Episode 93B

Star Trek: Phoenix-X
"Celestial Dynamics, Part II"

Out in the comprehendible non-air of cold, hard empty space, in the year 2379, the Prometheus-class U.S.S. Phoenix-X trekked deep-seatedly into the theatre of being well-into things. The senior staff collected into the Conference room to meet the future Ferengi named BOB.

"So, do they have flying cars in the future?" Commander Seifer pondered before chuckling to himself. "Wait. They have that now and in the past. Silly me."

Captain Cell, the not-known-to-most-of-the-fleet Changeling and strict ship boss, sat inexorably at the head of the table. "We can't risk altering the timeline with knowledge of what's to come in twenty-one years. Unless, of course, there is a time-traveling maniac on the loose?"

"Yeah. That!" BOB snapped his fingers. "His name is Sayjan and he is a Na'Kuhl agent from the 29th century, poisoned with time-madness from a neural link to a broken Federation starship modified for time travel, hell-bent on changing the state of time travel rules for all."

The non-officer, beige and brown-colored combat android Trunks turned to all. "Are rules an important thing to humanoid society?"

"They're what hold everyone from killing each other," the other non-officer, light green-skinned half-human, half-alien RaeLuna replied. "People will turn savage and unwaveringly cannibalistic within seconds of any structural lapse."

Seifer tapped his chin. "Seems like both an overstatement and accurate at the same time." Then he shook out of it. "Anyway, whatever it was about your cybernetic implants that caused you jump with him, we should temper this threat with our current threats. Also, where is our BOB? Would be great to see him plotz in the way Ferengi do."

"In his quarters, taking the Surprise Ferengi Bar Exam," Kugo reminded. "Grand Nagus Rom springs it on all his offshore bartenders every couple of years for both a cash grab and a realignment to his new ethical values."

The Ferengi groaned. "Ohhhh, yeah. Every few years I lock myself in there and work, feverishly, for days through several ship attacks. A lot of the questions are about how we differ from Quark. As if we've all met that guy before! I mean, we all have. But to just assume?"

---

BLAM! Suddenly, the ship shook from an intense energy attack and everyone ran out onto the Bridge to see the viewscreen display an energized human, floating in space in contest with the Phoenix-X.

"Damn. It's a floaty space person," Captain Cell furrowed. "Ever since the Q's denied the Omnis their copycat Continuum, they've been trying to grow it back through fighting. It increases their powers."

Amp, the virus hologram, nodded from his Helm position. "They're like that perpetual escalating motion machine we once built but were told to slowly destroy."

"Starfleet vessel, my name is Kuru," came the vocal patterns transformed through subspace. "I didn't ask to be an Omni, but the taste of what could have been a great Continuum drives all of us to no end."

Captain Cell revved up his own Omni power, flowing energies from his arms. "Not all of us, Kuru. Non-consent participation doesn't mean conformity." He turned to Seifer, momentarily. "If I can convince him to let go of godhood, he might be one less victim of circumstance. You guys track the Na'Kuhl. I should be done by then."

"I forgot how outrageously action-packed and super-powered this era of the Phoenix-X was," BOB blinked as Captain Cell ran off into the turbolift and soon appeared on the viewscreen, in cold space, trading energized punches and kicks with Kuru. 

Seifer nodded, familiaringly. "Ohhh, yeah. This is normal, and he's been shapeshifting a lot of swordplay Sulu lately, so he'll be fine." The Commander then turned to Amp and RaeLuna. "Give them some room and start long-range sensor sweeps. BOB and I will cold call any other ships for their own readings of temporal anomalies."

"A thing that every starship encounters almost weekly? Good luck with that," she conceded, getting to work.

While everyone was busy, BOB stood next to Commander Seifer at the command chair. "It's been two years since my new symbiont and I'm still adjusting. Am I a more balanced officer in the future? Can you divulge without spoilers?" Seifer inquired.

"You're a capable Commander with trademark slack, social commentary and a crippling self-doubt that facilitates unhealthy crew culture," BOB observed.

Seifer shook his head. "We're dysfunctional by nature, so wouldn't the consequences of that be just as inherent?"

"Your crew is your family and, if they're not, you have to force it," offered Vice Admiral Janeway from the viewscreen. "If they resist, you lock them in their alcove and deny them Borg computer chips for a week."

The Commander was taken aback. "Aah! Janeway? Aren't you supposed to be lost in the Delta Quadrant for all time and forever?"

"We came back, last year, through methods of scandalous time-tampering by yours-future-truly. I was just taking Voyager over to the Portelo system to be museum-prepped when your non-commissioned, no-no alien Tactical officer hailed me," the re-bunned Starfleet officer explained. "Seriously, does classified information mean nothing to you?"

Seifer shrugged. "We consider all rules as malleable. Anyway, the reason we're reaching out is because we're attempting to track any signs of temporal shenanigans in order to prevent what some analogists call the 'proverbial forest fire'."

