26.2.00

Episode 19

Star Trek: Phoenix-X
Fight, Part I

(Daniel takes a seat on an operating bed in sickbay, still overwhelmed with amazement of recent events)
Daniel: ...Whoa, I can't believe I can outlive everyone on this ship.
Shane: But you were already going to outlive everyone on this ship.
Gotens(walks over and picks up a padd): Well, we've completed all the tests and I'm afraid that we've discovered some limitations to your powers...
Daniel: What are they?
Gotens(reads the padd): Well, it turns out that you really don't have any magical powers at all. The whole thing was a big prank that was set up by the crew, using holograms and computer animation.
Daniel: Really?
Gotens(reads the padd): Oh, sorry, this is Crewmen Parker's report.

(He walks over to Crewmen Parker on the other bed)
Gotens: Look Peter, you're not really Spiderman.
Parker: But I am! I am!! I can stick to walls!!
Gotens: No. That was just a camera trick.
Parker(massages his temple): Humm.... my Spidey senses are picking up a great evil...

(Daniel breaks this conversation in anger)
Daniel: --Commander! Where have you been the past hour!? I have already accomplished omni potency and you're still--as they say in England--lollygagging about!!
Gotens: Uh! I'll have you know that I was at the gym with some Klingon friends, practicing fighting skills. --If it's any of your business.
(Daniel makes a hand appear out of thin air and slap Gotens in the face)
Daniel: It is my business! You are supposed to be on the Bridge dealing with the alien vessel that we've encountered.
Gotens: Uh. I hardly think Starfleet's interested in things like that.

(The alien is on screen on the Bridge)
*Klokian: Klokian have unimaginable technology to share with Human if Human want.
Armond(playing Tetris on a gameboy): Huh? Oh man! You just made me mess up!

(Sickbay)
Daniel: That's it!! I've had enough of your laziness!! I'm demoting you! Take off one of your pins.
Gotens: Oh man. Can't someone else do it?
Daniel: I'm demoting you right now and nothing--absolutely nothing is going to inturrup---
(A voice suddenly echos throughout the ship)

*Sonan: <<DANIEL X!! Ha!! Ha!! Ha!! X!! SHOW YOUR PUNY SELF, X!! Why do you hide in such a puny ship!? Ha!! Ha!! Ha!! Ha!! Ha!! Ha!! Ha!!--(cough)--(cough)-->>

(A huge monster guy floats outside in space, in front of the ship. Daniel flashes outside and floats infront of him)
Daniel: Who are you?
Sonan: I am Sonan and I come to challenge you to prove my strength to my nagging wife and macho buddies!
Daniel: What are you?
Sonan: I'm a macho man. --Macho, macho man. I want to be a macho man...

(Sickbay)
Gotens: Oh man, I'm going to be demoted. Why aren't you ever demoted? You never do anything.
Shane(shrugs): I dunno.
(Gotens turns around and bumps into a 4 foot alien creature)
Klokian(holding the metallic sperical chamber that X came from): Oh no! Klokian want use this to capture Q creature outside. But this broken!
Gotens: Oh man. Who could've done such a thing?
Shane(hides his hand behind his back which is still shapeshifted as a latch-opener): I dunno, but I'll find them.
Klokian(starts walking away): Klokian gonna have to take this back to Welding Chamber in castle.
Gotens(runs up to him): Wait! Take me with you! It'll be my last away mission before I get demoted. Besides, Starfleet owns that thing and you need my permission to use it.
Klokian: Klokian care not of your permission.
Gotens: Very well. You have my permission to use it.
(The two leave sickbay)
Shane: Lox, what do you make of that little guy?
Lox: Dammit Shane! I'm a Doctor, not a distinguisher!!

(Daniel and Sonan float in space as the Phoenix-X watches)
Daniel: You have Q powers too, don't you? News about my powers travel fast in the Q world.
Sonan: I heard about it in the Q chat room. Now! Prepare yourself for battle before I destroy your vessel!!
Daniel(cracks his neck): Okay.
(Daniel zooms up and uppercuts Sonan through the chin. Sonan goes flying back)
Sonan: Argh!!
(Sonan zooms over and flows him with punches left and right.)

(Meanwhile... Klokian's small ship powers up and takes off between them. Klokian's ship stretches and disappears in a flash.)

