: Well what are you doing here, Mr. Perfect!?
Gotens: I need the Doctor to take a health analysis of the workers in the Slipstream Chamber. That's where we take care of the new weapon.
EMH: Well I can do it. I promise I won't mess things up.
Gotens: Okay. Don't worry, there's a holo emitter in the control room.
(The two walk out of Sickbay)

(The Phoenix-X hovers in space, half a light-year away from the star)
#Daniel: Captain's log. The merchandise is being created successfully, I will be expecting it very soon; we put quality cotton in these underwears. Oh, and the Slipstream torpedo is being created successfully too. I've asked Armond and Wallace to get to work on a defense system against this weapon. They say they are progressing. I have yet to get a report on it. They imply something about manipulating our transwarp functionality. We've located a Class 5 comet to test the weapon on. Other than all that, it's all good. Unless there's a fleet of Cardassian battleships planning to attack us. Like that'll ever happen hahahahahahahahaaa!! Ooops, Computer, end log—

(The Isotope enters the system, while a small Cardassian fleet waits outside of sensor range, undetected)
Meloneous: Hail the Romulan starship on the other side of that star. Set the frequency according to the star's radial output.
Paladis: Channel is open.
Meloneous: On screen.
>Plutark: Ahhh. So, you came, my friend.
Meloneous: Cut the crap. I want to see this weapon.
>Plutark: Patience, patience, my rigid-faced companion. The goods are being made right now and is almost done.
Meloneous: Inform me when it is done. Gul Meloneous out.

(On the Konsugon)
Plutark: Well, it must be that time of the month for him.

(On Isotope)
Meloneous: Where is that Starfleet vessel?
Paladis: It is half a light year away, sir.
Meloneous: Good. Keep close watch on them. I want to know their every move.

(On the Phoenix-X, Bridge)
Daniel: Daniel to the Slipstream Chamber. How is everything going?
#Kugo: We're just cleaning up.
Daniel: So you are done.
#Armond: Yup.
(The Captain hears something big and metallic drop in the background)
#Armond, Kayl, Kugo, and BOB: Ensign Dan!
#Ensign Dan: Ensign Dan reporting for duty?
#Armond: You're relieved.
Daniel: So everything is set?
#Kayl: Yes sir.
Daniel: Very well. Stand by for further orders. Daniel out. Daniel to Gotens.
#Gotens: Yes, Captain.
Daniel: How are you doing with the safeguards?
#Gotens: Everything is done. We manipulated and harnessed the tachyon emissions we need from the core. These emissions should act as a barrier and neutralize the weapon when coming in contact.
Daniel: So have you figured out how to ignite the torpedo?
#Gotens: I've figured that out also. The emissions are set and regulated by a polar conduit. The conduit could change its charge when time, therefore destabilizing the barrier of the guard and imploding the bomb.
Daniel: Good idea. Meet the Slipstream team in the Weapons bay for the final putting-together. Daniel out. Daniel to the Slipstream Chamber. Meet the commander in the weapons bay.

(Meanwhile, on the Konsugon)
#Wreky: Captain, the weapon is complete.
Plutark: Great. Load it up and meet me on the Bridge. Plutark out. Open a channel to Gul Meloneous.
(The screen clicks on)
Plutrak: Gul Meloneous. Our construction is complete. We are ready to test it out on the Phoenix-X.
>Meloneous: Great. I'm heading in with my fleet to intercept them. Hold off till we are in position. They will then drop warp. At that time, fire the weapon.
Plutark: Ahhh, a surprise party. I like that, from a festive point of view. Okay, inform me when you are in position.

(On the Phoenix-X, Bridge)
Daniel: Everyone to their stations. When is that comet going to intercept?
Kayl: Interception in one minute.
Daniel: Ready weapon. Set polar conduit to implode upon impact.
Armond: Set.
Gotens: Lock and load.
Kayl: Comet ahead setting mark 5-2-4-8.
Gotens: Target.......
Daniel & Gotens: Fire!
(The torpedo fires ahead of the comet. It explodes. A vortex opens distorting the view)
Daniel: Can I get a clearer view on it?
Kugo: What you are seeing is just the distortion of the comet being pulled between space and time.
Daniel: Impressive.
(The comet is then broken into space particles)
Gotens: Success.
(An alert beeps)
Wallace: Captain, I'm reading warp drops on the port, starboard..... They are everywhere!
Gotens: This is common when there is an—
Wallace: Incoming fleet.
Daniel: Red Alert. Evasive maneuvers! Attention all hands, we are under attack. Stations.

