(Commander Gotens enters Transporter Room 4 and steps onto the transporter floor)
Ensign Blly(at the control panel): Gulp--are you sure about this, Commander? I could get fired!
Gotens: Stop thinking about yourself, Ensign! Energize!!
(Ensign Billy works the controls and dematerializes the Commander. The Commander beams into a Federation Reception Party, right in front of the dessert table)
Gotens(picks up a plate and starts putting food on it): Mmm... Chocolate Cake...
(He looks to further down the table)
Gotens: Oh my gosh! Jello!
Daniel(approaches the Commander): What do you think you're doing? You're supposed to enter through the automatic opening doors! You are just so lazy. --Aaahh!!! What the heck is that!?!
Gotens(looks at his plate): It's jello.
Daniel: Get it away from me! You people make me sick.
(Admiral Theseus taps his glass to get everyone's attention. Everyone just keeps talking)
Theseus(continues tapping): Ahem. Welcome to Starbase 55---
(He taps harder. The glass shatters. Everyone looks at him)
Theseus: That's better. Now, we're all here for one reason, and do you know what that reason is?
(Everyone in the crowd looks around at eachother, clueless)
Avery: The jello?
Theseus: No, not the jello! We're here to welcome the Gordarions to the Federation.
(Everyone looks to thier left to see a group of the Gordarion species just standing there)
Cloud: Hey, I didn't even notice them.
(A Gordarion): Please talk to us, we're lonely.
(The party resumes. The Commander sits at a table with Walace)
Gotens: Walace? What are you doing here? You're not an Admiral, Captian or Commander. You're disrupting our high class bliss.
Walace: I'm in charge of security surrounding the party. Admiral Theseus has taken a shine to me, heh, heh.
Gotens: If you're here, then who's in charge of secuirty on the Phoenix-X while your gone?
Walace: Ensign Dan is taking over.
Walace: Well, he bribed me with Pokemon Cards.
Gotens: No, look!
(He points to the guy who just sat down at the table next to them)
Walace: Who's that?
Gotens(keeps his voice low): It's Commander Avery!
Walace(surprised): Oh my God, the guy who wears his uniform extra tight to show off his butt?!
Gotens: Eeuu. No, that's Commander Riker. This is the guy who promised revenge on me!
Gotens: He was the Commander on the Phoenix!
Gotens: He was your Commander for 9 months!!
Walace: Ohhh, that Commander Avery.
(Captian Aeris takes a seat at thier table. She flirtingly smiles at Commander Gotens)
(He notices that she wants to flirt)
Gotens(looks into her eyes): Well, hello.
Aeris(looks back into his eyes): I've been wanting to talk to you all evening...
Aeris(looks down at his plate): Yeah, can I have that jello?
Aeris: Daniel hid all the jello from the dessert table and there's no more. People are dieing out there!
(Gordarion #1): They're out of jello!
(Gordarion #2): Oh no!
Gotens(gives her that plate): Uhh... oookay...
(She takes it and runs off.)
Walace: Man, I woudn't mind if she wore her uniform a little extra tight--- y'know what I'm sayin?
(Paraniod, Captian Daniel runs up to them)
Daniel(breathing heavily): Come on, we have to get out of here! The jello's finished and they're bringing in reinforcements!!
(Three people enter the room, each pushing a wheel barrel stacked with jello)
Daniel: That's an order Commander.
(Meanwhile, on the Bridge of the Phoenix-X...)
Ensign Dan(giving orders to people): You! Scrub the deck! You! Clean your ears!
Kayl(walks up to him): You're just in charge of security, you idiot.
Ensign Dan(raises a finger to her): Rebellious people like you are a secuirty risk!
Kayl(pushes him aside and walks away): Oh pu-leese.
Ensign Dan: I'm on to you!
(Someone else walks by)
Ensign Dan: I'm on to you! I'm on to everyone!
(Commander Gotens beams onto the Bridge, in someone's way)
BOB(bumps into him): Hey! Why can't you beam into the Transporter Room like everyone else!?
(Daniel beams in beside them)
BOB: Heyyy, Captian, mak'n the cool entrances. I like that.
(BOB continues to walk, but bumps into Walace as he beams in)
BOB: Hey! Watch it, humaan!
Daniel: Why does everyone have to copy my entrances?
(Commander Avery beams in beside him)
Daniel: Stop copying me!
Avery(takes out an electronic padd): Oh, be quiet you walking jello. --You! Ferengi!
Avery: What is your function on this ship?
BOB(shrugs): I dunno.
Avery(taps his padd): Irrelevant crew members... that is definitely going in my report.
Daniel: What's going on here?
Ensign Dan(walks over): Who the heck is this guy? Secuirty to Bridge!
Daniel: Oh be quiet. You're relieved!
Ensign Dan(walks away): Uh!
Avery(taps at his padd): He had every right, Captian. --Relieveing crew members at will ...this is going in my report.
Daniel: What report? What are you doing here!? I thought you died on the Phoenix!
Avery: No, I was knocked unconscious. As for the reason of my being here... I'm to inspect your ship... The U.S.S. Xena!! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Daniel: ...This is the Phoenix-X.
Avery: --Oh. ...Well there was a typo.
Gotens(thinking): (Avery? Inspecting the ship? Could it be that he has come for revenge against me? Why now, 2 years later!? This could be my chance to find out if he was really serious!)
Kayl: (Hey, Commander! I'm telepathic, remember!?)
Gotens: (Telepathic? I'm not telepathic. How am I communicating to you?)
Kayl: (Oops. I was supposed to keep my double telepathic powers secret. --Just pretend we never had this thought-versation)
(Gotens and Walace enter the ship's Dance Club and take a seat at the bar. They see Avery sitting at the other end of the bar, drinking alone)
Walace: Man, that Avery is the pinnacle of my demotion.
Gotens: He demoted you?
Walace: Yeah! I used to be "Lieutenant Commander"-- now I'm just "Lt.", the abbreviation of Lieutenant.
Gotens: I'm sorry. If only there was a way I could help you.
Walace: Everyone on the ship hates him. We all know him from the Phoenix. --Well, except you and Ensign Dan, who came from the Xena. --And he has this weird rage. It'll pop up unexpectedly. He'll get mad for no reason. We don't know when, we don't know why, but he just does sometimes.
Gotens: ....Really... And Starfleet hasn't taken his Command away?
Walace: Nope. 'Cause he's got a 'love' for Starfleet. A respect for the rules, that he holds as the most important thing in his life. --And he'll use those rules to his advantage! Beware his rage... Beware...! Beware...!! Bew--
Gotens: Yeah, yeah, I get the point.
(The next day. Avery enters the torpedo bay and looks at one of the torpedoes)
Daniel(runs in): Hey, wait up, you lunatic!
Avery(reads the inscription on the torpedo): What's this "J-3 Torpedo"? It doesn't look Starfleet issue.
GoyCho: Oh, it's just a little something we've been working on for the past 2 years. --But don't tell no one. It's a secret.
Avery(taps his padd): Oh-ho. This is much worse than your Klingon upgraded tractor beam. You're goin down for this one, Daniel.
Daniel: It's just a stupid torpedo!
(Avery and Daniel enter the Cloaking Device Room)
Avery: A cloaking device? Captian, tisk, tisk, this is severely against the treaty of Algeron.
Gewdeque: We got this device from the Bochnah, our cousin Klingon ship.
Avery(taps his padd): Really. I'll just pretend you never told me that, and dock points anyway.
(The two walk into sickbay. Doctor Lox and the EMH are doing surgury on a patient)
Lox: Uhh... okay, what do I do now? What's this red stuff?
EMH: Hey! Get your finger off that!
Avery: You're running the EMH when there's already a Doctor!?
Daniel: So what? There are holo-emitters all over the ship! We have hologram space to spare.
Avery(taps his padd): It costs a lot of holo-money to run these machines, you know!
(They approach Armond's control panel, on the Bridge)
Armond: Hey! Do I approach your panels!?
Avery(tapping at the control panel): What's this? "Ionic Lightning Shielding"!?
Armond: Yeah, we got that from the Carthaginians. They're the not smart race.
Avery: What's this? "Regenerative Hull"!?
Armond: Yeah, we got that from the Borg. They're the half machine race.
Avery: What's this!? Multi-Vector Mode!?
Avery: Oh wait, you're allowed to have that one.
(They walk down a hallway, passing Klingon after Klingon)
Avery(taps his padd): Too many Klingon's on one deck.
(They stop by the Mess Hall)
Avery(taps the padd): Mess Hall, too messy.
(They stop by 10-Forward)
Avery(taps the padd): 10-Forward, too forward.
(They stop by the Dance Club. People are dancing)
Heelix: Shake that booty!
Felix: Great moves!
Meelix: Hey, your butt hit mine!
Peelix: That wasn't my butt!
Avery(taps his padd): Too many -eelix's on the dance floor.
(They walk down the hallway. Shane shapeshifts out of the wall and greets them)
Avery: Another Changeling!?!?!
Daniel: Heh, you wouldn't believe the story behind that--
Avery: I don't wanna hear it!
Daniel: I was gonna tell Starfleet about him sooner or later! --Maybe after the the year 3000--
Avery: I don't care, Daniel! All these modifications are against Starfleet's honour code!!
Shane: ...I guess I caught you at a bad time.
(They enter Main Engineering. Avery just stops, breathless)
Daniel: ...Oh yeah--
Avery: Where the hell is the warpcore!? Plasma is supposed to be blue!! What the hell is this thing!?
Kugo: That's the Transwarp Core.
Avery: Where did you get this Transwarp technology!?
(Daniel and Kugo glance at eachother, for once clueless)
Daniel: I'm not sure. It came with the ship.
Kugo: Perhaps it was from Santa Claus.
Avery: From Santa!? --Oh, well nevermind then. I'll always have a place in my heart for jolly old Saint Nick.
Kugo(glances at Daniel): That guy is wierd.
Daniel: Hey! I thought Vulcan's aren't supposed to have emotion.
Kugo: --I mean--that guy is so illogical, that he's just wierd.
Daniel: That's more like it.
(Night falls in space. Avery returns to his drunken stuper at the Club. Gotens and Walace watch from afar, the other end of the bar)
BOB: Why do you two keep watching Commander Avery?
