Episode 93C

Star Trek: Phoenix-X
"Celestial Dynamics, Part III"

Out in the incognizable fortitude of boundless, vacuous space, in the year 2404, the Prometheus-class U.S.S. Phoenix-X languished and flourished amongst the galactic endurance. Commander Night Seifer took a seat at the Bridge.

"Ahhh, yes," he sunk in, more comfortable than ever. "This is the most well-fitting chair ever made, thanks to the Charles Tucker III Cathedra Conventions established in the mid 22nd century."

But, suddenly, the time-travelling Ferengi BOB flashed in, right upon the Bridge to everyone's surprise. "Phew. Landed here again, rather than cold, hard space."

"Ahh!" came the jump-scare reaction from Lieutenant Briggs. "Oh, it's likely the subspace articulation from our transwarp that ties your cybernetic implants to the Phoenix-X. We did a whole seven-course study about why you were always here and how to get rid of you."

Elly nodded. "We realized you would only leave when the engines were turned off for at least five minutes. Haven't turned them back on in a month since you vacated for hunting archeologist-adventurers on Risa." 

"Ohhh, yeah, that was always my fallback," BOB recalled in touching reverie. "Anyhow, I'm here now. But, past-me. Which means, so is that mid-explosive U.S.S. Atlantis-R. We have to get to the Tilonian system and stop it from forming an Omni nest."

Seifer stood. "I knew it was only a matter of time before Sayjan would rear his questionable head. Luckily, I've been preparing. Tong, recall the old crew from their imposter-ship assignments. Gewdeque, prepare the tri-focal array system. It's a multitude of brains and ship power that will stop this wild-eyed spatial madness from endowing omnipotence and Tilonian system destruction once and for all."

"Also, I won't die, right? We probably should have checked that," BOB realized to an awkward senior staff silence. "Anyone?"

---

Later, the Phoenix-X picked up its old crew and dropped out of transwarp into the Tilonian system. The old senior staff and current senior staff collected in the Briefing room.

"Ahh, just like old times," Ensign Dan appreciated.

After Seifer entered, he snapped, "You're relieved!" before turning to the rest. "Oh, that felt good. And, thank you all for joining us on this dire mission of nonsensical space-time rules. As you know, we have all been joint-projecting a nullifying anti-cocktail to Sayjan's super-powered chronometric consortium for the past four years, either remotely or in-house."

"You know, you-calling us is a huge disrespect to your actual, present-day crew who are perfectly capable of handling everyday maniacal time-men. Right?" Armond raised, whilst everyone struggled for arm room in too-close-quarters to everyone else. "Also, I could have sworn this table was larger?"

Seifer nodded. "Indeed. We decompiled much of this floor-pushing flat-top as parts for our tri-focal array level-up. Also, after our two last, years-passed, failed attempts at stopping that Na'Kuhl wild man, plus several, unrelated and maddening Starfleet-wide near-calamities, I refuse to take any more chances."

"Commander, the issue of saving the Tilonian system is not the only reason we have come here today," Kugo began. "For, you see, we have learned that Starfleet has already positioned Epsilon Fleet, with repeller beams, around the Sacred Disorder and its embedded Atlantis-R, on orders to study and prevent it from exploding."

Seifer perked. "Then the Omni nest has started and they're waiting patiently for us to do our part. Nice!"

"Not exactly," came the sudden viewscreen hail from Admiral Theseus. "While I commend your old crew for alerting you to hypothetical irate circumstances, you must know it is not cause for alarm. There is no sign of Sayjan and we want to use this as an opportunity to joint-protect the phenomenon in accordance with the Tilonian government. You know how it symbolizes mental issues for them, which we can all agree are things we can fix with band-aid solutions."

The Commander was taken aback. "No? Also, what's your play here? You've betrayed us so many times in the past and now we're to believe you want this anomaly to be the thing that mends relations?"