(On the Isotope)
Meloneous: Meloneous to Plutark. We are in position. Fire now!
#Plutark: Firing weapon now.

(On the Phoenix-X)
Armond: The Cardassian flagship is transmitting to another ship at the other side of that star.
Daniel: Why didn't we notice them before?
Armond: The sun's radiation masked them from our sensors. Without a direct sweep, we couldn't detect them.
Daniel: Very well.
Wallace: That ship just fired at us.
Daniel: Can we get out of here?
Wallace: Not enough time.
Gotens: How about separating?
Wallace: Not enough time. Brace for impact!
Daniel: Shields up.
Wallace: That weapon they shot is of slipstream.
Daniel: What!?
(The shot fired at the Phoenix-X impacts the Bridge. The Bridge's hull begins to break up, shaking and causing everything to flash in a power shortage)
Daniel: Erect a Level 10 force field around the bridge.
(Wallace, lying on the floor, reaches up and presses some buttons on the console. A force field is erected. The Bridge's hull is totally stripped, leaving it open to space, except for the forcefield)
Armond: Shields down. Another hit like that and we'll be destroyed.
Daniel: That's it. Bring the weapons online. Initiate Multi-Vector Separation.
#Computer: Initiating Multi-Vector Separation. Specify target.
Daniel: The Cardassian fleet.
#Computer: Specify attack sequence.
Daniel: Omega M-37
#Computer: Commensing separation and attack.
Gotens: How many ships are there?
Armond: Fourteen accounted for. But they're small ships. 
(The Phoenix-X separates into three and engages in attack of the fleet. After some radical maneuvering and exploding vessels, the vectors regroup)
Gotens: How many are taken out so far?
Armond: We have just destroyed nine. Three are retreating back to Cardassian territory.
Daniel: What about the other two?
Wallace: We are still engaged to one. The other is heading towards the ship that fired on us.
Daniel: Well, finish it off!
Kugo: That slipstream blast has nearly taken propulsion offline. It's hanging by a thread.
Daniel: Reroute all non-essential systems to the tri-focal array. Computer, initiate attack sequence Tri-focus Attack.
(The three vectors of the Phoenix-X move into a triangle position and focus their power to the center of their space before erupting a conjoined beam into the enemy)
#Computer: There is not enough power to complete attack.
Kugo: It must be the force field that is holding containing this bridge. If we shut it down, then we'll have enough power.
Daniel: Okay, everyone out of the bridge. Get to a part of Vector Alpha that is safe. On the double.
 
(Everyone moves to the back control room)
Gotens: But how are we going to initiate the attack?
Daniel: The ship is voice-activated, remember?
Gotens: Right!
Daniel: Computer.
(He pauses due to no response)
Gotens: The voice command in this section must be knocked out.
Daniel: There is only one way. I must be on the Bridge to activate it.
Gotens: But you will be killed. There is no way you'll survive.
Daniel: I'm a Changeling, remember?
Gotens: Right! But I still cannot let you go. You're like a cousin to me.
Daniel: Yeah, in what lifetime was that? Just kidding. Anyways, it's an order. You will restrain yourself. You have command if I am not able.
 
(He returns to the Bridge and turns his feet into giant magnets)
Daniel: Computer, lower force field and divert power to the weapons. Re-initiate attack sequence.
#Computer: Attack sequence has been initiated.
(The three vectors go into triangle formation. They focus their energy and fire to the ship. The ship is destroyed)
Daniel: Computer, put yourself together.
(The Phoenix-X reassembles. Meanwhile, the Isotope continues to the Konsugon. Daniel goes to navigational controls and sets a course to intercept at maximum impulse)
Daniel: Senior officers report to main engineering. I want the slipstream torpedoe online. They are going to pay. Computer, engage cloak.
(The Phoenix-X cloaks. But, because there is no hull around the bridge, it seems the Captain is flying through space)
Gotens: Captain, torpedo is online.
Daniel: Great!
(The Phoenix-X slows to a stop to a position facing the two enemy ships)
Daniel: Computer, decloak.

(On the Konsugon)
Plutark: Ah! It's the Phoenix-X. Attack!!!!
>Meloneous: Yeah, same here.

(On the Phoenix-X)
Daniel: Firing torpedoes now.
(The slipstream torpedo is fired at the two ships)
Daniel: Haha.

(On the Konsugon)
Plutark: Destroy that torpedo, now!!
(The Konsugon fires a plasma beam into the torpedo, but the impact opens a conduit between the two ships)
Plutark: Get us out of here.
>Meloneus: Yeah, same here.

