16.4.03

Star Trek: Hijinx (uncompleted)

U.S.S. Hijinx
NCC 23571
Shania Class










Stardate 57080.9

Commander Reynolds floats without gravity in the Hover-Ball Room. She hits the ball with a racket to her opponent.
Bo: "So when do you think Starfleet will give you a promotion?"
Reynolds, hits the ball again: "That is not a concern, Lieutenant."
Bo: "Yes, but you have been deserving it for years now."
He misses the ball and loses the game.
Reynolds: "Ha! Got you."
#Lane: "Ensign Lane to Commander Reynolds, report to the Bridge. You'd better come see this."

Reynolds and Bo enter the Bridge of the Hijinx. There on the viewscreen is a small Fleet of Remen Warships.
Bo: "Uh oh..."
Reynolds: "Did we wander into the wrong area of space?"
Lane: "No... they did."



The Fleet engages the Hijinx, firing torpedo pulses.
Reynolds: "Bo, evasive manouvers, now!"

The Hijinx speeds past an incoming Warship and blasts Torpedoes into the next Warship. Just then, Warships from all around start cloaking and de-cloaking in different areas around the Hijinx. They fire torpedoes.

Lane: "Ah!! What do we do?"
Reynolds: "Simple..."

She pulls out a holo-grid attached to an extended control panel arm and places her hand on the grid. With this she can compare the space around them with a three-axis grid. She then looks on screen, searching her mind...

Reynolds: "Cloaked ship... 23, mark 6-5."

The Hijinx arcs, dodging incoming fire, and then blasts quantum torpedoes out into space. The torpdoes hit a cloaked vessel, damaging it badly and rendering part of it visable.

Reynolds: "09, mark 2-8."

The Hijinx pumps torpedoes onto the constantly nearby Warship, destroying its dorsal hull and then fires out into blank space again. The torpedoes tear into another cloaked Warship, rendering part of it visible aswell.

The Hijinx pops up quickly, as torpedoes head straight for them. The Hijinx impulses up and down, rather the conventional straight forward and circling means.

Qone: "Halt attack!!!"

The Hijinx hits another cloaked Warship before all the Warships stop and face the Hijinx.

The main Warship hails them.
>Qone: "How the hell are you able to do that!?!"
Reynolds: "Do what? I thought we were battling here."
>Qone: "How are you able to locate my cloaked vessels!?!?!"
Reynolds: "Oh that. Well, I'm full Betazoid, so I can read your minds."
>Qone: "Beyond space!?"
Reynolds: "Yeah, it's an aquired skill."
>Qone: "What about that jumping around your ship was doing???"
Reynolds: "Specially placed thrusters to suit my fighting style."
>Qone: "Argh!!"
The Remen pushes one his men away in anger.
>Qone: "That's so annoying!!"
Reynolds: "Why are you here? You're supposed to be docked at Romulus and Remus."
>Qone: "We're going to attack the Turismo's and steal thier technology... and we can't succeed if you're weakening our Ships!"
Reynolds: "I'm sorry, but I can't let you do that."
>Qone: "Yes you can! The Turismo's aren't a Federation Planet."
Reynolds: "Yeah, but--"
She stops for a second...
Reynolds: "...Uhh, umm..."
>Qone: "Ha! Got you there. So, you want to come help us? You're a really good fighter."
Reynolds: "Absolutely not!"
>Qone: "Alright, alright... Hey, uhh, after the invasion... What do you say to dinner or something? Maybe a holographic getaway?"
Reynolds: "No!!"
>Qone: "Right, right. Okay, well, we're outta here. Later."
He winks, in hopes the charm will win her over. The screen then cuts out, and all the Warship speed past the Hijinx.

Reynolds: "Ggrrggh!!! I hate being a female Commander."
Bo: "What do we do now?"
Lane: "Yeah, they're going to destroy the Tursimo's. My friend's cousin has a brother who's married to a Turismo."
Reynolds: "Alright. I want a meeting in the Briefing Room right now. Senior Staff only."




Everyone meets in the Briefing Room.
Lane: "So what are we going to do?"
Bo, shrugs: "There's nothing we can do. The Prime Directive applies here."
Reynolds: "No, Bo is right. There's a reason why the Federation has had these rules for Centuries now."
Bo: "So that other cultures can evolve at thier own pace, and solve thier own problems."
Reynolds: "Exactly."
Lane: "Then what if that culture gets completely exterminated?"
Reynolds: "Then that culture wasn't good enough to be alive in the first place."
Lane: "Commander!"
Reynolds: "Oops, I mean... uhh... hey where's the Captain?"
Lane: "There is no Captain. You've been in command of the Hijinx for years!"
Reynolds: "You're right, and I've had it up to here with your constant lip."