"Hey, what you believe and what is can correlate once in a while. That and I also want to promote you to Captain," Theseus said, seriously. "A long, over-due aggrandizement deserving of performative hard work in transwarp research and your various anti-trope circumlocutions. Hopefully, you won't die like you did last time we tried Captaining you. Am I right? Ha!"

Seifer shook his head. "You listen here, Theseus. If you think I'm going to sit idly by while badmiral's are badmiraling to the maximum badness, then—"

"Computer! Initiate Delayed Captain Protocol: Sisko-Burnham," Theseus called out before he joyfully disconnected and a high-speed pip shot itself out of a wall and hit Seifer in the uniform collar.

The impact sent Seifer to the floor in pain, "Ugh!!" He then found he now had four pips on his collar. He stood up and tried removing it, but it was fused to the fabric. "Damn! After all the odd missions, secrecies and powered-people conferences, he's finally come out to us as trying to co-opt that Omni nest for Omni powers."

"I can take him, Captain," Tong said, clenching his fist and powering up his own energies. "Oh, and your old crew's data confirms there is no Sayjan anymore. This is all Theseus."

Kayl perked. "Which means you don't need us anymore. In fact, your continual, sporadic recall of us over the years is unilaterally selfish and unhealthy. It's like you don't care about anyone but yourself!"

"Am I late?" RaeLuna asked, entering the room to find two irate crews. "Ah, duped again."

Veker stood, looking at a PADD. "Also, Captain, our initial scans are complete and it's well enough to surmise the Admiral knows about our inverse tachyon/antichroniton reverse-cocktail since he has modified the chronometric bed, that is the Sacred Disorder, from what we had previously projected."

"Listen, everyone. I invoke the virtue that is problem-solving-Starfleet, of which that has saved me from self-destruction over and over, for all these years. You're all continually back for a dose that very same integrity, and now it's being threatened by a man who launched the Phoenix-X for surreptitious agendas and who dishes Captaincy as a misdirect. I say we go in there and correct him."

After a moment, both old and new crews glanced at each other and nodded in agreement before exiting to the Bridge.

---

The Phoenix-X approached the spectacular spatial anomaly, mixed with the mid-exploding, separated parts of the future-Atlantis-R, being held in place by tractor beams from the circling U.S.S. Crucial, Hijinx, Jenova and Tsunami, all usurped by their former commanding officers.

"By the southern twang of cranky-faced, 23rd century doctors," BOB trailed with wide-eyes at the elaborate Omni nest. "Tell me the Federation is interfering without telling me the Federation is interfering."

The screen suddenly clicked on to a view of Tilonian Council Therapist Ihruv from Tilonus IV. "Your strangely 21st century/Gen-Z-talking Ferengi is right! After we agreed to your support in improving the Sacred Disorder, your vessels refuse to answer any of our status sessions or engage in any emotionally revealing couch chats."

"Theseus co-opted the Amp/Mayhem viral programming into a Tilonian-blocker on all those ships," Briggs realized as he sifted through ship scans. "Also, he sent for backup!"

Everyone looked on as Briggs pointed to the viewscreen showing more Starfleet ships dropping warp, including that of the U.S.S. Zephyra. The screen split into a view of the Zephyra's Captain Aeris and the Hijinx's Admiral Reynolds.

"After everything we've been through, Seifer, you're here to betray all that we stand for?" a more mature Aeris claimed in astonishment. "And don't say it's the opposite. I know how obsessed you are with the status quo. You once resorted to gifting cute little pets to your old crew as stay-bribery."

Reynolds nodded. "And also don't say Theseus is using this scientific study for some kind of self-omnipotencing cover, because who are we to say who does and does not get power over space and time? Is this not a free galaxy?"

"Freedom isn't a lawless whimsy to be flung about in experimentally, egomaniacal directions. It still needs maturity and governance," Seifer layed. "At least Sayjan had the excuse of time-madness. Theseus has been growing his mania for decades."

BOB interjected. "And if you think you can enable badmirals to contain them at a later date, you're excusing your own inaction for empty virtue."