Gotens: I'm wondering about his tempremental nature. --That, and he promised revenge on me.
Walace: I was just wondering what he'd look like in women's clothes.
BOB: He promised revenge on you?
Gotens: Yup. Don't you remember? Jeez. Well the reason he wanted revenge is... Oh, what the heck, I don't have the energy to finish the rest of that sentence; let's just have a flashback...
(2 Years Ago, on DS9, after the Phoenix was destroyed...)
Daniel: I've just recieved a message from Starfleet. Because Commander Gotens reporting my actions on interrigating him that time--
Ensign Dan: --And this is not the only time Daniel has done something like this, the Federation is upset of him.
Daniel: You're relieved of duty!
Ensign Dan: But I'm not on duty.
Daniel: --Then...when you go on duty, you'll be relieved!
Ensign Dan: ...Yes sir.
Daniel: With a successful plea bargain, I am to command a new Pheonix...as Captian...
Gotens: As Captian...you're not Admiral anymore?
Daniel: No...Only this ship will be different. Qualities of it are...unique. I will be very proud to command...the Pheonix-X. And I hear I should be getting a new Commander.
Ensign Dan: Sir--
Daniel: No! You're relieved!
(In the crowd)
Gotens: Waitaminute, it's my fault he's demoted?
Commander Avery(walks over): So you are the pathetic one who took my place. ...I'll be watching you Gotens. Your every mistake, fault, and scratch. When I'm done with you, your
career in Starfleet will be forgotten.
(Avery walks away)
Gotens: Oh man.... and I have a wedgie.
(Back to present time, at the Club)
BOB(sleeping): Zzzzzzzz.... --Oh! Is the flashback over? Great storyyy--no plot--but great story.
(BOB walks away)
Gotens: Stupid big eared Ferengi.
-BOB: I heard that.
Gotens: So, Walace, you say Avery has an unknown rage pattern?
Walace(drinks his beer): I say a lot of things.
Gotens: Then let's have a little experiment...
(Avery drunkenly looks over his padd)
Avery: Hmm... so many things wrong with the Pheonix--hic--oh well, hic, I'll just give them an A and let them do thier thin--
(A piece of jello hits him in the head)
Avery: What the--!?
(He looks around the Club. He sees people dancing, talking, two guys just sitting at the bar, and two girls, in the corner, making out. He goes back to his padd. Another piece of jello hits him in the head)
Avery: Who did that!?
BOB(walks over): Did what?
Avery: Someone threw jello at me!
BOB: Heh, you must be dreaming; there hasn't been jello in here since the break out of '82.
(Avery looks around for any suspicsious people. He goes back to his padd. A piece of jello flings off of the padd)
Avery: Alright that's it!!
(He stands up)
Gotens(nudges Walace): There, look. He's gonna blow his top!
Walace(looks over): Ooo, a show.
BOB: What!? What's your problem?
(Avery is about to take his anger out on him, but stops.)
Avery: Uhh...nothing--nothing, nevermind. I'll just go back to my nickles--uh--dimes--I mean quarters. Man, I'm drunk.
(Avery leaves the Club)
Walace(grabs Gotens's arm): What? No way. He didn't even bust a vein.
Gotens: And that concludes experiment number 1; he's not susceptible to annoyances...
Walace(shakes him): A vien! Not even a vien!!
Gotens: Alright, alirght! Let go of me! Jeez, you're so annoying.
(The next day, Gotens, Walace, and Kayl hide behind corners and walls while following behind Avery as he walks down the hallway.)
Walace(whispers): What are we doing now?
Walace: What, you can tell Kayl, but not me? It's because she's a higher rank, isn't it?
Gotens: (Okay, are you ready, Kayl?)
Kayl: (Yup, no problem.)
(Kayl walks up to Avery)
Avery: Go away and get back to work, whoever you are, whatever it is you do.
Kayl: But Avery--I'm in love with you!
(She grabs him, pins him up against the wall and makes out with him)
Kayl(stops and steps back): ...
Avery: What? Why'd you stop? Don't you love me anymore?
Kayl: Avery--I've been seeing someone else.
Kayl: It's Elly! I've been seeing her! --Well, it's splits-ville for us. It's not you, it's me. I still have emotions to work out--bye!
(She runs away.)
(Gotens and Walace watch)
Gotens: Okay, here it comes...
(Avery just stands there, confused)
Gotens: Anytime now...
(Avery walks away)
Walace: He didn't break out in a mad rage.
Gotens: And so concludes experiment 2; he is not susceptible to heartbreakers.
Walace(glances over at him): Oh, Commander, Shelly told me to tell you that she doesn't want to continue her relationship with you.
Gotens: What!? When were you supposed to tell me this?
Walace: ....A week ago, I think.
(The next day, Kugo, Walace and Gotens enter the ship's pool hall)
Walace: When did we get a pool hall?
Gotens: The same day we got the anti-gravity swimming pool room.
Kugo: I hate having to swim from blob to blob. --I mean, if I had emotions, I'd hate that.
Gotens: There he is.
(Avery is at a pool table, playing by himself)
Kugo: Tell me again what you wish to accomplish from all this?
Gotens: No, that'll take too long.
(Kugo approaches Avery. Walace and Gotens watch from afar)
Kugo(takes a pool stick): Perhaps you would like to play against me.
Avery: Was that a question?
Kugo: No, it was an assumption.
(They commence the game. Half an hour goes by.)
Avery(knocks the 8-ball into the corner pocket): Ha! I win again! Oh yeah, I'm the man. And all the girls say I'm pretty fly for a white guy.
Kugo: Darn! I lost!
Walace: Commander, she lost.
Gotens: ...Wait for it.
Avery: How would you like to put some stakes on the table?
Kugo: But they would block the balls.
Avery: No. How would you like a bet? 200 holo-bucks per ball.
(They play. Half an hour goes by.)
Kugo(knocks the 8-ball into the side pocket): Ha! Ha! I won!! --I mean, I have won.
Avery: I didn't even get a turn! *$%^@!%&!! I thought you were bad at this game! You tricked me!
Kugo: Yeah, well that's because I'm a Romu--uhh, I mean, Vulcan.
Avery: Arrgh!-- Well, nice game, I'll be going now.
Walace: He didn't get mad!
Gotens: That's experiment 3; he's not susceptible to losing.
Walace(hands him a ticket): Oh, I forgot. Here's your Chocobo Racing bet. You owe 2 bars of latinum.
Gotens: What!? I don't have that kind of money! This is the future! We don't believe in money!
(Walace and Gotens enter 10-Forward, the next day. Avery is sitting at a table)
Gotens: One last experiment, to see if he's susceptible to insults.
(Walace and Gotens sit at Avery's table)
Avery: What the--?
Gotens: Hi, Avery.
Avery: What do you people want?
Gotens: Avery, yo mama's so fat, it takes four transporter locks to just dematerialize her--one for each hemisphere!
Avery: Hey! She's just big boned.
Gotens: You smell so bad, that you could degrade a level 10 forcefield--the rest of us just spray the air with Klingon cologne.
Avery: I'm just too busy for sonic showers.
Gotens: Your ears are so big, that they tried using them as particle arrays, but the only stuff that came out were clumps of ear wax.
Avery(picking his ear): .... --Huh? Hey! Why are you making fun of me? I'm going!
Walace: I just don't get it.
Gotens: Oh forget it. Our experiment's failed. No hope! There's no hope!
(Daniel paces around the Bridge)
Daniel: --Uhh....Red, where have we been going these past five days?
Red: The Disney Planet, sir.
Daniel: What!? Change course.
Armond: Oh my gosh, sir! I'm detecting another ship, it's Voyager! Do you want me to hail them?
Daniel: No time. We have to get back to where we were, from where we are, in the opposite direction of where ever it was we were going.
Kayl: Great strategy, sir.
Red: Sir, it's an honour to serve under your command.
Elly: Hey, Captian, want your usual foot masauge?
Tong: No, it's my turn!
Daniel: I love this crew. ...That's it everyone, keep sucking up.
(Commander Avery enters the Bridge)
Avery: Well Captian, I've made my desiscion--
(Gotens enters the Bridge, wearing normal everyday clothes)
Avery: Oh my gosh! Are you on duty?
Gotens: Yes. It's dress down Friday.
Avery: I have never seen such a total lack of respect for the Federation in my years since Picard tried spray on hair! You are all crazy!!
(He starts moving around, doing actions for everything he says)
Avery: I hate you all!!! I'm disembarking all of you from this ship! You're all relieved of Command as of now!!!--uh, until we reach Starbase 55.
Daniel(laughs): You don't have that power, Avery.
Avery(hands him his padd): And I'm going to personally have this ship dismantled!!
Daniel: Oh my gosh, he does have this power. Admiral Theseus and Captian Cid's finger and toe prints are on this, saying he has full power.
Avery(points at Gotens): Ha! Ha! Ha! I got my revenge on you!
Gotens: What!? I thought you were gonna ruin my career?
Avery: Well, this way is better.
Gotens: Well, I'll resign if you re-establish the Phoenix-X.
Ensign Dan: I second that motion!
Avery: No! Heh, heh. I wouldn't give you the satisfaction.
(He leaves the Bridge. Everyone else starts leaving the Bridge, grumbling)
Walace(walks over to Gotens): Hey, why did you wear that anyway?
Gotens(looks down at his clothes): This was going to be my experiment 5.
Walace: Well, it worked. You didn't fail! Just like everything else you do!
Gotens: That's a good thing, isn't it?
Walace: ...Stop confusing me!
(He walks away. Captian Daniel and Commander Gotens are left on the Bridge)
Gotens: Well, what are we gonna do now?
Daniel: You'll most likely get transferred.
Gotens: What about you?
Daniel: Me? I dunno. I've been in Starfleet for a while, now. Maybe they'll give me another ship.
Gotens: Yeah. You're a highly respected Changeling, aren't you? You'll probably replace Picard or something.
Daniel: Yeah, since I can shapeshift to look just like him.
(They leave the Bridge)
(A day later, the Phoenix-X docks Starbase 55 and everyone on the ship gets off. Avery stands at the air lock, watching everyone walk out)
Gotens(walking out): I can't believe I was so blind.
Avery(laughs): Ha! Ha! Are you going to swear revenge on me?
