25.2.98

Episode 7B

Star Trek: Phoenix-X
Home, Part II

(On Deep Space 9)
(Brig)
Sisko: What the hell were you doing?
Gotens: Taking a ship like you said I could.
Sisko: I said no such thi--
Gotens: ....See?
Sisko: That is still no excuse. You could be ejected out of the Federation for what you've done.
Gotens: Well you should take time to listen to anyone who comes in your office.
Sisko: Look, I look upon Trills as the teachers. Your wisdom and everything you've learned. You should be setting an example. Let's just forget the whole thing.
Gotens: Agreed.
Sisko: Lieutenant Commander Dax will escort you to the Flortarios Sector in a Runabout. Then she will pick up Security Chief Odo.
(On the Pheonix-X)
(In the ready room)
Prime Minister: I need you two with your shape shifting abilities to search out the Dominion spy on the planet.
Odo: How did you find out that there was a spy on Flortarios III?
Prime Minister: We think that the spy is also a Changeling.

(On the Rio Grande)
Dax: So how many lives have you been through?
Gotens: This is my fifth host.
Dax: Oh, I'm in my seventh.
Gotens: Then I guess you're two lives older.

(The Rio Grande is fired upon)

(On the Rio Grande)
Dax: What was that?
Gotens: It's a....Ferengi freighter. Return fire.
Dax: Ey' sir.
Gotens: Now hail them.
*Human: Sorry, but I have no choice.
Gotens: What?

(Cardassian ship decloaks)(It fires on the Ferengi frieghtor)
(The Ferengi freightor explodes)

(On the Rio Grande)
Gotens: On screen.
*Meloneus: Greetings Gotens.
Gotens: ...Meloneus.
*Meloneus: That's Gul Meloneus now.
Gotens: I'm not surprised.
*Meloneus: I've known you since your last life time, who was it...Rivera Gotens?
Gotens: That was my last host. So what? I don't remember you from then.
*Meloneus: You're the one who killed my best friend on Flortarios III. Now it's your turn to die...

(On Flortarios III, Land O' Lakes.)
(The Captain and Odo are walking through town)
Daniel: So, how do we find another Changeling?
Odo: How do you know to find me?
Daniel: I see you there with my eyes.
Odo: Oh. Well, I guess that won't work.
Daniel: I guess not. So, how do we find it and where?
Odo: Let's start where there a lot of people. Then we can maybe scope him out
from there.
Daniel: I guess so.
Odo: What do you mean you guess? You are the Captain.
Daniel: I guess I need some Ginkoba.
Odo: Uhhhhh......okayyy.
Daniel: You look wierd when you say that.
Odo: Shut up.
Daniel: Your nose is beside your mouth.
Odo: What!!! Oh gosh.
Daniel: Just kidding.

(On the Rio Grande)
Night: You know, you just saved ourlives. We thank you for that.
Dax: I don't.
(Night slaps Dax)
Dax: Ow!
*Meloneus: Uhhhhh...accidents happen. You know, you are ruining the moment. I don't need your thanks.
Night: Now my children will be happy another day for the sparement of my life. I don't know how to thank you.
*Meloneus: Uggh. I can't kill you now. I'll wait later. Meloneus out. Your mine. Just wai--
Dax(Mumbles): He's gone.
Night: I know. I cut him off. Continue course to Flortarios III.
(Night leans back and relaxes back in his chair. Then without notice, Dax punches him in the face.)
Dax: That's for slapping me. Girl Power.

(The Cardassian Ship cloaks)

(On the planet Flortarios III)(In Land O' Lakes County)(At a market place)
Odo: I'm getting tired of walking around this busy place.
Daniel: We're Changelings, we're don't get physically tired. Anyways, aren't you used to busy places?
Odo: Yes but usually am watching someone in particular.
Daniel: Oh yeah, Quark.
Odo: No, the Dabu girls.

(On the Rio Grande)
Dax: I wonder why that human was on a Ferengi Freighter...and why was he attacking us...?
Gotens: I wonder how a Dominion vessel got into the Alpha Quadrant.
Dax: I wonder how they get the caramel into a caramel bar.
Gotens: They must've hid behind the Pheonix-X when we were leaving the wormhole.
Dax: But we would've still detected them even if they were cloaked.
Gotens: But the Pheonix-X still had a thin residue of that sub-space cloud we encountered, on the shell.
Dax: Yeah...that distortion must've blocked sensors for us around you, and your external sensors were not working to the fullest at that time.
Gotens: Neither could our crew...well our crew never works to thier fullest at any time.