(The Isotope and Konsugon attempt to escape, but the slipstream conduit also engulfs part of the star. The star begins to tear between spaces. The ships then start straining to be released from the conduit)

(On the Phoenix-X, Engineering)
Kayl: Captain, readings show that the slipstream conduit is making the star unstable. I predict that it will go nova in one minute.
#Daniel: That isn't good. I need all the power you can muster down there.

(On the Bridge, Daniel takes all available power and to propulsion)
Daniel: Computer, erect a force field around the bridge. Transwarp, engage.
(The ship transwarps out of the system before the star goes prematurely nova and destroys the Isotope and the Konsugon and then whole system. The explosion sends shockwaves of matter and energy through subspace)
Daniel: Computer, more power to transwarp.
(The wave's effects ripple within the conduit one hundred meters behind the Phoenix-X and catching up before it eventually dies out)
Daniel: Computer, all stop. Stand down red alert. Attention all hands. Mission accomplished and threat abolished. Let's get to work on fixing this ship up.

(Later, the Phoenix-X treks through space)
#Daniel: Captian's log, Stardate 52339.1. It's been a week since the slipstream torpedo incident. We've just finished repairing the outer hull of the ship, replaced the fifth nacelle and I had Lieutenant Wallace pull a little more security around communications. We've also been contemplating the destruction that has been wrought by these torpedoes and their classification as subspace weapons therein. Starfleet is trying to walk a fine line, and I don't think they should. Admiral Rebola will be joining us today to discuss.

(On the Bridge, Armond displays a view of the hull on screen)
Armond: Uh, Kayl? How do you spell Phoenix-X and why, on the hull of the ship, is it spelled with the E before the O?
Kayl: Oops. I think Ensign Dan was part of that repair team.
Armond (turns it off): Better not let the Captain see this.
Kayl: Right.
Daniel (enters): What?
Kayl (exits): Uh, your nose is lop-sided.
Daniel (covers it): Oh. Uh, return to your posts!

(The starship Mythril drops warp and approaches the Phoenix-X. Admiral Rebola transports into Transporter Room 3)
Rebola: Commander.
Gotens: Ah. Admiral Rebola. It's good to see you again.
Rebola: Do I know you?
Gotens: Well, uh, we shared some drinks one night on Trill during my last host, Rikonen Gotens. Not sure if we should remember the rest.
Rebola: Right! We tried to go swimming in the symbiont pools.
Gotens: Yeah, and then fishing, ensuring future Joined Trill to be in for some unpleasant memories.
 
(On the Bridge)
Daniel: Okay, who's ear swab is this? Kugo?
BOB: That would be mine.
Daniel: Come on, man. 
BOB (takes it back): Sorry, sir.
Daniel: I just shapeshift my own, anyway. Also, everyone, get this Bridge cleaned! The Admiral is going to be here any minute. She wants to see how the Slipstream torpedo is functioning.
BOB: Oh yeah, that subspace weapon that we're not supposed to have?
Daniel: You know that conversation is for Captains and above, only.
Rebola (enters): A talk for me, you say?
Daniel: Admiral! How long have you been standing there?
Rebola: Long enough to know what you are shapeshifting into tonight.
BOB: Uh, anyway. According to the Khitomer Accords, the Federation has banned subspace weapons because they're unpredictable and dangerous.
Gotens (gets up): What are you talking about? Our weapon doesn't fall into any of those categories. Tell them, Armond.
(Just by checking its system, Armond accidentally fires a Slipstream torpedo into space)
Armond: Uh, yeah. Just as we predicted, another unpredictable launch of the weapon has happened again and I believe it is safe to say that this weapon is dangerous.
Rebola: That's it! I'm taking this Slipstream torpedo out of here!
Daniel: Okay, but accelerating a star from a millions-of-years nova into minutes has its own scientific merit, no?
Rebola: For people to evacuate when? Have everything transported to my ship by 01:00 hours, or you're all court marshalled! Thank you. Come again.
(She exits)
BOB: You know, they were just using the Phoenix-X for field testing, right? Also, why would a Romulan and Cardassian ally when they are at war with each other—
Gotens: Enough with your cockamainy contradictions! Admiral Rebola is looking out for people like you and me, and Ensign Dan, who is jumping on the bandwagon of installing black lights in everyone's quarters.
Daniel: He's what!? Ensign Dan, you're relieved from your post!
Ensign Dan: But this is not my post?
Daniel: Then get to your post!
(The Ensign walks over to his Science station)
Ensign Dan: Here I am.
Daniel: Great. Now you are relieved! Ahhh, that felt good.