"On Voyager, we were too preoccupied with making deals with the Borg, annulling symbiogenesis' and skipping entire years of hells to discern well-written analogies. So much so, that our bio-neural gel packs now skip entire spatial events for their own self-reliefs."

The Commander and BOB dropped their shoulders out of hope. "Ah, that's smart of those strangely intelligent packs," Seifer admitted. "Well, thanks anyway. Let me know if you guys ever get Chakotay a first name."

"Sir, we're getting a response from the half-saucered Enterprise-E," RaeLuna reported while switching the viewscreen to that of Commander Worf.

The Klingon eyed them. "It is agreeable to see you. Except for the fact we just flew passed some Intrepid-class vessel and they appeared to be somewhat frantic. If you are seeking our utility as an extended, long-range sensor ping, you must know that many of those ship components are in the debris of the Schimitar now."

"Why does your voice sound mechanically altered? Is it because you left Deep Space 9 to be an ambassador and then suddenly appeared on the Enterprise? Now that I've future-learned of my cybernetisim, I, past me, find that very offensive," BOB established. "If my creator hadn't died several years from now, I'm sure he'd be rolling around in the grassy spot where he planned to dig his own grave."

Worf arched a brow. "Why not ask him in the present, to be certain of said undulation? As for my voice, it is a self-torture mechanism from these Klingon lozenges I like. It helps me cope with unexpected Enterprise appearances."

"Oh, fine. Go ahead," Seifer offered to an instantaneously realizing and hopeful BOB before the Ferengi ran off to the Ready Room. In the meantime, the Commander wondered, "By the way, there's something about this time-travelling Sayjan guy I don't understand. If his mid-erupting timeship is making him mad, why would he care about temporal legislation?"

The other Commander took it in. "From basically no information on my part, I would gather your criminal's external causes has ebbed into internal ones in order to achieve the former. Captain Picard was once challenged by his own root source from a three-point anti-time anomaly. It was so backwards, Deanna was almost mine."

"Wait a minute. This is the same thing! Sayjan is multi-pinning the timeline, but on purpose," Seifer realized. "Mr. Worf, you're a smart man— in any time. Even more so than that overrated android Data."

Worf reactively bared his teeth. "That overrated android just sacrificed his life for us!" The screen was then cut out in anger.

"What's up with that face? You piss off a Klingon or something?" came the hail of Ensign Beckett Mariner from the U.S.S. Cerritos. "Just wanted to let you know we detected those boring-ass anomalous readings you were looking for, in the Tilonian system."

Seifer blinked. "Okay, but where's your Captain?"

"Pfft! Who cares? Probably in Sickbay getting the stick up her ass removed? Point is, me being transferred here sucks and calling random ships is the best therapy. By the way, we're going to go ahead and keep our distance while you stupidly do time-travel stuff. Lower decks, out!"

--- 

Meanwhile, BOB was sitting behind the Captain's desk in the Ready Room, reaching out to the future-dead creator of the Beguiler Operators. After a moment, a shadowy figure blinked on screen with his lights slowly undimming enough to reveal himself.

"Doctor Gast?" the Ferengi double-taked. "You're the Master Beguiler??"

The grey-haired old human chuckled. "Surprised to see me, I see. After the Phoenix-X had me arrested and tried for managing a planet full of extinct animals, five years ago, I launched a clone to take on my Elba II asylum sentence so that I could continue my many, many genetic projects elsewhere."  

"What about my pseudo-father/creator complex? That can't possibly be unfairly put on you??"

Gast sat up. "Sure, it can! Those are my favourite unconscious biases toward unintended paternal authorities. Also, you should know I cyberneticised the Operators because I was new to alphabetical gene therapy. We had to mechanize genetic dispositions using Spock's historic calculations for timewarp."

"Ugh! That is the most hack thing ever to cause anyone temporal displacement. Now I'm glad you're dead in the future," BOB recoiled before he shut down communications and Captain Cell stepped into the room. "He's not actually dead in the future, is he?"

Cell shrugged. "Unlikely. But my experience with disappointing patrimonialism is to let them be their own separate thing. The same way I convinced Kuru to give up his own patrilineally imposed dreams of Omni-isms so that the Phoenix-X could move on to the Tilonian system."

"Of course!" BOB perked. "Sayjan is creating the Sacred Disorder as we speak. Classic predestination paradox with a side of grandfather. By the way, is free will a thing in either of those? Never mind. Better not to know."

---

The Phoenix-X next dropped transwarp into normal space, in the Tilonian system, to find the near-erupting, cracked and near-unrecognizable Paladin-class, U.S.S. Atlantis-R firing its chronometric cocktail into an empty space in front of them.

"Hey! What in the Kirk brothers is going on here?" came the hail from Admiral Theseus in a Conference room with several Tilonian officials on Tilonus IV. "I am trying to smooth things over after their sister star system was destroyed five years ago and now this??"

BOB nudged Commander Seifer. "Yeah, I would not trust that guy to not-betray us in the future. By the way, surplus'd those negatives for emphasis."