"Uggh. Fine," Captain Aeris conceded. "Though, you should know, the Amp/Mayhem viral retaliation protocol also disables our ships from autonomy with knife-like system protocols aimed at our throat subroutines. If one were to meet Theseus, it would be aboard what compartments are left of the Atlantis. I'm enabling a subversive transporter pathway through the dampening field, to our collective detriment, so you'll only get one chance."

As soon as the modifications were in place, the Zephyra began to shake itself from a self-destructive viral feedback. All the other Starfleet ships began to involuntarily follow suit, in destabilization. Knowing his chance, Seifer quickly ran to a nearby console.

"Kugo, Gewdeque. Since our anti-cocktail isn't going to diffuse this chronometric bed like we thought it was, I want to modify it with an ionically transformative beam setting instead," he ordered while working.

The two Engineers glanced at each other, from what they were suddenly seeing, before Kugo replied, "But that will convert the phenomena into a molecularly charged ion storm with untold effects on us all?"

"And if you're going down there, you may not survive?" Gewdeque added.

Seifer turned to everyone. "Exactly. We need the most radical Kirk-level reversal available to stop this man. Something he's not expecting. You see, I've been selfishly holding on to you all, via Starfleet-virtue, for decades because I can't let go of the past and now said forced stagnancy has finally grown into an horrific death-threat. People need to let go and move on for others not just when it's near-late, but when nature time-rears its space-temporal head." 

"Good luck, Captain," was all BOB could say in the crew-shared-astonishment as Captain Seifer nodded to them and ran through the turbolift doors for the transporter room. "And may the space gods mercifully not be bug-zap-like attracted to the temporal equivalent of your soul." 

---

Down, in the last remaining Engineering section of the broken Atlantis-R, deep within the confines of the Omni nest/Sacred Disorder, Captain Seifer beamed in to find an alone Admiral Theseus tapping at a control deck.

"All the scheming, the orders, the Section 31 missions to steal beads from Evora home world? For this?" Seifer interrupted. "To become like a Q?"

Theseus was momentarily caught off guard during his frantic, last-minute changes to the temporal mix. "I didn't know exactly what I was after for so long until we created this physics-breaking pincushion in 2379. But I can tell you, it's already happened. For you see, long before that, I received a distant echoing omnipotent taste from a future me, prompting me into a decades-long chase for power. The Phoenix-X was the perfect support-ship in my cause for superior control over time and space."

"You know you're troping really hard right now with the whole Admiral-going-bad thing, right?" Seifer deadpanned. "I made several passive-aggressive call-outs earlier."

The obvious Admiral smirked. "Tropes deliver us more than cautionary contrivance, but character-driven purpose with sure-fire results. You simply cannot fail if you're predictable, so I say embrace it if you are securing a goal worthy of men."

"Like, omnipotence? Evolution led us to intelligence and warp travel, yet anyone achieving personal mastery over time and space has consistently shown a failure of acumen," Seifer accused as Theseus opened a nearby hatch, forcing the air to start to escape and exposing them to the white energy of the anomaly. "Unless your Starfleet integrity is intact, you will hurt others!" 

Theseus' eyes became locked onto the temptation of energy before him. "Then hurt them. Because collective sacrifice must be made as a commission of my exertions to a new power structure." He took a step toward the windy threshold as the Phoenix-X fired its trifocal beam into the anomaly. "That's the Phoenix-X hitting us with your inverse tachyon/antichroniton beam, which I've set the anomaly to have the reverse effect of surge-amplifying me into a full-blown Q faster than what would previously been a slow-cook."

"No. That's me countering tyrannical dehumanization," Seifer called out as Theseus lept into the surge, delay-registering the Captain's words before being engulfed in the anomaly.

The Omni nest then began morphing and knocking energy tentrils at piece after piece of the Atlantis-R, rupturing Night Seifer's own physical body and violently knocking each broken ship chunk away before he was beamed out. A second later, the Sacred Disorder exploded into an ion storm/molecular reversion field, shockwaving through every ship in the vicinity, disabling their disrupting viral feedbacks, turning all the adults from every ship into confused young adults and sending BOB reeling back in time!