(On the planet Flortarios III)(In the county Land O' Lakes)(At a market place)
Daniel: The PM said the spy was last seen at this market place. Now, I deduce that it'll be at least twenty or thirty hours before we start suspecting anyone--
Odo: That woman over there...
Daniel: Where?
Odo: That human...She's been walking back and forth from that compound to behind those trees.
Daniel: Huh? Yeah, she's pretty hot.
Odo: She's coming this way, quickly turn into a--a chair!
Daniel: A chair? Outside, in the middle of a crowd? Are you daft man? I'm going to reincarnate.
(Daniel walks behind a wall and transforms into a bald eagle)(The bald eagle flys and perches itself on the roof of the compound)
(Odo walks around the crowd, watching the human female)
(The human walks by and approaches a hovercar)(She steps into a hovercar)
(Odo merges into the surface of the ground)(Then he emerges out of the ground as liquid to behind the hovercar)(Then the liquid goes into the surface to the hovercar)
(The hovercar drives away)
(The bald eagle follows it)

(On the Pheonix-X)
Kayl: Lieutenant Commander, we're recieveing a communication from...The White House of Commons.
Armond: On screen.
*President: We are ready to transport.
(Pause)
Armond: ...Aaaand I'm supposed to care?
*President: No, we're ready for Captian Daniel to beam down for the arranged meeting.
Armond: Beam down? The Captian isn't even here. Wasn't the meeting cancelled?
*President: Nooooh, what are you talking about?
Armond: Well by request of the Prime Minister, Captian Daniel and Temporary First Officer Odo were beamed onto the surface for some kinky mission.
*President: What?! The Prime Minister!?
Armond: He's on the ship.
*President: What!? On the ship?!
Armond: Yes.
*President: Wha--!? Oh sorry, my hearing aid was out.
(Armond taps his combadge)
Armond: Prime Minister Clingten, can you please come to the Bridge.
*Prime Minster Clingten: ...I did not have sex with that w--oh, yes of course.
Armond: Don't you leaders consult yourselves when making desisions?
*President: This is politics, everything's based on rumors.
Ensign Dan: ...Hey, I heard that the Prime Minister's having an affiar with your wife...
*President: I'm not married...
Ensign Dan: Oh... I mean I heard that your going to be asked soon...
*President: I don't communicate with the outside world, I'm very close to myself.
Ensign Dan: --You'd admit that on screen?
*President: Yes... Yes I would.
(Clingten enters the bridge)
Prime Minister Clingten: Creeton?
Armond: Um, did you just call him a cretin?
*President Creeton: No, that's my name.
Clingten: Now I'm call'n you a cretin.
Ensign Dan: Only you would know.
*Creeton: Clingten, what are you doing? The Federation is here to protect us from invasion, and you send them to solve our own problems?!?!
Clingten: ...Yeah.
*Creeton: Good work.
Clingten: I believe the spy is a potential invasion problem.
*Creeton: You could've consulted us first. And why are you sending the leader of the whole Federation Fleet here to do it?
Clingten: He's a changeling.
*Creeton: He is?
Clingten: Yes, he is.
Armond: So, what does that have to do with anything? I'm a human.
Clingten: Human...
*Creeton: He's Human?
Clingten: Yes, he is.
Ensign Dan: Interesting...
*Creeton: We will postpone the meeting with Captian Daniel. When he gets back, we will meet. If you know what I mean...
Clingten: No.
(Screen off)
Ensign Dan: What is this meeting for?
Clingten: It's just to meet, formally confirm the posting, discuss tatical positions, aaand sexually probe him.
Ensign Dan: Oh...what was that last one?
Clingten: Tentively loab him.
Ensign Dan: Loab him?
Clingten: Yes...loab.
Ensign Dan: Oh. Anybody up for Tongo?

(On the planet Flortarios III)(In Washawo Region)(At a small Ferengi shuttle)
(The woman gets out of the hovercar)(She walks into the Ferengi Shuttle)
(Liquified Odo goes inside the shuttle too)
(The bald eagle nose dives towards the top of the shuttle craft)(It splats on the surface of the shuttle craft, the Daniel liquid goes into the shuttle craft as the door closes)

(The shuttle craft takes off into the atmostphere)(The shuttle flies through the traffic of other ships leaving and entering)(The shuttle passes the Pheonix-X in orbit)(The Ferengi shuttle heads out of the Flortarios System)

(On the Ferengi Shuttlecraft)
(The Human and a Ferengi are at the controls)
Ferengi: You know, you really shouldn't be wearing any clothes.
(She looks at him, then shapeshifts the clothes off)
Ferengi: Heh...so do I get to know what's in my cargo?
Human: Shut up and fly the ship.
Ferengi: I was just making conversation.
Human: Do you want me to give you that virus I gave to that Human?
Ferengi: No-no, look, I'm flying the ship... Aaand we're entering the Denotreas Belt...