Gotens: No. But I will do something about this.
Avery(laughs): Ha! Ha! Ha!
Gotens: You better get outta here. The Klingons are behind me, and you know how they get when they're decomissioned.
Avery(runs away scared): Aahh!!
(A couple days later, a shuttle craft approaches the U.S.S. Xena and docks it. Gotens enters the Bridge)
Aeris: Welcome back, Commander.
Ensign Dan(enters the Bridge): Hey, aren't ya gonna welcome me back?
Gotens: Where's Commander Wing?
Aeris(smiles at him): He was transferred to the Bautista 8 months ago. I'm just glad to have you back.
Ensign Dan: Oooo, I see love in the air.
Onegera(turns around in her chair): Hi, Ensign Dan.
Ensign Dan(covers his eyes): Aaahh!!! I remember you!!! Oh God, the uglyness! The uglyness!!!
Ensign Dan: Oh God... this is gonna be a looong 20 years--assuming I live that long.
(Walace enters the Bridge of the U.S.S. Manila)
Cid: Great to have to aboard, Walace. Now, take the sensors station.
Walace: ...But, Captian, I'm chief of security.
Theseus(stares at the viewscreen, displaying the stars): ...Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Manila. It's continuing mission, to seek out new life and other civilizations.... to bodly go where no man has--
Cid: --Uh, sir? That intro has already been copyrighted.
Theseus: It has? Arrghh. Great. Now I have to think of a new one. Let's just get outta here. Walace, take the helm.
Walace: Admiral, I'm only chief of security!
Cid(turns around and notices Walace): Oh! Walace! I didn't even know you were here. Great to have to aboard. Now, take the Captian's chair.
Walace: But you're the Captian!
Cid: ...Are you giving me lip?
(2 Months go by... Everyone has successfully been re-assigned...)
(Armond walks on to the Bridge of the Enterprise)
Armond: Hi, everyone!
(Picard and Riker stand up)
Picard: Stop saying hi when you enter the bridge!
Armond: But I always used to say hi on the Phoenix-X.
Riker: Well it's not nesceccary here!
Picard: Riker and I are going to 10-Forward, you have the bridge, Data.
Data: Aye sir.
Armond: Hey, shouldn't I have the bridge?
Riker: No! Data's third in command. You're just in third-and-a-half in command.
(The two leave)
Armond: Stupid Riker! ...Oh well, I'll just re-align some couplings or something.
Data: There is no need, I have already done that with my superior capabilities.
Armond: Stupid Android. I'll just reload the torpedo commands.
Data: I did that too.
Armond: Arrggh!! Well what the heck am I supposed to do here?
Data: Can you babysit Spot for me?
Tong: --Ooo, can I?
(Counsillor Troy enters the Bridge. Kayl glances at her)
Kayl: (Oh great, she is back.)
Troy: (Arrghh!! I can't stand your double telepathic powers!! It's driving me crazy!!)
(Troy covers her ears in pain)
Troy: Arrghh!! I can't stand your double telepathic powers!! It's driving me crazy!!
Data: Kayl, I order you to get off this deck for the sake of Troy.
Kayl: Tch, fine!!
(She stomps off to the turbolift)
Kayl: Stupid Andriod!!
(Captian Wing enters the Main Engineering of the U.S.S. Bautista)
Gewdeque(stands up straight): Captian on deck.
Kugo: Why do you always have to say that when he comes here?
Wing: Stop talking about me in the third person!! --Now, Uncle Captian Wing wants to know how the Warp drive is running.
Kugo: Sir! It is running at peak efficiency, sir!!
Wing: Good! We have to celebrate! Let's all go to the Bridge for some drinks!
Gewdeque: Why do we have to celebrate everytime we accomplish every little thing?
Kugo: Vulcan's do not like celebrations.
Wing: Hey! We just hit a new 'speaking-frankly' level in our professional relationship! We have to celebrate! Let's all go to the Bridge for some drinks!
(Red walks onto the bridge of the Klingon ship, the Bochnah.)
Red(with messy hair): Ugh...
Menchez: Sleep well, Red!?
Red: No! Captian, there aren't any coushons on my bed!!
Menchez: Well of course not! This is a Klingon ship! You're not a soft Federation Officer. You never were! You were just in that exchange program! Get used to the spikes on the beds!
Menchez: Did you just say "Arrgghhrrggh...."?
Red: No, I said "Arrgghh...".
Menchez: Good. If it was the other way, you'd be challenging me to a Klingon fighting competition.
Red: Arrrrgghhhh, so many Klingon rules to remember...
Menchez(stands up): Hey! You just challenged me to a Klingon dance competition!!
(GoyCho and Elly enter Quarks Bar, on Deep Space 9. They have a seat)
GoyCho: Oh my gosh! I can't even make any new illegal weapons!
Elly: I know. And even if we were allowed to, there would be no one to fight. We're on a station that doesn't go anywhere! I wish a war would break out.
(Bashir and Ezri walk over)
Ezri: Hey, can we have a seat?
Bashir: How rude! Come on, Ezri, let's go play Doctor.
(Ensign Dan enters Commander Gotens's living quarters, on the Xena)
Ensign Dan: Well, it's been two months... and it sucks here! There are too many girls on this ship! I keep getting slapped for my femenist comments!!
Gotens(preoccupied): Well, stop making them.
Ensign Dan: So, you've been going out with Aeris for all this time. Haven't you asked her to marry you, yet?
Gotens(looks at the ring): No. I'm waiting for the right moment. Maybe I should start out by saying, "Hey, I've been seeing someone else!" and then go, "Just kidding!"
Ensign Dan: I can't believe it. Your life is made from here on.
Gotens: Yeah, I kinda like it here better in some ways to the Phoenix-X.
Ensign Dan: Like I said, you have it perfect. Out of all of us!!
Gotens(stands up and hands Ensign Dan some padds): I know. Have you read these letters from people like Kayl, Armond, Red, GoyCho and Kugo? They all hate thier placements!
Ensign Dan: Don't blame yourself. We'll blame you for you.
Gotens: But I still haven't got any letters from Daniel--or Shane. Where are they? I've asked so many Admiral's and they don't know what ship he was placed on.
Ensign Dan: Maybe he returned to the link or something. I hear that's the thing to do these days.
Gotens: I keep asking Avery if he's found out anything about Daniel's wherabout's, but I can't expect him to give me a straight answer.
Ensign Dan: Well, I'd love to stay and listen to more of your burdens, but I just came for the letters--see ya.
(Commander Avery enters Admiral Theseus' office, on Starbase 55)
(Admiral Cloud walks in)
Cloud: Hey, did you come to play his mini golf too?
Avery: No!--well, maybe. --Cloud! Where has Admiral Theseus been!!!?
Cloud: On the Manila, with Captian Cid and his crew.
Avery: I need to contact him for more orders. Gotens keeps asking me about the whereabouts of Daniel!!
Cloud: Just tell him he returned to the link or something.
Avery: You want me to lie to my arch enemy!? How evil do you think I am? Jeez.
(Gotens enters Aeris' quarters)
Aeris(talking to her friend on the viewscreen): --Oh my God, he's here--gotta go!
(She clicks it off)
Gotens: Aeris, there's something I've been meaning to ask you.
Aeris: Uh huh?
(The viewscreen in her quarters goes on)
*Avery: Gotens! I found out where Daniel is!
Gotens: Argh. Couldn't that wait?
*Avery: He's returned to the link!
Gotens: He has? Why?
*Avery: I dunno, I just found out.
Gotens: From who?
*Avery(hesitates): From--uhhh....from....that Ferengi, BOB! Yeah, that guy.
Gotens(doesn't believe him): Oh yeah....well how do you spell his name?
Gotens: Hah! Wrong, you spelled it backwards!
(The screen clicks off. Aeris looks to the Comander)
Aeris: You were asking me to marry you? The answer is---
(BOB goes on screen. He's at some alien club)
Gotens: Hey, we were just talking about you.
*BOB: Finally, I got a hold of you. I tracked you down on that last communication from Avery. --He's been ignoring my hails.
Gotens: Oh my gosh, where are you?
*BOB: I've been living my life away from the Federation for the past two months.
Aeris: Can't you see that we're in the middle of something here?
*BOB: This is important. It's about the Phoenix-X.
*BOB: Can we be alone, Captian?
Aeris: Eeuu, no. Why would I want to be alone with you?
*BOB: I mean, can the Commander and I be alone!?
Aeris: Alright, alright.
(She leaves her quarters to the hallway)
Ensign Dan(walking by): Captian! Nice body.
(She slaps him)
Gotens: Well, tell me.
*BOB: I found out that Admiral Theseus doesn't know anything about the Phoenix-X being shut down.
Gotens: How do you know that?
*BOB: I have Captian Cid, here. He's beat up pretty bad, he keeps falling in and out of consciousness. He needs medical attention. We need your---hel--
(The transmission begins to break up)
*BOB: I sa---we-- your--- help--
Gotens: What? You're breaking up. Where are you?
*BOB: I--m at th-- 3rd Bo--an Outpo--
Gotens: The what?
*BOB: --$%-- 3rd --olia O---ost.
(The screen cuts out. The ship shakes. Aeris runs into the room)
Gotens(taps his comm badge): Gotens to Bridge. Report.
**Mable(voice): We're under attack, Commander.
Gotens: Is it the Borg?
(Aeris and Gotens enter the Bridge. The ship shakes)
Mable: Like I said. We're under attack.
Wendy: They must've followed that last transmission.
Gotens: People are doing that a lot nowadays.
Aeris: Who are these aliens?
Mable: I don't recognize this species.
Gotens: Shields up, Marble.
Gotens: Oops, sorry.
(She activates the shields. A huge grey Ship approaches them and blasts torpedoes at the Xena)
(A huge grey ship fires again on the Xena. The torpedo goes right through the shields and blasts a hole in the hull. Everyone on the Bridge, falls down. A support beam falls and smashes through the Tactical control panel. More debris on the Bridge collpases, everyone dodges the debris.)
Onegra: Abandon ship!!
(A support beam falls on Gotens.)
Aeris(goes to his aid): Commander!
Gotens(under the beam): Ugh. Just go without me!
(The rest of the crew goes to escape pods. They are alone on the Bridge)
*Computer: Warning, 1 minute 50 seconds until warpcore breach.