"Phoenix-X! So, you're trying to stop me, yet again!" came another screen-split hail from Sayjan on the Atlantis-R. "Or is this your first time? Damn, time travel messing with chronological perceptions. This is why I hate temporal mechanics."

Kugo entered the Bridge with plomeek pudding. "But you're a time traveler?"

"Yeah, but you never really get into it until you generate cinematically alternate divergent timelines where you're played by younger, more athletic versions who look nothing like you."

Seifer strained his arm in a contentious point. "Cease your canon-breaking! You no longer have the antichroniton/inverse tachyon pulse mix for your vicious time cocktail."

"I'm sure you'll remember those things," BOB hoped of Commander Seifer.

Sayjan cringed. "The Atlantis doesn't even have the same power output as before. None of it is necessary in order to complete the multi-point space-time infusion that will give me all the power I need."

"It's just like what robot-voiced Worf said. His cause is internal. He's doing this for himself. Sayjan's going to turn himself Omni??" Seifer realized before turning to BOB. "Guessing I didn't retain that in 2400."

BOB side-tracked. "Yeah, you're a clone by then, so your memory is shoddy at best."

"Wait. Am I not Captain? What happened to me?" Cell blinked.

The Ferengi turned. "Sooo many legal issues. Like, start lawyering up now. But let's get back to this. If we can buffer ridiculousness by un-Omni-dreaming that Na'Kuhl, then maybe we stand a chance at reversing the time pincushion."

"Sayjan, hear me out," Cell began in agreement. "Logic dictates that too much power leads to dumb power managers. We're talking reckless Thasian caretakers, destructive Nacene banjo men and the finger-reproductive Q. All just awful at using their abilities to the point of being easily pitied upon by Starfleet crews."

Seifer snapped his fingers. "Oh! The Greek gods were real, and they used giant hands to hold starships and play blackjack."

"That is all very compelling and historical, but you're forgetting one thing," Sayjan admitted. "I'm governed by time madness! Logic means nothing to those removed and neural interfaces on mid-destructing future ships will not them go. The high road has always been the answer, so becoming an Omni is the only way."

BOB gestured. "High-roading only works with integrity. You know you can just leave your ship, right? There's an interlink range on your neural connection?" Then, to explain his expertise, "Ferengi are all about banned thought maker technology and mind-blocking Betazoids."

"You think the Atlantis will give me the willpower to do that!? You do you, Strangely High-lettered Starship. Meanwhile, once this vessel jumps to the future, it will explode there and complete the Omni nest, with me inside to absorb the resulting power."

They watched as the cracks all around the malformed Atlantis-R moved to encompass the spot where the expulsing cocktail gathered while the ship revved its temporal engines. BOB looked at his hands and began to likewise energize in time-travel wackiness.

"Well, it was nice visiting a more orchestral and aesthetically aligned era," BOB qualmed, hopelessly, as he felt his implants revving. "Remember: Do not trust AI in the form of Texas-class starships, Protostar living constructs or Ganmadan mechanical tentacles."

Seifer turned to RaeLuna. "Get a lock on Sayjan and beam him over here. The sever may disrupt the time-jump and save our Ferengi surplus." 

"No! My nefarious plans??" came the sudden cry from Sayjan as he was beamed onto the Bridge of the Phoenix-X seconds before BOB and the Atlantis-R disappeared in a flash to jump into the far future. "Plans that did not include foreknowledge of what year the final jump was to."

Cell squinted, critically. "Then those are terrible plans." 

"Yeah. Being governed by a disorganized starship was not fun, from a strategic standpoint," Sayjan admitted. "Perhaps seeking any level omnipotence is a get-rich-quick scheme best left to fools with lessons still left to learn. So, thank you for releasing me. Also, I can tell my body is still charged with some of the Atlantis' temporal energy?"

Seifer dismissed, "A quick slow-paced lubrication in our NX-01 style decon chambers will fix that."

"Ew. Just scaling down my schemes for time freedom should be enough, now that I've regained sanity." Then he snapped his fingers. "I know! I'll go to the 21st century and save the Xindi-Avians from extinction, thus unifying them against the Federation!"

As the crew watched him time-jump his self out there, Cell and Seifer were left to look at each other in bewilderment. "I'm sure someone will stop him," the Commander shrugged. "In the meantime, let's dissipate this anomaly with science so as to keep space clean and tidy for guests and whatnot. The lesson being: When failure begets you in any time, try, try again."

"You will do no such learning!" came the viewscreen yell from Admiral Theseus, still there and still on the planet. "The Tilonians are calling that anomaly the Sacred Disorder and will not allow us to touch it for reverence's sakes. Considering the eggshells we're on since their sister system's death, we simply must comply."

Cell furrowed his brow. "Then we're going to visit non-canon species and have adventures and so on. Don't call us. We know something is off about you," he said while disabling communications. "Commander, let's go to Trunkola where the tree species live. I'm going to cherish the time I have on this ship."

"Agreed, and we'll increase our crew numbers to adhere and be ready for what that Na'Kuhl has planted for us," Seifer high-fived before the Phoenix-X turned in space and jumped to transwarp. Time would have one more chance.