(Ferengi Shuttle swoops down into the path of millions of ice rocks)(Ferengi Shuttle dodges an incoming rock on the left, then dodges a couple rocks from the right)

(On the Rio Grande)
Dax: Do you know what you're doing?
Gotens: Yeah, I've been through a meteor belt before...once..--Ovcourse I was in a huge ship and the rocks just vapourized when they hit the shields...
Dax: --What!?
Gotens: Dax, trust me.
(He taps the controls)

(The Rio Grande enters the Denotreas Belt)(The Rio Grande dodges an incoming ice rock from above and then gets struck by an ice cluster below)

(On the Ferengi Shuttlecraft)
Human: What is that?
Ferengi: What is what?
(Human points through the window)
Human: That.
(The Federation Runabout is viewable through the window)
(The Human liquifies into the floor)
Ferengi: Heyyy, it's Federation. Don't leave me alone with these people.

(On the Rio Grande)
(The two grip the control deck as the ship shakes roughly)
Dax: Sir, why don't I take the controls?
Gotens: No, I know what I'm doin--
Dax: Hey look.
(They see Ferengi Shuttle heading this way through the window)
Gotens: I'm gonna slow to quarter-quarter impulse. It looks Ferengi.
Dax: It must be a shuttle for that Ferengi Freightor that was destroyed. I'll tell them the goo--bad news.
Gotens: If the Ferengi Freightor was hostile, then this Ferengi Shuttle might be too.

(On the Ferengi Shuttle)
(At the operations controls where the Ferengi is, Daniel emerges to his waist from the left wall)(Odo emerges to his waist from the right wall)(The Ferengi still at the controls not suspecting a thing)(Daniel and Odo merge back into the wall)
(In the Engine Room)
Odo: It's a Runabout.
Daniel: A what?
Odo: It's a type of Federation Danaube shuttle assigned to Deep Space 9.
Daniel: That must be the Commander. They are supposed to drop him off here and pick you up.
Odo: Do you think the Ferengi heard us?
Daniel: I dunno.
Odo: Hm, first, lets link.
Daniel: No.
Odo: Okay. Awaiting your orders sir.

(The Rio Grande dodges an ice rock from the left, and then swiftly doges one on the right)(The Rio Grande encounters a huge ice rock heading towards them. The Rio Grande fires phasers and destroys it)

(On the Rio Grande)
Gotens: Thank you, I can take the controls from here.
Dax: Sir, should I hail them?

(The Ferengi Shuttle still going at current velocity dodges an ice rock from the top left and dodges a rock from the bottom)
(The Rio Grande gets hit by another cluster of ice pebbles)
(The Ferengi Shuttle and Runabout get closer)

(On the Ferengi Shuttle)
(Odo and the Captain solidify a pair of lips from the wall to talk)
(Muffled sound)
Odo: Now we won't get noticed.
Daniel: Hey, change the color of your lips.
Odo: Okay. There. You look like you have girly lips. It makes me want to link. Let's do it.
Daniel: Uhhhh.....no. And that is an order. An imperative order.
Odo: I suppose so. So, what are we going to do?
Daniel: Well, our suspicion was right about another changeling being the spy for the invasion.
Odo: It holds valuable information that can cripple our forces.
(The shuttle hits an meteor. It shakes.) (Odo yells out)
Odo: Hey, watch where you are going.
Ferengi: I'm trying to....Hey, who said that? Computer, access environmental controls and decrease temperature 5 degrees.
(Odo and Daniel be quiet for a minute then start talking)
Daniel: You idiot! Good thing we were not discovered. Anyways.....Yeah, that's why we have to stop it. The plan is to stop it here. Then take over this vessel. Once we take it over, we will go back to Pheonix-X. I have a meeting to get to and I need my Commander back.
Odo: And I need to get back to DS9..........Uh.....when we apprehend the Changeling, can I link with it?
Daniel: I'll think about it. Uggh.

(On the Pheonix-X)
BOB: Uhhhh..... I don't know what you guys intend to do. But when you say something about loabing, it makes a person think.
Clingten: Hey, has anyone ever told you how nice your loabs look?
Armond: That's enough, I won't have any of this on my ship.
Red: It's not your ship.
Armond: Well it is at the moment.
BOB: Sorry I brought it up. Forget about it.
Red: Jeez. Everyone is so uptight. I know the Captain would-
Armond: I told you not to ever say that name in my presence!!!!

(On the Disney planet, a child watches the ancient movie The Lion King)
Scar(yells at Zazoo): I told you never to say that name in my presence!!!!