(A part of the cieling falls into the helm controls, near her. She ducks fying debris)
Aeris: No! I can't leave without you!! We we're going to get married!!
(They both work on getting the support beam up)
Gotens(pushing it): Ugh. I can't, marry you!
(Gasses shoot out from vents in the walls)
Aeris: Why not!?
Gotens: My crew needs me!! I can expose Avery and put him in jail, then I can get a new ship for them because they hate thier placements!!
(They push the support beam up.)
Aeris: A new ship to replace the Phoenix-X!?!!
(The Commander gets out.)
Gotens: Yeah, the Phoenix-X was dismantled!!
(They put an arm around eachother and head for the turbolift, manouvering falling structures.)
Aeris: Who cares about your crew!! You'll have a new life, here!!
(The turbolift doors don't open.)
Gotens(steps over a beam): I have to, I owe them!! The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few!
(They make thier way to one of the science stations at the back)
Aeris: Computer, beam us to the Escape Pod deck.
*Computer: Warning, there are no availiable escape pods.
(Aeris and Gotens look at eachother)
Gotens: Beam us to the Shuttle Bay!
(A support beam falls behind them. Aeris nods and activates the transporter. Meanwhile, out in space, escape pods are evacuating the Xena. The huge grey space ship starts shooting out a whole bunch of tiny tractor beams onto each escape pod that tries to get away. The Xena shakes violently as a runabout escapes from it. The huge grey ship locks a big tractor beam onto the Xena, and the Xena stops shaking. Aeris and Gotens work the controls on the runabout)
Gotens: They've locked a tractor beam on us too.
Aeris: Can you escape it?
Gotens: I am attempting to do so...
Aeris(looks out the window at her ship being towed): It didn't explode.
Gotens(preoccupied with the controls): Huh? What? --There! We're free! ...Setting course for the nearest Federation Outpost --Which is.... Starbase 55.
Aeris: Starbase 55? ...Figures.
(The runabout accelerates into warp.)
Avery: I don't care what he says!! You have my orders, and I'm ordering you to keep it up!!
(Avery yells at Steve, in Admiral Theseus' office, on Starbase 55)
Steve: Commander, I out rank you. You cannot give me orders to do that kind of sick thing.
Avery: I am Acting Super-Admiral, and I didn't mean that!! Now do that other thing you're supposed to be doing!!
Steve(stands up straight): Yes Superman! --I mean, Admiral.
Alesha(walks in): Superguy, some people are here to see you.
(Gotens and Aeris walk in)
Avery: Leave us.
(Steve and Alesha leave)
Avery: So, we meet again.
Aeris: I've never met you before.
Avery: I'm talking to Gotens!
Gotens: Avery! You don't have authority! Admiral Theseus doesn't even know what you did to the Phoenix-X!!
Avery(gasps): How'd you know--I mean, hah! You're delerious!
Gotens: Oh, drop the act, Avery. Where is Admiral Theseus? Once I get to him, you're history!
Avery: Uh, I don't even like history!
Aeris: Well, where's Theseus?
(Avery walks over to the viewscreen and accesses long range sensors)
Avery: The Manila is here, in Sector 34. They've been giving me orders to leave them alone there.
Aeris: Are these's sensors accurate?
Avery: Yes. What do you think this is, computer animation?
Aeris: Where's the huge grey ship, then? It should be in Sector 21.
Avery(looks at the screen): There is no huge ship in Sector 21. Just the Xena.
(Aeris and Gotens glance at eachother)
Avery: No glancing!
(Gotens accesses communication. Steve bursts into the room)
Gotens: The Xena is telling us that there is no problems.
Aeris: That's impossible.
Steve: Superdude! The Changelings have found a way to resist us! --They've countered the phrase, "Resistance is futile!!"
Avery: Oh man, that was such a catchy phrase, too.
Gotens(turns around): Changelings?
Steve: --Uhhh, did I say Changelings? I meant... Lemmings.
Avery: Steve, you idiot!! Activate plan B! Exterminate them!!
(Steve runs off. Gotens chases after him. Aeris goes to the control panel. Avery slowly sneaks away)
Avery: Sneak, sneak, sneak...
(Gotens chases Steve while they both have a phaser fight. Steve runs into the turbolift and goes down. Gotens cuts a hole in the doors and jumps into the turbolift verticle tube. He falls and falls and lands on top of the turbolift. He cuts through and jumps inside. Steve runs out into the hallway as the turbolift stops, Gotens chases after.)
Gotens(fires the phaser): You won't get away that easily!!
Steve(runs and fires back): Yes I will!! Hahahhaa!
(The huge doors at the end of the hall open. Gotens fires at Steve and hits him. Steve falls down)
Gotens(runs into the labratory): Captian?
(He approaches two canisters on the desk and opens them. Shane and Daniel pour out and slowly take thier humaniod shapes)
Shane: Ugh. My head hurts...
Daniel(rubbing his neck): Ugh... Then why did you shapeshift it on?
Gotens: Daniel!! Where have you been the past two months!?
Daniel: In this labratory while Dr. Steve did experiments on us. We couldn't escape, they found a way to hold us in a liquid state.
Shane: And if that wasn't enough, they found a way to control what shape we turn into. Stupid Federation!
Daniel: They're mad I tell you! Mad!!!
Gotens: Well, you gotta admit, if they didn't do those experiments they would've never found a way to harness your changeling protoplasum...
Daniel: Uh! Who's side are you on!?
Gotens: Alright, alright. We gotta get outta here.
(Daniel, Shane and Gotens enter Admiral Theseus' office)
Gotens: Where's Avery?
Shane: Yeah, so I can give him a piece of my mind!! --Well, not literaly, because it's just gew; and who'd want gew?
Daniel: I'd want gew.
Aeris: Avery ran away.
Daniel: What's going on?
Aeris: Avery falsely took away the Phoenix-X and dismantled it. And we can't contact the Manila to talk to Admiral Theseus.
Daniel: If he can't come to us, then we'll go to him. Captian Aeris, ready a ship.
Aeris: There aren't any ships here, just runabouts.
Daniel: Oh man, I hate those things. Fine, ready a runabout. You three are with me.
(The runabout leaves Starbase 55 and accelerates into warp)
Daniel(reading the panel): The Manila is responding to hails, but they are saying to stay away.
Aeris(at another panel): That's exactly what the Xena is saying right now. But that's impossible because it was under attack by some aliens. They killed my whole crew.
Shane: ...Then don't you think that the same thing happened to the Manila?
Daniel: It is a possibility.
Gotens(walks up to them): Change course. Head for Bolian Outpost 3.
Daniel: Excuse me, but who outranks who here?
(They all look at Shane)
Shane: Oh wait--you all outrank me. Heck, I'm not even in Starfleet.
Gotens: There's no time to explain. Just trust me.
Daniel: I dunno...
Aeris: I trust him, I say we go to Bolian Outpost 3.
Daniel: Excuse me, but you do not give me orders.
Aeris: You don't give me orders either.
Shane: Alright, alright! There's only one way to settle this... Rock, Paper, Scissors.
(Aeris and Daniel shake thier fists. Daniel shapeshifts his hand into scissors. Aeris holds a fist.)
Aeris: I win.
Daniel: But I actually have scissors. You just have a fist.
(The runabout approaches a big alien station. Other ships casualy leave and dock the Outpost. The runabout docks. The four walk inside and make thier way through the halls and turbolifts to the club. The four approach a closed door and a tall guy standing infront of it)
Daniel: We don't know the password.
Gohan: No password, no get in.
Gotens(searches his pockets): I have a slip of latinum and some holo-change on me... --oh right, the holo-money just disappears once we leave the ship, doesn't it?
Gohan: No bribes. Just password.
Shane: Is it Tree?
Aeris: Is it Sun?
Daniel: Is it House?
Gotens: Is it Hypoglycerativepotenuse?
Gohan: That was last week's. Close enough.
(Gohan lets them in. The club is busy, full of dangerous people.)
Shane: Man, what a dump. Don't touch anything, eeuu.
(Two guys, beating eachother up, roll by)
Grunt: Hey!! What's with the uniforms?
(A tough guy, with his friends to back him up, approach them)
Aeris: Uhh...we're Federation officers.
Grunt: Officer's, eh? To be an officer, it sounds like you have to enforce some kind of law. Have you come to enforce some kind of law on us?
Daniel: No! Get out our face!
Grunt(steps up to Daniel): Now, I don't like the tone you're using there.
(Gotens reaches for his phaser, but Daniel signals to stop)
Grunt: Maybe I should just clean the floors with you, like I did with the last guy to come in here with a uniform like that.
(Daniel shapeshifts into a bigger, taller, and scarier dragon. He blows fire onto Grunt's head, and Grunt starts running around in circles)
Daniel(reverts): Heh, heh.
(The four approach the bar.)
BOB(behind the bar): Guys! Follow me.
Aeris: What's going on?
(He leads them into the back room. It's small, and Captian Cid is lying on a bed, unconscious.)
Gotens(takes sensor readings with a tri-quarter): He's still alive. You can revive him with a standard hypo-spray.
Aeris(gives him the hypo): I see that Cid had his run-in with the big ugly guy.
BOB(looks over at Shane and the back at Aeris): Oh, you mean Grunt? Yeah. He's trouble. But I'd watch your backs, he's one for revenge.
Cid(waking up): Ugh. Uhhh....
Daniel: Captian, what's going on? Why are you here?
Cid(faint): We were---under attack-- I escaped on shuttle....
Aeris: Under attack by who?
Cid(starts feeling better): Uhh... I'm not sure. It could've been anyone--anyone! Well, except the puny Ferengi's.
Gotens: Captian, did you give Avery permission to dismantle the Phoenix-X?
Cid(sits up): Dismantle the Phoenix-X....? No.
(There's some rummaging sounds in the background)
BOB: You guys better be careful. There's a couple thieves on the station that we haven't been able to catch. They already stole Cid's shuttle.
Gotens: Captian, if you didn't give him permission, then how did he get your signature?
Cid: That's a long story. You see, I've been working a lot with Admiral Theseus on Starbase 55.
Shane: Ooo, a personal relationship.
