Armond: "Thank you for this intriguing window into a life of uncanny experimentation and senseless destruction. Now that Theseus has all the data he needs, I'm ready to join the Corps of Engineers."
Korlaney: "You definitely will be joining, in at least 5 years! It takes forever to process an application. Surprisingly, no one has invented the technology to speed up the process."
Armond: "Well, what do I do until then?"
Korlaney: "You can work on the USS Phoenix. It's the only ship that wasn't fully destroyed as it is too small to be destroyed properly. That thing just won't go down."
Armond: "You mean we went through 24 ships for nothing??"
Korlaney: "It's not a big deal having two ships of the same name in service. The USS Atlantis does it. There's at least eight USS Intrepid's out there."
He pulls a nearby lever, which opens a trapdoor at his feet and then falls through and away intentionally. Meanwhile, Commander Avery approaches Captian Cid.
Avery: "No luck finding Sulu, but I did find these levitation boots! Can't go wrong with these, huh?"
Cid: "I've been looking for these ever since I tried mountain climbing El Capitan in Yosemite National Park! Just for that, I promote you to second officer of the USS Phoenix!"
Avery: "The mortality rate on those ships are good, right?"
Cid: "Uhh, yeah..."
2
Later, Lore controls the whole ship with mere thoughts. He thinks the ship into Transwarp, on a heading for Federation space. Then he decides to meet Cell in the Captain's Ready room. He takes a seat across the table.
Lore: "So, let me get this straight, you're a Changeling from the Dominion with a rank of Captain in Starfleet?"
Cell: "That's right! I hated the way the Dominion did things, so I escaped and made a life for myself here. It was centuries before the Federation realized who I was and by then it was too late! They had to accept me."
Lore: "The Federation sure is stupid. This ship doesn't even make sense. Why is there an X in your name if you're not the 25th ship?"
Cell: "Actually, there's something I haven't told anybody since I took command of this uber-vessel... We really are the 25th starship to be named Phoenix."
Lore: "By the sword of Kahless!?"
Cell: "Yes, it's true. You see, it all started in the year 2367..."
The Captain describes a time, 20 years into the past, where a Captian Daniel stands aboard the Bridge of the Nebula-class starship USS Phoenix, speaking to Admiral Theseus, over the viewscreen. Theseus has taken command of the Excelsior-class starship USS Manila.
>Theseus: "Now, I'd like for you to take care of this ship, unlike how you got the USS Kyushu destroyed."
Daniel: "We were being attacked by the Borg at Wolf 359!"
>Theseus: "All I'm hearing are excuses. Anyway, you are to do a quick test-run of the Phoenix. We've installed a clone transwarp drive onto it and need the resulting data right away."
Daniel: "Fine. But if we hear 21st century automobile engine start-up sound effects during operation, you can forget it."
Later, the USS Phoenix finds itself alone in space. There, Daniel speaks to one of the Corps of Engineers on the Bridge.
Korlaney: "So, the Phoenix, huh? I heard Captain Maxwell went on a crazy shooting spree using this ship. He sure went crazy for some reason."
Armond: "I think it was a result of the apparent polywater molecules roaming throughout the corridors."
The ship then activates its new engines, resulting in a massive explosion in Engineering! The lower half of the ship breaks off into large pieces. Two weeks later, Daniel, Armond and Korlaney stand in a floating office at Utopia Planitia Fleet Yards.
Armond: "My spine cracked in eight places thanks to that."
Daniel: "Shouldn't you be dead then?"
Armond: "Well, I got a new spine from some Doctor Lox guy aboard the USS Farragut. It keeps making buzzing noises."
Tyler, enters: "Our new ship is ready for launching."
Daniel: "Wait, what? I thought I was done here?"
Korlaney: "Not exactly. You see, the Phoenix has been knocked out of commission, so we're launching another ship of the same registry and name to test out another transwarp engine. Say hello to the Oberth-class, USS Phoenix-A!"
He gestures to the window, where the starship is sitting outside.
Daniel: "Ugh. Where's the neck? Nevermind. Let's do this thing."
Armond: "Hey, I have a question. Does this exploding phenomenon happen all the time with you Engineers?"