---

A few minutes later, the Vorcha-class I.K.S. B'Cnah dropped warp to find the mess of derelict Starfleet vessels and barely conscious youthful humanoids in Starfleet uniforms. They hailed the Phoenix-X.

"Sorry, I'm late for the classic crew call-back," said Lieutenant Commander Red. "I had to trick this vessel's commanding officer into a counselling session about all the laugh reacts we do. Hah! Klingons and mental health? Also, what the hell happened here?"

Groggily, a now younger Armond got off the floor and perched himself in the command chair of the Phoenix-X. He then saw that the transported and lifeless body of Captain Night Seifer laid at his feet. "I don't know who I am or who this is, but I think he's dead."

"Ah! You've been molecularly reverted with the added bonus of memory loss. It's unlikely the Tilonians are going to forget that transgression," Red realized. "I'm calling the Trill Symbiosis Commission, as the Seifer symbiont must be continued on. Can you coat-hanger-hook it out of his stomach and place it between two bags of frozen peas? It's what he requested upon his passing."

Suddenly, Theseus momentarily flash-appeared onto the Bridge of the B'Cnah, to the Klingon crew's surprise. Captain Menchez stepped out of his counselling session, unsatisfied. "Ugh. That sofa was too soft. And, why do our intellectuals quote so much Shakespeare? Also, who is this malformed human on our Bridge?"

"Arrgh! Your foolish Seifer messed up my ascension!" Theseus gritted as his poorly corporeally-fashioned body was now mishapened and mutated. "I can't even traverse the white-space multi-plain without a terrible, off-centered, limping wrangling! My transformation is severely blemished! Just because I did bad guy things? Damn Starfleet comeuppances!"

They watched him struggle in pain to flash away to another plain of existence, before the Klingons turned back to the dazed and lost Phoenix-X. Menchez blinked. "Okay, wow. You guys clearly have screwed things up here to the point you are going to have to re-learn everything. I say, once you regain your senses, go back to your Starfleet Academy. But what do Klingons know? Am I right?" And then, smirking, he added, "We're into sarcasm now."

--- 

Meanwhile, back in the year 2393, BOB flashed himself, for one last time, back aboard that era's Phoenix-X. Exhausted, he fell to his knees upon the Bridge, to find Commander Seifer and Lieutenant Commander Veker there.

"Aaah!" BOB exclaimed before realizing another time jump. "What's today's date? The date!?"

Seifer stepped up. "Belay that! You've been time-travelling far too much, Mister. It doesn't matter what year it is. You are staying here and not going anytime. Luckily, the you of this era has already left the ship in search of personal meaning and what-not, after that whole Beguiler Operator ramshackle we just went through with Ardra's crew."

"Yes, Commander," BOB said, glancing at a console before getting to his feet and dusting himself off. "But I'm from your future? A great many years, I think? Also, my memory is hazy on what just happened to me? Like I was being partially molecularly reverted on my way out?"

The Trill waved it off. "Enough! I will have no more of these time travel shenanigans and what will or won't go down isn't up to us to interfere with until it's possibly too late. I'm not fully realized, but perhaps not all of us are. Now, join me as a non-officer attaché in calling the old crew back again for more research against that Sacred Disorder and whatever additional adventures we can get ourselves into."

"Sir, your current crew is standing right here," Veker interrupted.

Seifer took a seat. "Yeah, yeah. The point is, we've all been speed-running through time for so long now, and that's going to stop. It's this year and that's it. You know, until another year comes. If it must."

"Permission to get my own Bridge chair?" BOB queried.

The Commander snapped. "Denied! You will stand here next to me like I had to for all those years. I'm passing it on for tradition's sakes. Pike and Kirk understood it. Not sure why Picard and Janeway had to get all seat-sharey. Anyway. Helm, take us to our annual head bead acquiring at the Evora home world. Transwarp. Engage!"