Unofficial 8B

Unofficial Literary Challenge #12: Prompt #2: Misplaced

The Centaur-class U.S.S. Jenova watched as the Barzan wormhole opened just outside Vandor IV. The Crucial exited and transported Iviok and Reynolds back to the Jenova.

"Ah, wormholes; the waste-extraction pipelines of the galaxy," Iviok commented while the two of them entered the Excelsior-class-looking Bridge. "Did I miss anything while I was away?"

Caveat, the Chief engineer, got out of his chair. "It looks like the Orions evacuated the vicinity. Likely due to the might of our 23rd century-esque, Tier 1 starship."

"That's what I like to hear; continued delusion," Iviok patted him on his shoulder. "But it's more likely the Jade Fox called off the whole operation. Well, at least Reynolds and I were able to force re-open the Barzan wormhole using calculations of time warp!"

Gondi spoke up, from his tactical console, "Actually, the lab on Vandor IV is reporting that whatever space-time manipulations you have done has caused the recent fixations to dissipate, and never return."

"What?! That means the Jenolan Dyson Sphere is our only Delta Quadrant access??" Reynolds cursed. "Which means more forced interactions with that long-winded bore, Ethan Burgess. Uggh. Let me know when we've reached the Hijinx."

Iviok nodded before Reynolds left the Bridge. He then turned to his crew. "I'll be in my Ready Room, going through our daily damage reports. Remember-- if the ship isn't dented, then it might as well be rented."


Not long later, the doorbell to Captain Iviok's ready room toned, and Caveat was let in. The Andorian was working on some devices on his desk.

"Okay, I don't know jack about the 24th century, but everybody out there thinks staying here and fighting the Borg is suicide!" Caveat cut straight to the point. "They're just afraid to say it to your blue face."

Iviok looked at him, perplexed. "Huh? You know we aren't scheduled to confront the Borg for at least two weeks? And it's the 25th century?"

"Ah," Caveat snapped his fingers in realization. "Forgot. --What I meant to start with was that recent reports from around the ship have detailed the missing of several unimportant items: a hyper-spanner here, a Mirror Universe transporter device there..."

The Andorian Captain put down his pieces. "All things you can find on a starship. --Wait. Was that me? That may have been me?"

"No," Caveat answered, examining at his desk mess. "You appear to have half the parts to an exocomp; those lovable futuristic roombas. --No, you see, someone's been stealing specific unremarkable items from around the ship for some greater reason. But, what for, I fear to know."

Iviok stood up. "Then there's only one way to find out. We have to look at what they took and build what they're building before they can!"

"Seems reasonable," Caveat replied.


Later, in the Jenova's Engineering, Iviok and Caveat stood around an unrecognizable tall, mechanical mash-up.

"So... what is it?" Iviok asked, sharing a loss for answers.

Caveat looked. "It's, uhh, it's green."

"It's yellow!" Iviok countered.

Caveat shook his head out of it. "Right; of course. I was having an Engineer flash back. --Should we activate this thing, without testing of any kind?"

"You know the answer to that," Iviok replied. He then moved over to it and flicked a switch. It started shaking and emitting a bright, fantastical light.

Entering Engineering, the Starfleet Klingon first officer, Melyot, walked, carrying a similar device. "Aw! How'd you get yours working? All mine seems to do is dispense sarcastic remarks." He placed his device down and flicked its switch.

"Eat any good books lately?" the device spurted in the Computer's voice.

Meylot punched it. "You know I have!"

"Wait, Commander, so you're the one behind the tale of the stolen things all throughout the ship??" Iviok turned. "It was such a long and arduous mystery!"

The first officer turned to him. "I clearly specified what I was doing in a report I sent to you last week."

"Ah, that explains it. I used your reports to level my desk. --Engineer, you see; I solve problems." Iviok said, satisfied. "But why'd you try to build a thing that horribly transforms spatial harmonics?"

Suddenly, a Klingon female, named Treth beamed in from a cloaked probe, with her early-childhood-aged son, Feng. "Because he was trying to impress me!"

"Ah!? My online chat, possible-hookup??" Melyot reacted in shock.

Treth spat in his direction. "You fool! You couldn't even build a simple extradimensional transformation matrix! How could you expect a date??" She then turned to the others. "You see, I believe my son is the end-game Kuvah'magh of all Kuvah'maghs: the legendary Kuvah'Kugh'Heg'Meh'Mughehegh! He is said to exist outside the space-time continuum, in the future, and is foretold to bring about a new era of generalized events in the Klingon Empire."

"So, this device, carelessly cobbled together using second handed parts from a Tier 1, 23rd century-type, half-broken Centaur-class starship, transforms people into non-corporeal beings?" Iviok worked out.

The Klingon female spat at him, this time. "You fool! It will only work on my son, because he was born with delta series radioisotopes, of which he is immune. Also, you are continued fools because his transformation happened while we were talking, just now!"

"Hello, mother," a floating, glowing sparse of energy said in a calm voice.

Treth was taken aback. "Ah! --You know how that freaks me out! And the way you say it too; just weird."

"Damn, Menrow's temporal-altered cells!" Iviok cursed to the side. "Also, how could you do this to a child?? They're the hair-spotted larvae of the humanoid condition."

The woman glared at him. "Beliefs! Beliefs are the cornerstone of strange sciencey-things. Well, from your perspective, at least. From mine, they're an annoying step from zero to prophecy." She then turned to her floating-energy son. "Come now, Feng. There is more to be done."

"Very well, mother," the energy said with a creepy sly tone. The two of them exited Engineering, with no one daring to stop them.

Iviok turned to his Chief Engineer. "The lesson here is, technological progress goes too absurd at times. And we are its constant facilitators."

"We need to be more careful," Caveat suggested.

Captain Iviok approached each, tall mashed-up device. "Agreed. For now, let's dismantle the spirit-making machine, but keep the sarcasm-making machine."

"You can't destroy me, anymore than you could win a beauty contest," the insulting device directed at Commander Melyot.

The Klingon punched it again. "taHqeq!!" He then sighed and accepted the facts. "I am going to my quarters to re-do my Klingon Dating Profile. If there really will be a new era of generalized events, then I must prepare to take my chances."

Iviok and Caveat watched as Melyot left Engineering, while simultaneously trying to fix his rowdy, out-of-control hair.