"Fight Bringers, Part II"
(Last time, in Sickbay)
Daniel: That's it!! I've had enough of your laziness!! I'm demoting you! Take off one of your pins.
Gotens: Oh, man. Can't someone else do it?
(Last time, in Ancient Greece)
Gotens: But why would you hide from the Q?
Klokian: To build weapons. To eliminate all Q.
Xena: You're a god hunter?
(Klokian nods. Later, the group is kicked out of the watchtower village)
Xena: Come on, let's go. We don't have to stop Artelus' army for these things.
Gotens: Wait! You gotta get me to the Klon on the other end of the countryside so I can go home!!
Xena: Artelus' entire army should be heading this way soon. They stand between here and the Klokian thing. This pajama guy wouldn't stand a chance.
Gotens: I said I would!
(And, now, the continuation, in Ancient Greece)
Xena: Artelus' entire army should be heading this way soon. They stand between here and the Klokian thing. This pajama guy wouldn't stand a chance.
Gotens: Stop saying that!!
(The three start walking towards another town)
Gotens: Hey, where you going? Klokian's ship is east!
Joxer: Yeah, and Joe's Tavern is south.
Gotens: What are you talking about?
Xena: Look, we're not going to help you. We don't even care about you!
Gotens: But, I thought you were good guys. And I've always depended on the kindness of strangers.
Xena: Look, why don't you come have a drink with us? Greece is a nice place and all the women live to, at least, twenty-five.
Gotens: Fine.
(In the 24th century, Sonan with Klokian on his shoulders drop humanoid warp and enter the Klokian system. They then move towards the planet Klokian)
#Daniel (inside Omni sphere): Hey! Let me out of here!!
Klokian: No.
#Daniel: Fine. I'll just get out of here using the awesome power of the X. Aaaarrgghhhh. Errrrrgggghh!!!!
Klokian: Powers contained in special sphere created by Qs, now being used against Qs. Heh, heh. We will use Daniel substance for more Klokian ships and create more artificial Qs.
#Daniel: Oh, shut up.
(The Phoenix-X floats in space)
Armond: Helm. Set course for the planet Klokian.
Red: Sir, the co-ordinates for that world is unknown.
Armond: Alright, then just go to the Disney Planet.
Shane: Wait! Can't we just follow Sonan's deterioration trail?
Armond: Deterioration trail?
Shane: Well, Monitoring Q mentioned that Sonan was an artificial omnipotent created by the Klokians. Since science dictates that anything artificial, or created, is imperfect to its original being, it would only be logical to assume Sonan is an imperfect, partial Q.
Armond: Science dictated that?
Shane: Oh, yeah. Science is talking a lot nowadays.
Red (checks): He's right. I'm picking up traces of Sonan going all the way into the next Sector. Eww, skin flakes.
(In Ancient Greece, a small section of Artelus' army run into the group)
Partimus: Hey, it's Xena!!
Xena: Yes, it's me. I can start autograph signing now if you want.
Chartimus (pulls out sword): How dare you protect the Klokians!?
Xena: Now, hold it. We're not—
Chartimus (attacks): AAaaaahhh!!! Die, Warrior Princess!!
(Xena kicks him accross the face)
Chartimus (falls): Ooff.
Gotens: Yes! Fighting time!! I knew my Klingon fighting skills would eventually come to good use.
(Partimus smacks him across the face)
Gotens (brings his head back): Your soul will be mine...
(He uses his Klingon fighting skills against the soldier)
Gotens (while fighting): Wohoo! I think I'm gonna stay here instead of going back home.
Xena (fighting): Oh, great.
(In the 24th century, Sonan and Klokian land on planet Klokian. Industrial buildings cover it. He and Sonan enter a building. They approach some machinery and place the Omni sphere in a round socket. Spikes from the machine suddenly jab into the sphere)
#Daniel: Owe!!
Klokian: Machine will now suck the life away from you.
(The machine powers up)
#Daniel: AAaaahh!!
(The Daniel entity fights to stay in the sphere but is sucked out into the machinery)
Klokian: It is the end for you.
(The Captain is pulled through a shining blast of spikey energy. He feels his life begin to end)
#Daniel: Arrgghh— He's right...