Cid: ...And I have neglected my orders from higher commands, to command the Manila. For the past 2 years, it has been Commander Avery who carried the burden of flying that ship around the quadrant doing Starfleet's every little errand; and he hated me for it. I hadn't known his feelings until he approached me at the reception. At that time, Admiral Theseus had ordered me to inspect the Phoenix-X. And so, feeling that I had to make it up to Avery, I gave him the job of inspecting the Phoenix-X; you know, kinda like a test, or experiment to see if he was good enough for the job. Little had I known at the time that he knew nothing of its qualities.
BOB: Zzzzzzzzzz..... --Oh, the story is over. Well, at least it wasn't a flash back this time.
(He walks away)
Cid: Stupid big eared Ferengi.
*BOB: I heard that!
Daniel: Oh, jee, thanks, Cid. Now I don't have a ship.
Cid: Oh, we'll get you another one. With a cooler name. How about, Platinum Plus?
Daniel: No! That sounds like a record company.
Shane(accesses a small control panel on the wall): Hey! Our runabout is being hijiacked!
Aeris: What? Shane, come with me.
(The two leave the room, and the club. Gotens, Daniel, and Cid walk out to the bar)
Gotens: Should we go with them?
Daniel: No. Wait here, I'll go fix things with my morphing powers.
Gotens: He always thinks he can fix things with his morphing powers.
(BOB is talking to another Ferengi at the bar. Gotens walks over to them)
Aeris: Stop right there.
(Two guys are at the controls of the runabout, just as Aeris and Shane walk in)
Grunt: Oh darn.
Daniel(runs in): So you're the guy behind all the thevory!
Grunt: Yeah, it's me. It's a good buisness, you know.
Levis: It's actually a family business.
(Levis puts a forcefield around the three)
(Cid walks in)
Shane: Hey, Cid, get us outta here!
Cid: Out of where?
Aeris: We're in a forcefield, can't you see!?
Cid: No. Forcefields are invisible, aren't they?
(Levis puts a forcefield around Cid)
Shane: Oh--waytago, Cid. Let's just have a conversation in front of the bad guys.
Grunt: Come on, let's get outta here.
Levis: Hold on, I'm trying to figure these controls out.
Cid(glances at Daniel): ...What about Pandemonian?
BOB: Night! Come here, quick!
(Gotens takes a seat beside the other Fereng at the bar)
Gotens: Yawn. So what's up with you guys?
BOB: Zel, here, is a garbage collector.
Gotens(moves back): Eeuu.
BOB: He says he saw the Phoenix-X at a Federation Junkyard.
Gotens: In tact?
Gotens: But it was dismantled.
(The station shakes)
BOB: What was that!?
Zel: Sorry, you fart a lot in this business.
(The station shakes again. Gotens runs into the room and checks the sensors)
Gotens: We're under attack by the same aliens who got the Xena.
(The huge grey ship fires on the station. The top of the station explodes. All the ships in the place scatter to evacute. The Federation runabout gets going in the mists of all the traffic. Suddenly, the huge grey ship locks a tractor beam on the runabout and pulls them in. The parts of the Bolian Outpost begin to blow up. Meanwhile, in the bar...)
BOB: Oh my gosh, we have to get out of here!
Gotens: Well, duh.
Zel: Come on, we'll take my ship.
Gotens: Eeuu. Do we have to?
(A hatch opens on the huge grey ship and the runabout is towed in. All the ships have gone, except Zel's freightor, parked at the bottom of the station. The station blows up from the top to the bottom. The freightor powers up engines and departs just in time. The blow of the station debris, in an effect, rumbles the freightor. The freightor speeds up and goes into warp.)
Gotens: Go back! The runabout is still there!!
Zel: The runabout is gone and your friends are dead.
Gotens: Uh. Well that's pretty harsh, Zel.
Zel: It's okay, I'll make it up to you by bringing you to the Federation Junkyard I was at.
Zel: --Ahead warp 12!
BOB: Who you talking to, Zel?
Zel: I always talk to myself.
Gotens: Oh my God, you have warp 12?
Zel: Yeah, it's amazing what you can do when you combine Starfleet, Klingon, Dominion, Gordarion, Ferengi, and Vulcan technologies together.
BOB: You combined all those technologies into your warp drive!?
Zel: No. Hahaha! I just think it'd be amazing if someone could do that.
(The freightor decsends warp. It approaches an area of the Sector filled with space junk, floating around. The Freightor passes a few Federation ships torn apart.)
Gotens: Where is it?
Zel: Well, it was here the last time I saw it. --I'm not a liar!! You're planning to kill me... aren't you? --Aren't you!?
Gotens(shrugs): The thought had crossed my mind.
Zel: Ahh!! Okay, I'll take you to the station!
(The freightor turns left and goes towards the Federation Dismanting Station, in the midsts of ship debree. The Phoenix-X is docked there.)
Gotens: There it is! It's still in perfect condition! --If you don't count the graffiti on the front of it.
(The freightor rumbles as a runabout passes over them)
*Avery: Ferengi Freightor, you do not have authorization to be here. ...Leave immediately, or I will cook two dozen little bunnies and have them for dinner!! Hahaha!!
Gotens: Avery, you coward!
*Avery: I'm not a coward!
(He speeds up the runabout and docks inside the Phoenix-X, smashing into a whole bunch of crates full of yak cheese. The Ferengi freightor just floats out there in space)
Zel: Do you want me to do the same thing?
Gotens: Eeu, no. I'll just beam in.
Zel: Oh, come on. I really want to smash some yak cheese.
(Commander Gotens beams into the hallway infront of the shuttle bay entrance. Avery walks out, preoccupied with fixing a small flat device)
Gotens: Avery! --What are you doing?
(Avery looks up and then runs a safe distance from him)
Gotens: It's too late for you, Avery. You can't dismantle the Phoenix-X now! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! ...Well, unless you activate the self destruct sequence.
Gotens: I probably shouldn't have said that.
(Avery places the small flat device on the side of his forehead)
Avery: I meant to do dismantle the Phoenix-X earlier, but I installed a pool table into the new dance club on the Starbase and I got realy addicted...
Avery: ...to the drinks at the bar...
Gotens: Aha! Now I know your weakness.
(He accesses a control panel next to him and replicates a shot glass with liquor in it)
Gotens: Wanna drink?
(Avery fights his urge and accesses a control panel next to him. Two wolves, with fire on thier backs, suddenly appear by his side.)
Avery: Sick 'em, boys.
Wolf1: Uh! And ruin my pedicure?
Avery: Just do it!! --Nike.
(The two wolves run towards Gotens, spitting clumps of fire at him. He dodges the fire as one of the wolves leap and tackle him to the floor. He smacks the wolf accross the face; throws it off him; gets up and fires his phaser at the wolves. The wolves disapear)
Gotens: Nice try, Avery. But holograms don't scare me. Heh, heh.
(Avery just stands there, as a huge Ogre appears beside him)
Gotens(smells the air): Eeuu, holographic odours.
(The Ogre attacks. Gotens phasers the Ogre. The Ogre dissapears)
Gotens: Nice second try, Avery. --How did you do that without accessing the control panel?
(Avery runs away. Hundreds of mythilogical creatures suddenly appear in the hallway)
Gotens(starts shooting his targets): It must be the device on his temple...
Avery(running away): Computer, activate self destruct sequence. Authorization code, Avery-3-Delta-5.
(A holographic Admiral Theseus appears beside him)
Theseus: Computer, authorization code, Theseus-10-Omega-6.
(A holographic Admiral Cloud appears on the other side of him)
Cloud: Computer, authorization code, Cloud-2-Alpha-94.
(The two holograms disappear, and red alert goes on all over the ship)
*Computer: Warning, self destruct in 2 minutes, 30 seconds.
Gotens(taps his comm badge): Avery, what do you hope to accomplish with all of this? Your career is already ruined.
(A shadow creature scatters all around him. Gotens grabs the shadow. The shadow creature squirms and tries fluttering away.)
*Avery(on the comm): You! You ruined my career!! If I go, I take your precious ship with me!!
(He slams the shadow creature into the wall, and it dissapears.)
Gotens: Well, you tried ruining my career first. You did this to yourself, Avery! I had no hostile intentions!!
(A whole bunch of short little nomes run up to Gotens. They kick him in the shins and cling onto his feet.)
*Avery: Ha! You lie! You can't be threatened and not have any hate for me! Hahahaha!!
(He flings the nomes off him. They smack into the walls and disappear)
Gotens: But, I really don't have hate! It's a moral I've learned to take up through the many life times I've had as Trill.
(A tall cybernetic droid approaches him, aims its gun arm at him, and fires scattered lazer beams at him. He dodges them and fires back)
*Avery: Ha! You are lying to yourself! Hahahaha! I hate every person who defies me. You cannot tell me that you didn't try to get revenge on me when I was inspecting the ship!
(The cybernetic droid loads up his weapon and fires a huge blast. Gotens dives out of the way, rolls, and phasers the droid. It disappears)
(A huge green blob slides up to him and engulfs him. He struggles to get free. He sticks his arm and head out to gasp for air and cling onto the floor)
*Avery: Come on, Commander, admit it.
(He gets tackled by a big hairy monster. He reaches for his phaser, and fires a spread, vapourizing the hairy monster and the blob. He sits in exhaustion)
Gotens: ...Okay. I admit it. I tried to experiment with your rage when you were on the ship before.
*Computer: Warning, self destruct in 20 seconds.
Gotens: Computer, cancel self destruct sequence, Gotens-5-Alpha-82.
(Avery sits in the Captians chair, on the Bridge of the Phoenix-X docked at the Dismantiling Station. Red alert suddenly goes off.)
Avery(stands up): No!!
Gotens(enters the Bridge): It's over, Avery. No more little bunnies for you...
Avery: I still have some tricks up my sleeve!
(Two fat poison spewing aliens appear beside Avery. They aim for Gotens and start spitting lengths of poison at him. Gotens dodges them and he runs towards Avery)
Avery: Ahh!! No dodging!
(Commander Gotens leaps, over some airborn poison, and tackles Avery to the floor. The flat device falls off Avery's temple; and the holographic poison creatures disappear)
Avery: Argghh. Stupid device! --Oh well, it's got marketing possibilities.
(Gotens puts the device on his own temple)
(Gotens makes two Klingon's appear. They apprehend Avery. BOB and Zel enter the Bridge)
Avery: Consornit! Another abolical plan diabolished!