(Back on Pheonix-X)
Red: Well, aren't we a little on the Hitler side.
Armond: Sorry. I got a little out of hand there. If anyone needs me, I'll be in Sickbay.
(BOB notes this in his log)

(Meanwhile, on the Rio Grande.)
Dax: Boy, I'm getting cabinfever in here.
Gotens: We are almost approaching that shuttle.
Dax: Watch out for that--
(The Rio Grande hits an meteor)
Gotens: Opps. My bad.
Dax: Your what? I hope you know I am married.
Gotens: Let's just get back to that shuttle.
Dax: Very well. The shuttle is closing in at an intercept course. It's on half
impulse.
Gotens: Change course for an intercept also. Maintain quarter-quarter impulse.
Dax: Done
(The Rio Grande approaches the ship and slows. The Ferengi shuttle also slows.)
Gotens: Arm all phazers and scan for lifesigns.
Dax: There is one Ferengi. It's powering up it's arms.
Gotens: Watch out for it's elbow. Hahaha. Get it.....elbow.....arms. Hahahahahahaha.
Dax: Sir, with all do respect, this niether the time nor the place.
Gotens: Well, a person is just trying to liven up the situation and you just poop on my jokes. Well, consider yourself relieved.
Dax: Uh! Well I never.
Gotens: Well you never what?
Dax: Nevermind.
Gotens: You never mind? What is that supposed to mean?
(The Rio Grande is hit with a phazer blast)
Gotens: Okay, consider yourself reinstated. Now help me destroy this ship. Hahahaha. Ahem.
Dax: Now you ask for my help when you are about to die. huh! I'm going to do it for the sake of my life.
Gotens: And, I ordered you.
(The runabout is hit by another phazer blast.)
Dax/Gotens: Ahhhhhh!!!!!
Gotens: Okay, truce.
Dax: Truce.
Gotens: Ebasive maneuvers.
Dax: Done.
Gotens: Fire back. I want that ship disabled, not destroyed.
Dax: Okay.

(The ships fire back and forth. Both, flying in between asteroids and trying to hit each other.)

(On the Ferengi Shuttle)
Ferengi: Uggh! Shields down to 30%. 25%. So much stress. Computer, access environmental controls and decrease temperature 10 degrees more. And play some music from that movie Mortal Kombat XXXV.
(Secretly)
Odo: One more question Captain, do you have a tongue right now?
Daniel: Uh....no.
Other Changeling: But I do.
Daniel/Odo: What?
Other Changeling: But I do.
Daniel: We heard you the first time.
(All of the Changelings emerge from the walls and floors.)
(The Ferengi notices them and pulls out a phazer)
Ferengi: Where did you come from? and you? and you? I need a vacation. Will one of you rub my loabs?
Odo: Uhhh....I wil-
Daniel: Odo, this not the time or place.
Other Changeling: Shutup you two and prepare your molecules to be vaporized. Get them Ferengi.
Ferengi: Wait a minute. You were going to leave me. They did nothing to me.
(The Ferengi shoots the Changeling and it is unconscience in human form.)
Daniel: Thanks.
Ferengi: Computer, encase the unconscience Changeling in a level 10 force field.
(A force filed goes up.)
Ferengi: Now will you loab me?
Odo: Sur-
*Computer: Warning. Core stability down to 5%. Shutting down all unnecesary systems.
Ferengi: Noooo. Not the music.

(On the Rio Grande)
Dax: Commander, the shuttle has stopped. It has ceased fire.
Gotens: Bring us about and put it at our port side.
(The shuttles face each other.)
Gotens: Open a channel and put it on screen.
Dax: Done.
Gotens: This is the Federation Runabout, Rio Grande. Shut off all weapons and prepared to be boarded. A breech of this order will result in your destruction.
*Daniel: Commander. There will be no need of this. Beam us out of here now. Daniel out.
Gotens: Do as he said. Get them out of there.

(On the Ferengi Shuttle)
Daniel: Ferengi, kill that force field now.
Ferengi: Done.
(The force field goes down.)
(They all get transported to the Rio Grande.)
Daniel: Computer, encase a level 10 force field on the unconscience Changeling.
(A force field goes up)
Gotens: Welcome back Captain.
Daniel: Nice to see you to, Night.
Night: Please sir. I would still like to be referred to as Gotens.
Daniel: Ugghh. Very well... Gotens.
Gotens: Thank you.
Odo: Hello Dax.
Dax: Welcome Odo.
Ferengi: Hello all.
Gotens/Dax: Who is he?
Dax: And who is that thing in the field?
Daniel: I'll explain later when we get back to Pheonix-X. Tractor that ship and head back to Floritarios III.