(...It flashes back in again above Earth and takes orbit.)

(Klokian's bridge)
Gotens(looks out the window): What are we doing here?
Klokian: This where welding chamber is. In Castle Graymore.
(A person suddenly appears behind them)
Aries: I knew you'd be back.
Gotens: But you don't even know me.
Aries: I'm talking to the short guy!
Gotens: Oh.
Aries(snaps his finger): This is just a little gift I want you to take back to your Castle.

(Aries disappears. The ship rumbles and takes a nose dive towards Earth. It passes through the clouds, through the sky and slams into the ground, still in one piece. They climb out of the ship and stand in the grassy field of the nice day.)
Gotens: You alright?
Klokian: Klokian never get bruised.
Gotens: Who was that guy?
Klokian: That guy, sub-Q. Have only small fraction of Q power.
Gotens: Where are we? I'll call for a transport.
(He taps his commbadge but gets no response)
Klokian: This place Greece.

(Daniel and Sonan battle it out in front of the Phoenix-X)
Ensign Dan(sitting in the Captian's chair watching and eating popcorn): Wow, this is great. Go Sonan!
Armond: Ensign, you are relieved.

(Daniel and Sonan are breathing heavily from exhaustion)
Daniel(punches him a couple times): There....had....enough...!!?
Sonan(jabs his foot into Daniel's side): Hiya! ....Owe my back...
Daniel(just floats there): Isn't there another way to fight? You know, a special Q way?
Sonan(gets an idea): Power charge!
(He puts his hands in front of him and blasts a chaotic beam of energy at Daniel. Daniel does the same thing back and the two beams of energy meet in the middle. It goes back and forth, fighting for domination)
Sonan: Arrghh!

(Klokian and Gotens walk the grassy fields for hours)
Gotens: ...I'm getting kinda tired. You look strong. Can I sit on your shoulders?
Klokian(points in the direction ahead): Castle Graymore ahead.
(Two people with a horse approach them and join them in thier walk)
Gotens: Who are you and why are you two dressed in second century B.C. clothing?
Xena: This is my armour. Why are you dressed in your pajamas?
Gotens: Oh my gosh. You can tell I sleep in this?
Gabrielle: Klokian, we have to warn you about Artimus' army. We heard they are on sudden alert and will kill you or anyone who looks like you on site.
Gotens: Word travels fast in the land.

Artimus: --Yeah and so do we. ...Xena...
(They are suddenly surrounded by Artimus, the warlord, and ten soldiers of his army)

Gotens: Aaah!
Gabrielle: If you can fight, fight. Otherwise, stand back.

Artimus: ATTACK!!
Xena(pulls out her sword): Be nice.
(Xena hacks her sword accross an attacking soldier. She runs, jumpflips over five soldiers, lands infront of Artimus and holds her sword up to his neck.)
Xena: Who sent you!?
(Gotens, Klokian and Gabrielle fight off the soldiers)
Artimus: Ack--!
Xena(pushes the sword more into his neck): Talk!!
Artimus: Talk to yourself.
Xena(jabs two fingers into a pulse on each side of his neck): I've just cut off the flow of blood to your brain. You'll be dead in 59 seconds unless you tell me who sent you.
Artimus(on his knees as blood drips from his nose): ...Ugh... Aries...

(Daniel and Sonan continue to push thier energy beams back and forth in space)
Daniel(drops the energy beam): Argh. This is going nowhere. A Q can't kill another Q.
Sonan: Sure they can.
Daniel: I don't even have to fight. I can just snap my fingers and you'll be beaten.
(He snaps his fingers... The setting of stars behind them are re-arranged.)
Daniel: Oops.
Sonan: Ha! Ha! Ha! You don't even know how to use your power!
Daniel: I do so. Watch me make a bowl of ice cream appear.
(He snaps and a bowl of grapes appear)
Sonan: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!!
Daniel: Arrgghhh.
Sonan: You are just not snapping at the right frequency.

(Daniel snaps again and the two find themselves on a dusty road on some land)
Daniel: Where are we?
Sonan(looks around): Oh no! What have you done!? You brought us to the Q-Continuim!!
Daniel: Cool.