(The Phoenix-X follows and collects the trail of tiny lights left by Sonan. It goes passed some dead rock clusters towards the planet Klokian)
Armond: Make sure that the pieces are being held in an anti-matter containment field. They'll fall right through normal matter.
#Kugo: Aye, sir. Kugo out.
Shane: What are we gonna do with all this?
Armond (shrugs): I dunno. I just like collecting things.
Red: Lieutenant Commander, the trail has ended and we have approached a planet, but it is entirely deserted. No signs of any inhabitants ever living on it at all.
Shane: Are you sure our sensors aren't being altered by the Klokians?
Red (checks): I am pretty sure.
(In Ancient Greece, the group enter Joe's Tavern and take seats at a table)
Gotens: So, is this what you do all the time? Fight armies and nerve pinch?
Xena: Yeah. Pretty much.
Gotens: Well, finally, we'll be able to sit down and have a sophisticated conversation. Sooo, do you like stuff?
(Xena picks him up and throws him across the room)
Gabrielle: Good work, Xena. Men are the worst.
(Five Klokians suddenly burst in)
Kloky: Your army has destroyed our city and murdered our people!! You will die for this!!
Xena: But that wasn't my—
Kloky (attacks): Aaaahhh!!! Die!!
(Xena punches him aside)
Gotens (gets up): Arrghh. More fighting? You know, in the future, battles will be fought in space over entire worlds, sex will be enhanced, and classical and jazz music will for no reason be re-popularized.
Xena (clashes her sword): Will you get out here and help fight before someone dies!?
(In the white void, Daniel wakes up and looks around, confused)
Daniel: I'm dead?
Q: You incompetent fool.
Daniel (turns): Q?
Q: Death is nothing to a Q. If you want, you can die and be born again anytime you want. Experiences which, personally, I find pathetic.
Daniel: Really?
Q: Well, to a certain extent.
Daniel: But what about the afterlife?
Q (points to a door): Go, if you wish. It's open to any superior or inferior life form. But I've never seen any Q get back.
Daniel: I think I'll take my chances with the Klokians.
Q: Careful. They've caught eight of us in the past three reoccurring cycles of the Universe.
(He then snaps his fingers to disappear. Daniel does the same thing)
(In the 24th century, on the Phoenix-X)
Kugo (hands a PADD): We've controlled the Sonan matter. It is now altered and inverted. It should have opposite effects on the Klokian species.
Red: You mean, how they used to be immune to it, they're now vulnerable to it?
Kugo: Precisely. But we will only be able to produce one devastating charge.
Armond: Good work, Lieutenant. I knew collecting stuff would pay off.
Kugo: Don't thank me, thank Shane. He was the expert in unstable bio matter.
Shane: It's because I'm a shapeshifter.
Armond (pats on back): Yes, Shane. You're a Changeling.
(He motions two fingers like quotations)
Shane: It's the same thing!
Armond: Now, this Klokian planet seems to be empty. Which means one of two things. They're living in another time period, or they've run in fear from the mere name of the Phoenix-X. Now, I'm betting it's not the first one, but the second one looks prrrrretty good. Heh, heh.
(In Ancient Greece, Xena and the group approach the Klokian small craft timeship Klon)
Gotens: Well, it's been nice knowing you. Thanks for teaching me that blood-cutting-off trick.
Xena: What will you do know?
Gotens: I've been neglecting my duties long enough. I think it's time I went back and did what Commanders are supposed to do.
Gabrielle: What's that?
Gotens: Taking care of business.
(The song plays in the background)
Ares (appears): Be sure to get rid of those Klokians. I don't want any more coming back here with bigger armies.
(The Commander quickly jabs his fingers onto sides of Ares' neck)
Gotens: I've just cut off the flow of blood to your brain. You'll be dead within a minute.
(Ares just stands there)
Gotens: Oh yeah, I forgot, you're a god.
(He gets into the Klon)
Gotens: Bye. Or as they say in Greece, adios amigos.
(He activates the Klon and puts on auto navigation. It goes up out of the atmosphere and speeds into a spatial flexure. It approaches the Klokian planet)
(Ares just stands there)
Gotens: Oh yeah, I forgot, you're a god.
(He gets into the Klon)
Gotens: Bye. Or as they say in Greece, adios amigos.
(He activates the Klon and puts on auto navigation. It goes up out of the atmosphere and speeds into a spatial flexure. It approaches the Klokian planet)