Korlaney: "I assure you, that it is a rare occurence. Here! I have photocopied a Corps Engineer application. You can fill it out on the way to the ship!"
Armond: "But we don't use paper in the 24th century?"
Korlaney: "It's making a comeback!"
3
James: "You don't think our actions will be cause of contention between that Starfleet Captain and Commander? --No, you're right. It's not our concern anymore. Let's go live a perfect life in the aftermath of the Dominion War!"
4
Kayl: "At least I don't have to wear the grey-tops anymore. You know what I mean? Ahh, this is the life."
5
Cell: "You may now call me, Captain Cell. I changed my name because I changed my understanding; as I finally comprehend that sense of bodily loss you endure daily, thanks to me having to let my body-linking-Changeling friend go."
6
Korlaney: "Alright, that's enough. We're ending this transwarp test program right now. I've never experienced so much Excelsior-isms in my entire life. This is worse than getting trapped in the Typhon Expanse!"
Tyler: "Weren't you supposed to write a report on that? I hear the Enterprise-D is heading there next year."
Korlaney: "I'll get around to it. It's not like Bozeman's going anywhere."
7
Daniel: "Just get back to your syncing with the future. If I can't keep solid form, I'm okay with that. We can't be so arrogant to think we can control everything. Also, I'm okay with Shane leaving."
Seifer: "Wait. He leaves? Well thanks for ruining it for me. You're supposed to say 'spoiler alert'."
8
Theseus: "Anyway, I am Admiral Theseus, and since that Nebula class, Phoenix, is currently out of comission, we have launched a new ship in its vein... the Challenger class, Phoenix-A."
Daniel: "Ew. Oh, ugh-- You might as well have launched a giant ping pong paddle. I feel like you guys just didn't know where to place the nacelles. What giant space-crane operator messed that up?"
9
2383. Kayl goes for a joy-ride in a random-borrowed alien starship and gets caught in a molecular reversion field. Captain Cell and the crew happen upon her and beam her out if it, making her young again.
Kayl: "Just like when Picard from the Enterprise-D turned into a kid!"
Seifer: "Except you're much better looking, if I may say inappropriately."
Kayl: "I'm joining the crew, just so you know."
Seifer: "Then please ignore my obvious verbal-sexual harassment, which I do not condone."
10
Kugo: "And did you forget that at this very second, Seifer has been captured for interrogation by some ship, in front of us?"
Cell: "Huh? Oh right. My thoughts just tend to drift now that we in a state of happy-ending."
Kugo: "No we're not! We have adventures every week!"
Cell: "Hey now. You know you're not supposed to acknowledge that consistency. Now, let's get back to this current thing, and try not to get us destroyed-- as you are correct in that there have been quite enough Phoenix-ships."
11
2375. The Vector pops out in the wrong time. Commander Seifer slams his fists into a nearby control panel.
Seifer: "Damn! This means we have to keep waiting to sync."
Lox: "So, cards? We've also learned Fizzbin."
Seifer: "No! Truth is, I have no idea what the Captain was talking about on his death-bed. What was I thinking with the blackjack metaphors? Perhaps when we sync up, I'll get it. In the meantime, I'm stealing this ship to look for a way to get my symbiont back! That would be a better use of my time."
He phasers the crew out and hopelessly mans the helm.
Seifer: "Damn. I meant to place a bet on that little box that claims-part-of-Quark's-pre-vacuumed-decimated-remains first. Oh well; I'll just steal it and then visit Deep Space 9."
12
Meanwhile, Armond finally joins the special section within the Corps of Engineers, working on Earth, on various special projects involving exploding robotic flowers and cross-subspace pollination.
Monique: "Great job there. But please don't ever hand one of those to me again."
Armond: "Sorry about that."
2382. He finally has had enough of the never ending generations of exploding flowers, and oddly corrupted projects, which are so obviously being sent in by Section 31, that he decides to rejoin Starfleet. He works aboard the Federation starship Shark.
Armond: "They were just sooooooo obvious. Also, I can pursue my dreams on my own terms."
Jet: "What are you talking about? Also, no talking on my ship!"
Armond: "Ugh. I just, um, need to hail Captain Cell.... for, um.... a thing-- a personnel transfer thing. Not for me-- a friend. Yeah."