Gotens: Hey, cool. So whatever I think of, will appear as a hologram?
(He makes Cartman from South Park appear)
Cartman: What is this crap!? Respect ma authorata!!
Avery: Hey! Don't abuse the device!!
(Later, in space... The Phoenix-X approaches a small round probe)
Gotens: Well here it is; the probe that's claiming to be the Manila and giving subspace messages to Starfleet that they're okay.
(He clicks on the audio)
*(Voice of Theseus): ...Well here we are. We are the probe that's claiming to be the Manlia and we are sending this subspace message to Starfleet that we're okay...
(He clicks it off)
BOB: Well, they seem to be okay.
Gotens(ponders): No! These aliens must be abducting ships and thier crews to bring back to thier leader--most likely, a big giant head. Zel, do you recognize this technology?
Zel: Yes. I do... a little too well. It all start back in the days of the original Star Trek serie--
Gotens: Just tell us where we can find these people.
Zel: Oh, Sector 234.
BOB: Are you crazy!? They killed Captian's Daniel, Aeris, and Cid. --And that other guy, I forget who he is.
Gotens(stares at the probe): Oh, they're alive... I know it... I even assume it...
Gotens: --Holographic BOB, take the Helm!
BOB: Hey! Why do you need a hologram of me!?
Gotens: Because you're useless.
BOB: Oh yeah.
(The Phoenix-X flies towards an enormous space city. The place looks inactive with no commercial ships flying around. There are a couple of the big grey ships docked at some of the structures. Meanwhile, on the Bridge....)
Gotens: No one seems to be home. Looks like it's smooth sailing from here on...
(Suddenly the ship jolts)
Zel(behind sensors): They've locked multiple tractor beams on us.
Gotens: Return the favor!
Zel: --Why? We'll just be more stuck to them.
Gotens: Good point. Belay that order.
(A whole bunch of those aliens beam onto the Bridge. Commander Gotens recognizes them)
Gotens: The Gordarions!!
Avery: Hurry, Commander! Conjure up an army of holographic demons using that device on your temple!
Gotens(concentrates): Ergh-- Can't-- think-- of-- anything--!!
(One of the Gordarions walk over and take the device off of Gotens's temple.)
Gotens: You bastard!
(Hundreds of Federation Officers are standing around in a big confined room)
Aeris(walks over to Cid): Okay, simulation; the crews of your ship and mine are being contained in a big chamber; every once in a while, a couple Gordarions will come in here and take a couple Federation Officers with them. What do we do!?
Ensign Dan: Hey! That's the exact same situation we're in.
Cid: Be quiet Ensign, you're relieved. --Has anyone seen Admiral Theseus?
Ensign Dan: I heard he was the first person they took. They were gonna take me, but I kept getting rejected.
Shane: Haha, reject.
Daniel: They must be trying to extract valuable Federation information from us. --They're going to invade the Federation, and we're the only hope left...
(They pause to ponder that thought)
Cid: Nah. --So, how would Diablos sound for a new ship name?
(The doors open; Commander Gotens, Zel and BOB are shoved in. A Gordarion walks in and grabs Daniel and Shane by the shoulders)
(The Gordarion): Come with me if you want to live.
Shane: But we're already alive.
(The Gordarion): --Oh... Come with me anyway.
Daniel: No! You can't make us!
(The bell rings and feeding time for the prisoners commences. Everyone pushes to get to the Gordarion replicators)
Ensign Dan: Yayy!! Jello!!
Daniel: Aahh!! Alright, we'll go.
(Gotens and the two Ferengi's approach the two remaining Captians as Daniel and Shane are escorted out)
BOB: What's going on?
Cid: The Gordarions are extracting information on Federation codes and weaknesses from the people that they take. No doubt they're using every torchure possible. I heard they're showing re-runs of Sliders!
Gotens: And to think we held a reception party for them.
Zel: I can call my ship and fly it over here, using this.
(He takes out a Playalien Magazine)
Zel: Oops, wrong pocket.
(He takes out a remote control)
Cid: Who are you and why do you smell so much?
Zel: I am Zel and I shower with garbage daily.
Gotens(takes the remote control): Yoink! Now. The next person to be taken away will have to use this; beat up the escorts; tell Zel's ship to park at the nearest airlock; and then fly it to safety!
Cid(steals the remote control back): No! Fly it over this space structure, blast a hole in it, and beam us all away!
Gotens(steals it back): That's a good idea; I guess that's why they call you Captian.
Aeris: Hey! I'm a Captian too!
Gotens: Yeah but you're just my girlfriend.
(A Gordarion bursts into the room.)
(The Gordarion): Next person, any volunteers?
Gotens(puts the remote in his pocket): I volunteer.
(The Gordarion eyes him): ...Why? You're not planning to escape using some remote control that calls your ship over here, are you?
Gotens: Ye--I mean, no.
(The Gordarion): Oh, okay. Come with me, then.
(The Gordarion escorts Gotens down a hallway.)
Gotens: Don't you think that it's cool that I've been in all the scenes recently?
(Gordarion): Shut up!
(Gordarion): --You're not going to hit me are you? --I have a pain stick!
(He holds out a long staff)
Gotens: --What? No.
Gotens: Well, okay.
(Gotens grabs the Gordarion around the neck; pulls the Gordarion's back over his knee; and whams the Gordarion's transparent head onto the floor. The Gordarion is unconscious)
Gotens: Gotta give him credit for expecting that. --Eeuu, transparent forehead.
(Gotens picks up the Gordarion's metallic pain stick and starts searching rooms. He enters a room and sees a Gordarion advancing on a Federation officer)
Gotens: Walace?! Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were busy.
Walace: No, Commander, help! He's going to touch me in my special area!!
(The Gordarion turns around to see Gotens): Grrr!! ...Growl!! ....And other such wierd sounds!
(Gotens spins the staff and smacks the Gordarion accross his transparent face. He falls down)
Gotens: What's going on?
Walace: I swear it was nothing sexual. They just put me in here.
Gotens(looks around the room): This place doesn't look like an interrogation room... more like a medical room...
Walace(grabs Gotens by the shoulder): Come with me if you want someone else to live.
(Walace drags Gotens out of the room, through the hallway, into a similar small room. A Gordarion is picking out medical equiptment on a tray and is about to do another operation on the Federation officer in the chair)
Walace: I heard screaming coming from this room earlier.
(Gordarion): Hey! What are you doing in here!?
Theseus(screams like a girl): Aaahh!!!
Gotens(knocks the Gordarion unconscious): Admiral Theseus! Are you alright!?
(Admiral Theseus's face has been physically altered--bubbles on his cheek; one eye missing and healed over with skin; one nostrol bigger than the other)
Walace: Oh God! I think I'm gonna be sick.
Gotens: It's okay Admiral, there are amazing advances in cosmetic surgury. We'll have you back into your female form in no time.
Theseus: I'm not a girl, you bumbling bafoon!! Who are you!?
Gotens(stands up heroically): Me? Why, I'm the hero.
Theseus: I mean what ship and rank!
Gotens: Oh. Commander and First Officer; USS Xena. But I used to be on the Phoenix-X.
Walace: Let's get outta here, before people start thinkin "manage-eh'toi".
Theseus: I need some assistance. My legs feel almost paralized.
(Walace and Gotens puts Theseus' arms around thier necks and help him out. They enter the empty hallway.)
Theseus: Commander, there is something I have to tell yo--
Gotens(takes out the remote with his other hand): Save it. This thing is just like that old show with the talking car.
(In the shuttle bay of the Phoenix-X, the small Ferengi freightor recieves the signal.)
Ferengi Freightor: I am on my way, Zel.
(It hovers and breaks through the shuttle bay doors, out into the space city)
(Kayl walks down the hallway, pushing past Gotens, Walace and Theseus. She continues on)
Gotens: Hey! What's she doing here!? She's supposed to be on the Enterprise with the bald Captian.
Walace: Maybe they have club membership here.
(Gordarion #1): Hey!!
(They turn around to see three Gordarion guards; they fire a whole bunch of phaser blasts. Gotens gives Theseus to Walace and instinctively spins the metallic pain stick to hit the phaser blasts in mid air. The pain stick absorbs the phaser blasts. The group of Gordarions stop in thier tracks)
(Gordarion #1): Hey! I didn't know those things could do that!!
(Gordarion #2): Don't look at me, weapons aren't my department.
(Gordarion #3): It's my department, and I'll thank you to keep your criticisms to yourself, Mr. a-hundred-tractorbeams-per-ship!
(Gordarion #1): Hey! How was I supposed to know that the gravaton radiation would make our heads transparent!?
(Gotens and Walace drag Theseus away, while the Gordarions are arguing. They make it to the end of the corridor, where they see Kayl walk through some big doors. The two drag the Admiral, and follow her into this other big room; the throne room. The Gordarion king sits way up at the end of a big flight of steps in his chair. Kayl stands by his side)
Gordan(stands): I am the King of the Gordarions. You three have the honour of being my first test subjects of Experiment Number Two.
(Gotens, Walace, and Theseus glance at eachother)
Gotens: Experiment Number Two?
(Avery, Daniel, and Shane emerge from the shadows, beside the King. Avery is wearing the small device on his temple; it's operating at accurate parameters)
(Expressionless, Shane and Daniel leap from the alter onto floor level.)
Gotens: Damn! These two changelings are under Avery's control. It's that chip thing on his temple!
Avery: Very good guess, Commander.
(Gotens and Walace put down Theseus, against the wall.)
Walace(steps up to Shane): Alright, I can take you on. I have been trained in various arts of combat...
(Shane liqufies and shoots towards Walace. Walace flips over the liquid as it splatters against the wall)
Gotens: If this is Experiment Number Two, then what was Experiment Number One?
(Daniel's arms form into long metallic spikes. He jabs forward; Gotens deflects with the staff; he swings; Gotens blocks with the staff; he swings again; Gotens stops it with the staff again, pushes the spike back, and whacks Daniel accross the face with the staff. Daniel's face splashes and then shapes back to normal)
Gordan: Experiment Number One is right behind you.
(Gotens looks back and sees the deformation of Admiral Theseus)
Gordan: Fifteen years ago, I stumbled onto a wormhole and it brought me here, to this quadrant of the galaxy...