(Gotens, Klokian, Xena, Gabrielle and the horse approach the doors of the city that surrounds Castle Graymore)
Gotens: You brought us back in time!?!?
Klokian: Yes.
(They walk into the town.)
Gabrielle: I hope Jocser isn't here--
Jocser(walks up to them): Hey!! Gabby, Xena! What's goin' on!
(They pass through the market place)
Klokian: To hide from Q, you must not only go to far off place, but also far off time. Q not think to look here.
Gotens: But why would you hide from the Q?
Klokian: To build weapons. To eliminate all Q.
Xena: You're a rogue hunter?
(Klokian nods as another creature that looks just like him walks up to him and takes the metallic sphere)
Klokian: Fix this.
(The other klokian creature nods in acknoledgement and runs off)
Klokian: Klokian make flash machine from killing one Q and diverting power to machine.
Gotens: Way to be a hypocrite.
(Klokian walks over to a food stand. Another creature like him is standing behind it)
Klokian: Klokian need travel now.
(The creature nods and lets Klokian stand behind the food stand. The other klokian creature comes back with the sphere and gives to to Klokian.)
Klokian: Klokian get Q now.
(He presses a bunch of buttons on a hidden computer and disappears in a flash.)
Gotens: Hey! Wait for me!!
(Gotens is about to use the machine too but more of those klokian creatures come and fight him off)
Gotens: Hey!!
Xena(takes out her sword): Aaahh!!! Little muchkins! Cover your shins and knee caps!!

(More and more Klokian's approach, almost a whole army of them. They fight off the humanoids until they're out of the city)

(Meanwhile, Daniel and Sonan are standing in the dusty road when suddenly a whole bunch of police cars pull up to them)
Q: Alright, stay right there!
Sonan: Aahh!!
Daniel: Oh so that's what you're afriad of. The Q's, eh.
Sonan: Aahh!!
Q(points to Sonan): He's not one of us. He's a creation from our enemies.
Sonan(picks up some sand and throws it in Q's face): Aha!
Q(is blinded): Aahh!!
(Sonan snaps his fingers. Daniel and Sonan appear back in space in front of the Phoeinx-X)

Daniel: Hey!
Sonan: Let's fight again!!

(Klokian appears in a flash on the outter hull of the Phoeinx-X. A Q appears on the bridge)
Armond: Hey! Who are you?
Q: I am the 17th letter of the alphabet. And that Klokian is on your ship.
Armond: Can't you stop him!?
Q: No way. I can't even touch a Klokian without getting the Q disease! I just came here to see what he is doing with our chamber.

(Kokian crawls to the nose of the Phoeinx-X, where Daniel has his back to.)
Daniel: Look, Sonan. You've got some issues...
(Klokian presses some buttons on the metalic sphere. The sphere lights up and he points it to Daniel. Daniel starts getting sucked in)
Daniel: ...and I don't want to get sucked into your problems, so I'll---aaahhhh!!
(He is sucked into the shpere)
Sonan(complains): Finally! I almost got caught by the Q!
Klokian: We go to Klokian homeplanet now. Good work, Sonan.

(Sonan nods. Klokian leaps off the Phoenix-X to Sonan's shoulder. They fly off. Back on Earth, the Klokians slam the city doors in the humanoid's faces)
Jocser: That was rude.
Xena: Come on, let's go. We don't have to stop Artimus' army for these things.
Gotens: Wait! You gotta get me to Klokian's ship on the other side of the countryside so I can go home!!
Gabrielle: Why should we help you?
(Pause)
Gotens: ...Cause I'm a good guy too?
Xena: Artimus' entire army should be heading this way soon. They stand between here and the Klokian thing. This pajama guy wouldn't stand a chance.
Gotens: Yes I would!
(Xena, Gabrielle, the horse, Jocser and the Commander start walking.)

(Armond looks over at Q on the bridge of the Phoeinx-X)
Armond: We have to do something!! They have the Captian!
Q: Well it's not like I can just snap my fingers and make everything okay for you.
(He snaps his fingers and a bowl of ice cream appears. Ensign Dan takes it and eats it)
Q: I will not risk my life by chasing a rogue hunter. They chase us. That's why they are called the hunters.
Armond: Why do they want the Captian?
Q(shrugs): I told you, they chase Q's to kill them. Your Captian was the closest thing to a Q.
Shane(enters the bridge): Hey guys, what'd I miss?