Episode 92B

Star Trek: Phoenix-X
"Transgressables, Part II"

The Terran Prometheus-class I.S.S. Phoenix-X drifted treacherously close to the splurge of a large green tentacle species in space. Mirror Seifer and his Mirror crew sat diligently upon their Mirror Bridge.

"Look at them. So wiggly! I love it," he observed. "Does anyone have a craving for tube grubs now? Seems like a fortunate consequence from just being here."

RaeLuna nodded. "Such a consumable would not be out of the question had I not eaten mealworms earlier today."

"First of all, ew. And second, sensors are indicating that these lifeforms contain something akin to neurotransmitters within each slimy, disgusting tentacle," Kayl observed of the data.

Seifer paused. "Hold on. Are you saying we've inadvertently sought out, what would appear to us as, new life and, given time to develop expansive social and economical structures, new civilizations?"

"I would not put it passed us for unwittingly falling into what we would consider an exploratory goody two-shoesy trope," offered Dain from the helm.

Suddenly, the communications broke open and the haunting voice of the tentacle aliens transmitted through. "Greetings. We are the Sleri. Prepare to be assimilated— into nothingness. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be totally destroyed, along with anything else you have."

"Hey! I'm Commander Seifer of the Terran Empire's subjugated yet privileged alien faction. Did you steal and modify that intro from somewhere?" Seifer queried.

One of the Sleri tentacles held up a halting-tentacle in space. "Yes. We are from Fluidic Space and we've been around. Enough so, that we have become highly xenophobic and violent to most people. Are you free to engage in combat-to-the-death?"

"Actually, we are not," Kugo interjected. "We have a friend who needs saving right now?"

Seifer threw up his hands. "Damn that protocol that allows my Bridge crew to defy me openly during inter-spacial communications!"

"It was implemented because they wanted more celestial drama, per Terran Empire quota regulations," RaeLuna reminded.

The Commander nodded. "That's true. But those very characteristics of our re-dominating Empire is what gives me pause now. I'd like to offer something called 'diplomacy' to you Sleri-kind."

"This is just your Prime Universe host and new Mirror-symbiont talking," continued the Vulcan Chief Engineer. "It's theatre and interpersonal dramaturgy that matters most for us reflectoids."

Another Sleri reverberation echoed throughout the ship. "Look, we do not want to get in the way if you have other business to attend to. Our grievances can easily be withheld to someone more indulging."

"So, our lack of hostility makes us unworthy of your menace?" postulated Seifer. "Is everyone against a non-threatening, non-dramatic Terran ship? That we’re not even worth the time if we don't fit the stereotype?"

The Sleri sighed. "If we are being honest, every species in this universe is terrible and the same. It's a somewhat repetitious and incessant tone forced down our hypothetical throats. We have come here to confront your Mirror Jem'Hadar, who have been breeding artificial versions of our kind for their own benefit."

"We're not even your business??" regurgitated the Commander, standing up in defiance. "But I'm coming at you in a conciliatory disposition! That makes us matter more so for being layered and relatable!"

The Sleri countered, "Relevance is subjective. We simply do not wish to engage with you anymore." 

"Well, what if I wish to engage with you? Fire the phaser cannons!" ordered Seifer before the Mirror Phoenix-X positioned in space and blasted a consecutive series of phaser bursts at the Sleri.

The tentacles energized themselves in defense and blocked several hits but were overwhelmed when the Phoenix-X threw out a quantum torpedo that tore through and exploded half of the Sleri-bunch in space. The other half came engulfed in energized, destructive plasma.

"Damn," Seifer retracted as he sat back down in self-defeat. "That was a major Terran regression on my part, if there ever was one."

The remaining tentacles re-energized and began healing themselves. "Ha! In fact, it was we who manipulated you into combat using a completely new and unused concept we like to call 'reverse psychology'. The purpose being is that we learn and adapt from these encounters, which will ultimately serve when confronting our true enemies."

"Reverse psychology? That's brilliant! Finally, a tactic for our arsenal that those Prime Universians could never comprehend," Seifer realized. "But, more importantly, I've learned it's harder to change from who you are overnight. To wit, behavioural development is a long-term transformation riddled with successes and diminishing returns."

Kugo perked. "Sooo, about that Wayfar?"

"Very well. Helm! To the other thing!" Mirror Seifer declared before the Mirror Phoenix-X turned in space and jumped to mirror warp.

---

Meanwhile, Mirror Red's skeleton crew were now reintegrated upon the Klingon-Cardassian Alliance Vor'cha-class A.K.S. B'Chnah. 

"There isn't any chance that joking about a mutiny would preclude the expectation of a mutiny, would it?" Red inquired.

Menchez perked. "Do you honestly feel like going through all that trouble? I mean, I'm up for it, if you want to do the whole one-of-us-kills-the-other? The bloodlust itself would be honorable and satisfying."

"No," Red sighed, realizing the complexity and energy involved. "I'd really much rather sit. I had replicated blood oatmeal this morning for breakfast."

The older Klingon acquiesced. "I'm honestly not trying to deter you. I really am on board for a classic secret or full-force insurrection that pits us against each other in a heat of done-to-death violence." He gaged his unresponsive first officer for a moment. "Well, the option remains if you change your mind. Sometimes we have setbacks, but it's moving on that waits for us with the most patience. In the meantime, we continue to interrogate the Traveler known as Wayfar."

"Understood, Captain. But surely the large tentacles wrapped around our ship right now is far more immediate anyway?" Red questioned, gesturing to the viewscreen at its partial coverage by a Sleri arm.

Menchez nodded. "I was just relishing in the conflict of it all for a little while. We Klingons find battle so therapeutic, we will sometimes stop in the midst of it just to appreciate our good fortune."

"Huh. Never thought of it that way. This is actually preferable to a malfunctioning Traveler now that I'm sitting with it," Red realized, seconds before the I.S.S. Phoenix-X dropped warp within the small section of the screen that was still able to show space.

The Terran ship moved in closer to see that the Alliance craft was locked in peril. Commander Seifer hailed. "Klingon ship. Your position is clearly compromised by the presence of a second Sleri conglomeration, so we will be taking advantage of said-redundancy and fetching our Wayfar back."

"Why? What do you know of these things?" Menchez eyed, suspiciously. "Your goatees betray you. Are we in any real danger or what?"

Seifer waved it off, unconvincingly. "Oh, you're totally in danger. Sooo much danger. In fact, I'm Gabriel Lorca-jealous."

"Liar!!" the Klingon Captain regurgitated. "He was an Elon Musk-loving hack and real envy comes at a deeper cost. You are so plainly a stereotypical Terran-type. Helm, wiggle the slimy long thingies off us. Tactical, target the Phoenix-X and prepare to fire!"