(Shane leaps infront of Walace and does multiple kicks into his chest)
Gordan(motions to his left): ...Kayl was, at the time, doing a survey on it. I beamed her aboard my ship and did the first thing our people does when we meet a new species--we experimented on her brain to see how it worked differently from ours.
(Daniel liquifies and a long strand of him circles around Gotens. His head transforms into a venemous snake's head)
Gordan: ...We accidentally stumbled onto a nonactive part of her brain and in curiosity, we activated it.
(Gotens shocks Daniel with the pain stick. Daniel splashes all over the floor)
Gordan: ...This gave her, as she put it, double telepathic powers.
(Walace runs, leaps, and drops kicks Shane. Shane counters by liquifying and engulfing Walace's body)
Gordan: ...Not only could she temporarily activate other people's inactive brain function to communicate with them, but as Gordarions with superior telepthic capabilities, we could control her and her memories.
(Gotens jabs his weapon forward at Daniel's chest; Daniel multiplies his upper body and dodges to each side)
Gordan: ...Three months ago, we stationed a couple city structures here to set up labratories and sharade the Federation. Two months ago, we joined the Federation. A week later we invited the Admiral and his crew to visit us.
(The Shane blob chaotically struggles to keep still as Walace is sufficating inside)
Gordan: ...We abducted them and started tests immediately. The tests failed and every single person we worked on, mutated because of our advanced radioactive tools being placed on the brain. Yesterday, I sent out another ship to get the Xena. I thought perhaps a fresh set of people with positive minds would have better results.
(Daniel jumps vertically up and kick's Gotens across the face. Gotens goes flying, and stumbles on the floor)
Gordan: ...We wanted to help you all by activating the dormant telepathic area of the brain. I believe no one should suffer...
(Walace's hand breaks through the Shane blob; he sticks his head out to gasp for air. Shane closes the hole on him. Gotens gets up, runs over, leaps ontop and shocks Shane. Shane splashes all over the floor)
Gotens(helps Walace up and looks over to the throne): If you had so many good intentions, then why are you attacking us now?
(Shane takes shape beside Daniel. They advance on Gotens and Walace)
Gordan: You are preventing us from further research; the penalty is death.
(Gotens and Walace glance at eachother in shock. Avery clenches his fist. Daniel and Shane, with the same expressions as Avery on thier faces, shapeshift thier arms, and an extra pair of arms, into long leathal whips)
Gotens(looks back at the throne): I can't belive this. All experimentation is bad! I'm going to stop you....both of you...
(Gotens runs; Daniel chases after, and flings an arm at his shins; Gotens leaps over it and lands onto a step. Daniel flings another arm; it wraps around Gotens's left arm; Gotens pulls Daniel towards him; Daniel flings another whip and it wraps around Gotens's other arm; Gotens drops the pain stick upon the staircase. Shane walks over aside Daniel and slacks his arm back, about to fling another whip. Armond goes behind Shane; grabs Shane's arm; stretches it; flings it around Daniel's neck and pulls tightly. Daniel releases Gotens and flings all whips onto Armond. Gotens turns around to the throne. Gordan stands. Gotens picks up the pain stick and tosses it. It soars and hits Avery's temple, on the chip. The electricity flows into Avery's brain as the chip shorts out. Daniel and Shane's bodies warp. Avery colapses. Daniel and Shane are back to normal)
*Gordarion Computer: Warning, self destruct of this section in 15 minutes.
(Gordan looks around and sees Admiral Theseus reaching the control panel on the wall above him)
Gotens(tosses him the remote): Captian, find the nearest airlock. You have to evacuate everyone!
(Shane picks up Theseus. They follow Daniel and Walace to the hallway)
Gotens(looks back to the throne): Kayl, let's go!
Gordan: She does not want to go, Commander.
(Kayl, expressionelss, shakes her head, "no")
Gotens(runs up to her): Let's go, Lieutenant, that's an order!!
(Kayl pushes him away. Pause. Hopeless, Gotens turns around and runs away)
(The Ferengi Freightor undocks the Gordarion airlock. Daniel and Walace opperate the controls)
Walace: Okay, this thing is as small as a shuttle. I don't see how we're supposed to beam two thousand people onto it.
Shane: It's easy. Everyone will just have to liquify.
Daniel: Shane, we're the only Changelings here. Everyone else is a solid.
Shane(shocked): Oh my gosh. I thought everyone was a changeling!
(He turns around to Theseus)
Shane: Come on, turn into a festive puppy.
Shane(wines): Come on, do it.
Shane(wines annoyingly): Come on!
(The freightor flies through the space city)
Theseus: I'm not a--hey, waitaminute. Who are you? Daniel, you have some explaining to do.
Daniel: Well...uhhh--hey! The Xena!
(The Xena is docked at another Gordarion Structure.)
(Gotens runs into a bunch of Gordarions)
(Gordarion #1): Hey! A Federalli!!
(Gordarion #2): I can see that, Gordarion Number 1.
Gotens: Don't you guys have real names?
(Gordarion #3): No! Our whole species is named after King Gordan!!
Gotens: Would you let me go if I named you?
(Gordarion #2): ...Well...
Gotens: Okay, your name is Goku; yours is Piccolo and yours is Krillin. Now, take me to the big room.
Krillin: Hey! That name mocks my bald head!! You're going to the big room for this!
Piccolo: Jeez, this is even worse than the time we tried to figure out what power levels were.
(The Xena flies over to the main structure. Everyone from the Ferengi freightor goes to the Bridge)
Walace: Hey, where's Admiral Theseus?
Shane: Oh, I left him on the freightor. If he wants to be here, he'll shapeshift himself some new legs.
Daniel: What!? Arggh. You guys start the evacuation procedure, I'll go get him.
Shane(approaches a control panel): Aye sir! ...Now, let's see which button is fire...
Walace(smacks him): Hey! Don't touch that! --Only I may press fire.
(The Xena fires a hole at the Main Structure into the big room. All the Federation Officers in the big room look up at the Xena. People are suddenly beamed out one by one. Three Gordarions walk into the big room with Gotens)
Piccolo: Oh no! A hole in the cieling! We're all gonna sufficate!!
Goku: No, you idiot! Backup environmental forcefields are up. That was your department, remember!?
Aeris(runs up to Gotens): Hey! What happened!?
Gotens: ...Well it all started when I entered Trill puberty. I was a young lad, full of hopes and jo--
Krillin: HEY!! The Federations are escaping!
*Gordarion Computer: Warning, self destruct of this section in 13 minutes.
(The Ferengi freightor leaves the Xena and starts roaming through the Gordarion Space City. Admiral Theseus is at the controls. Daniel walks in)
Daniel: Admiral, what are you doing? How did you get to that chair if your legs are paralized?
Theseus: I have to find my ship. I neglected it for 2 years and now I want it back!
Daniel: I neglected Ensign Dan for 2 years and you don't see me wanting him back. Come on, let's get outta here.
Theseus(emotionally): Captian!! I gave you your ship and command!! The least you can do me is let me get my ship back!!!
Daniel(steps back): Whoa, ho, okay. Ya don't hafta bite my protoplasmic head off, jeez. --And you could really use a some facial surgury.
Theseus(points out the window): There it is!
(People in the big room, meanwhile, are being beamed out. Gotens finishes his story to Aeris)
Gotens: ...And that's the story of how Kayl got stuck here and how I lost my virginity.
Aeris: You left her!? I can't believe you are just like the Gordarions!! There's no hope left for you!
(She stomps off, out of the room)
Gotens: What was that supposed to mean? Does it look like I have a transparent head?
Goku: No, but I could arrange it for you.
(The Manila floats over, beside the Xena. Daniel and Theseus are on the bridge)
Daniel(at a panel): I will start beaming your crew aboard.
Theseus: Thank you.
Daniel: --After I beam my crew onto the bridge.
(Gotens and Ensign Dan are beamed onto the bridge)
Daniel: Hm. I guess that's all the people from my crew that were in the room.
Theseus: They're not part of your crew! They're part of the Xena!
Daniel: I know! Can't you see I'm trying to make a point here!? Hint, hint, "give me a new ship!!"
Gotens: New ship? Why don't you just get the Phoenix-X back? It wasn't dismantled.
Daniel: --It wasn't!?
Theseus: It was thought dismantled?
Gotens: No and yes. It's probably here in the city somewhere. I'll take you to it. ...Let's get into the freightor.
(The Ferengi freightor backs up, turns around and heads back into the city for the third time. Suddenly, around the space street corner, a swarm of small Gordarion attack ships come. They open fire on the Ferengi freightor. The freightor shakes)
Gotens: Ahh! They're after us!
Daniel: Well, duh.
Theseus: Go! Manouver, you idiot!!
Gotens: Alright, alright. Keep your bubbled face on.
(The freightor ducks some incoming attack ships and opens fire on them. Two attack ships are hit, crash into eachother, and explode. The explosion clears and they see the Phoenix-X, docked at another Structure)
Gotens: There it is!
Daniel: Well, duh.
Theseus: Go! Beam us into it, you idiot!!
Gotens: Alright, alright. Keep your one eye in its socket.
(Five attack ships come out of nowhere and fire rapidly on the freightor. The Ferengi freightor explodes. Back in the big room, meanwhile, people are being beamed up two by twos and there are only a couple people left)
Krillin(running around in circles): Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do!? I feel so helpless.
Goku: That's cause you have the weakest power level out of all of us.
Cid: How do you think I feel!? I'm the Captian and they haven't beamed me up yet! Who's in command up there!?
(Meanwhile, on the Bridge of the Manila...)
Ensign Dan: Finally, I get to have real command! --You! Scrub the deck! You! Clean your ears!
Lieutenant Joe(walks up to him): Hey, why are you in command? Let me stand there!
Ensign Dan(raises a finger to him): No! Rebellious people like you are a secuirty risk! I'm on to you!
(Someone else walks by)
Ensign Dan: I'm on to you! I'm on to everyone!!
(The Phoenix-X undocks, turns around, and opens fire on the Gordarion attack ships)
Daniel: Finally, I have my ship back!
Theseus(in a chair): Captian...Commander...there is something I have to tell you...
Gotens(at the helm): It's gonna hafta wait, Admiral; it's about 50 to 1 out here.
(Daniel gets behind weapons control. The Phoenix-X fires a photon spread, hitting five ships and skimming one. The one attack ship spins around in circles and smashes into one of the hallway extensions connecting two Gordarion Structures.)
Theseus: It can't wait! It's about the Phoenix-X.
(The explosion follows onto both Structures. The Phoenix-X rumbles from being near the explosions)
Daniel: Shields are down, Commander! Take us outta here, Mark 12-34!! Engage!!
(A piece of debris dents the hull of the Phoenix-X. The dent regenerates)
Theseus: ...It's about your technologies.
Daniel: I already know about my technologies.
Theseus: But not the transwarp engines.
Daniel: What about them?
(The ship shakes)
Theseus: ...I should've told you guys this two years ago. --In the late 23rd Century, Starfleet got a threat from an alien probe that mimicked the sound of the humpback whales. Because there were no humpbacks left on earth, they threatened to evapourate all the Oceans, kill all marine life and destroy the atmosphere. When James T. Kirk went back in time to get these whales, the aliens were satisfied and left Earth. It turns out that when the aliens retired into deep space, they gave the Federation an encryption code.
(The Phoenix-X soars under the exploding structure along the arm of another hallway extension. Explosions follow behind the Pheonix-X.)
Theseus: It took us 84 years to crack this code, we called the X-Project. The code turned out to be schematics of a high powered engine--Ultra-Transwarp! We constructed it and immiediately locked it on a Prometheus class starship. I named it the Phoenix-X; just like how the first warp capable ship was called the Phoenix--
Daniel: This is great to know, Admiral, but we're sort of in a dilemma right now--
(The Phoenix-X stops at another Structure. The ship moves aside and that Structure begins to explode.)
Theseus: The thing I wanted to tell you, is, that less than half of Starfleet knows about the technologies on the Phoenix-X. Oh, they know of the Phoeinx-X. But I have to check the rooms and hallways just to talk about it. Over the years, more and more secrets accumulated on your ship. --It made me a nervous wreck! If Starfleet found out, they'd have my neck and yours. I was thinking about it and I wasn't sure to have your ship dismantled or not; so I sent Captian Cid to evaluate your experimental ship. I gave him full power.
Daniel: Yeah, thanks a lot.
(Gotens taps at the controls and moves the Phoenix-X around the structure and away from the space city)
Gotens: All experiments are bad.
Daniel: Theseus, why didn't you just come to me?
Theseus: I'm sorry.
(The Phoenix-X parks at a safe distance from the space city. They watch as the Gordarion space city slowly blows up, structure by structure)
Daniel: Well, I guess this means I get the Phoenix-X back.
(The Xena and the Manila park safely beside the Phoenix-X)
Theseus(nods): Yup; and your old crew restored.
Daniel: Yes! This is gonna be great. Don't you think, Commander?
(Gotens starts thinking to himself)
Gotens: (...What happened to Aeris?)
*Joe(goes on screen): We got as much people as possible out of there.
Gotens: (...She ran out of the room.... to get...)
*Walace(goes on the other screen): This is everyone here, Admiral. I'm the highest in command on this ship.
Gotens: (...Kayl? What happened to Aeris?)
Daniel: Good work Walace. There's a promotion waiting for you here.
(Gotens hears another voice)
Daniel: That's okay guys. Let's go home and delete these Gordarions from the United of Federation Planets' database.
*(Kayl): (...Help her...)
Gotens: Okay. I know what I have to do.
(Gotens cuts communications and turns the Phoenix-X towards the Gordarion space city)
Daniel: Commander! What are you doing!?
Theseus: Commander, I order you to head for Starbase 55.
(Gotens brings the ship back into the slowly falling apart space city. It passes by a couple exploding Structures and goes deeper into the city. He manouvers blind crashing ships and flying debris. The Phoenix-X approaches the main Structure of the city and beams into the big room through the hole in the cieling)
Gotens: It's me again.
Piccolo: Hey, it's the guy who named us!! Get him!!
Krillin(crosses his arms): No.
Piccolo: Come on, man, get over the fact that my brain is bigger than yours! I only said that because I can see through your head, and when I roll my eyes back I can see my own brain.
Gotens: Eeuu. Can you guys help me get to the throne room?
(In the throne room, two Gordarions apprehend Aeris. King Gordan bangs at a control panel while Kayl approaches Aeris)
*Gordarion Computer: Warning, self destruct of this section in 2 minutes.
Gordan(banging at the control panel): Dammit!! Why can't I cancel the self destruct!? Damn!! ...It!!
(First Gordarion): You know, instead of banging at that computer all this time, you could've escaped.
(Second Gordarion glances at his companion): That's a good idea.
(First Gordarion): Yeah.
(They let go of Aeris and run away)
Aeris: Kayl, don't let him control you!
(On the Phoenix-X...)
Theseus: We can't stay here, the place is about to blow apart!!
Daniel: Well if you wanna leave, then take the helm.
Theseus: Alright then, I will.
(He tries getting up, but his legs are paralized.)
Theseus(reaches out): Arrrrrhhh--!! Arrrrhh--!!
Daniel: You can do it, sir. I believe in you.
(King Gordan turns around and eyes Kayl's prisoner)
Gordan: Oh, yes. I remember you, now.
(He walks down the flight of stairs with his cape dragging behind)
(Kayl jabs Aeris with the pain stick. Aeris crouches in pain)
Gordan: Yes. You were there with Kayl; examining the wormhole...
Aeris: What? I don't remember--
(Kayl jabs Aeris again with the pain stick)
Aeris(falls to the floor): Aaahh!!!
Gordan: You were her Captian back then... I remember. We got to you too. We had control of you too. But you resisted, your mind was powerful. We had stop. Your memories of us were erased. But you were there... and your mind was powerful...
Aeris(tries getting up): Arrghh. I don't--believe--this--
(Kayl jabs her)
Gordan: Oh what I wouldn't give to have control of your mind again...
(Gordan closes his eyes and surpresses his mental strength. He tries and tries. Then, in an outburst, he releases it)
(Kayl colapses. Aeris stands up, expressionless. Gotens runs in.)
Kayl(stands up): Commander!
Gordan(laughs): Heh, heh, hahahahahahaa!!! The power!! The power!!! Finally, all my hard work has paid off!!
Kayl: He has control of Aeris!
Gotens(takes out his phaser): Get ready to die, King of the Gordarions.
(Aeris steps in the way)
Gordan: You'll have to go through her to get to me.
(They hear explosions in the background)
Gotens: The self destruct...
(Gotens and Kayl are suddenly beamed out and onto the bridge of the Phoenix-X)
Daniel: That first explosion broke thier scattering shield, we were free to transport without the hole.
Gotens: We have to go back!!
Daniel: No. It's too late!
(The big grey Gordarion ship undocks the central Structure as it blows up. The Phoenix-X turns around)
Kayl(at sensors): Gordan and Aeris are on that ship.
Daniel(at another sensors): But we can't beam through, thier scattering shield is up.
Theseus: Let's get outta here before we're blocked in by the outter exploding structures!!
(Gotens stands there, helpless. The ship shakes)
Kayl: They're trying to pull us into the structure's explosion with multiple tractor beams, but I can deffuse them with the lightning shield.
(A sudden corona of the lightning shield appears around the Phoenix-X for a second; the tractor beams deffuse. The big grey ship advances on the Phoenix-X)
Kayl: Our shields have weakened. They're locking weapons...
Daniel: I am attempting to arm torpedoes...
Kayl: What about Aeris?
(Gotens walks over to Daniel and taps at the control panel)
Daniel: What are you doing?
Gotens: Trust me.
(The Phoenix-X locks tractor beam onto the big grey ship and pushes it into the exploding Structure, behind it. The big grey ship's shields weaken from the explosions. Gotens beams Aeris onto the bridge; Aeris faints.)
Gotens(runs over to Aeris): Kayl, neutralize her connection to Gordan.
Kayl: But I don't kno--
(The ship shakes. Kayl tries anyway.)
Theseus: We have to get outta here! Everything is blowing up around us!!
Daniel(taps sensors): There's no way out. All the possible exits are blocked with exploding structures!!
(The ship shakes)
Kayl(sits up): I did it!!
Aeris(opens her eyes and sees Gotens): ...Ugh... I'm glad you were there for me at least once...
(She passes out in his arms)
Theseus: What do we do!?!? There's no hope left!!
(A piece of debris smashes into the big grey ship and destroys it)
Kayl(looks up): Can't we just go through?
(Daniel taps the panels)
Daniel: ...Loading Transwarp drive.....online. Engage.
(With the exploding city around, the Phoenix-X stretches and dissappears into transwarp. The Xena and the Manila watch, from a distance, as the city bursts into pieces, structure by structure; and other ships evacuate)
(...A week later, the Phoenix-X is reinstated and the crew is restored. The ship uncloaks and once again docks at Starbase 55. Billy enters Transporter Room 4 and gets behind his work station)
Billy(sigh of relief): Ahhh... I'm back on this here Phoenix-X an' I sprayed this room with air freshener... Ahhh...
Gotens(enters the room): Ensign, beam me into the Phoenix-X's Reception; and make it in front of the desert table again.
Billy: No, not again, sir!? I don't think the Captian would approve of this action.
Daniel(walks in): Ensign, beam me into the Reception; I need to make an entrance.
Billy: No!! There's an airlock on deck 12, people, use it!
(More people start entering the room and piling onto the transporter pads and beaming out)
Daniel(looks over to Gotens): So what ever happened with you and Aeris?
Gotens: Oh, she's back on the Xena. We agreed our fates were of different paths.
Gotens: Well, that, and we can't stand eachother's crews.
Daniel: It's good to be back on the Phoenix-X...
Gotens: Yeah, I guess experimentation isn't all that bad.
Daniel: Waitaminute, what ever happened to Avery?
Gotens: I dunno. The second time I went into the throne room, he wasn't there. Maybe one of the Gordarions took him and is trying to revive him?
Ensign Dan(walks by): Oh yeah, no doubt about it.
Daniel: ...Well, Commander, let's get go home...
Gotens: Okay, sir. Okay, sir, indeed.
(They both leave the transporter room. And somewhere... on some distant Planet, the sun sets in the background...)