The Hijinx treks through space, approaching a Planet in the distance. Around it, is a defending Tursimo fleet of Starships and an approaching fleet of Remen Warships. Reynolds steps up, on her Bridge.

Bo: "The Turismo Fleet is engaging the Remen Fleet."
Reynolds: "Okay... We'll just take out a few Remen Ship's and then watch for a while."

Five Remen Ships speed through a group of six Turismo Ships. Four of them survived...

Bo: "Dang."



The Hijinx sinks down, passing under a Remen Warship and blasting a torpedo into its shields. Another Turismo Starship passes by it, and cuts phasers along its side, taking out its shields.

The Hijinx spins around and pumps two torpedoes out into empty space... suddenly hitting a cloaked Remen Warship, following an explosion to the back half of the Warship.
Reynolds: "Great firing Lane."
Lane: "Thanks, Captain."

Two Remen Warship's gain on a single Turismo Starship, raining it with pulses and two torpedoes until the Turismo Starship explodes.

The Hijinx speeds around behind one of the two, and launches a quantum torpedo onto thier rear structure. The Warship's shields are knocked out along with part of the Ship, as they go twrilling uncontrolably.
Gane: "AAarrrrhhh!!"

Meanwhile, at Turismo Starship Command on the surface of the Planet, a General contacts thier President.
Morb: "President, a Federation Ship is assisting us!"
>Clane: "What? How dare they!?"
Morb: "President, that's a... good thing."
>Clane: "Oh, well then, uhh, tell them to work harder."
Morb: "Yes, sir."

The Hijinx tractor beams a Remen Warship away from chasing a Tursimo Ship and pumps torpedoes into its hull. The Warship explodes, as the Hijinx acclerates upwards away.

It comes to level with one of the last Remen Warship's and fires torpedoes at it. The Remen vessel cloaks and moves out of the way, but a Tursimo Starship predicts its next move and fires phasers into it. The Remen Warship partially explodes, sending large pieces flying as the Hijinx and the Tursimo Ship speed out of there together.
Tolorn: "Thanks a lot for the help, Hijinx!"

They both speed past more battling Remen and Turismo Ships.
Reynolds: "No problem. Just watch your back there."
>Tolorn: "We will, Hijinx... we will."

All of a sudden a Remen rams torpedoes as it passes them, exploding half of that Turismo Starship to large pieces.

Reynolds: "Oops."
The Hijinx dives under a Remen Warship, and jumps up behind it, connecting a tractor beam to it. The Hijinx pulls the Warship up, into the path of an already speeding Warship which comes in, crashing into it. Both Warship's endure major destruction as the Hijinx speeds out of there.

Most of the Tursimo Starships have pushed away the attacking Remen's, resulting in the Remens' retreat.

The last Warship's jump to Warp out of there as the Turismo's finally rest from all the fighting. The Hijinx sits in the midsts of all the floating debris as the last Remen Warship accelertates past the Warp barrier.
Qone: "Argh!! We'll get you for this, Hijinx! We'll get you!!!"
He sticks a picture of Reynolds on the side of his control panel, admiring her, and gets his crew to change course for Romulan Space.

The Turismo Starship Command hails the Hijinx in space.
>Morb: "Thank you Hijinx... is there any way we can repay you?"
Reynolds: "Don't mention it. Just as long as Starfleet doesn't find out, and we get a free tour of your City, we'll call it even."
>Morb: "It's a deal! But, uhh... the City tours are pretty expensive. Are you sure you don't want to just walk around and look at all the buildings yourselves?"
Reynolds: "I said, we want a free tour..."
>Morb, backs off: "Oh-- al, alright."




Reynolds and Bo are on a carriage, which hovers throughout the City streets of Turismo Alpha Kenil, the Planet's biggest city. A robotic tour guide explains the City's greatest structures.
(Robot): "...And to your left you will notice the T-Tower... created by the great Turusians in the late 14th to 18th Century. Production was slow."
Bo, points: "Hey, Commander look, an Energy Production Plant. I think it's based on an anti-matter-matter reaction."
Reynolds: "Uhh... fascinating."
Just then they recieve a communication from the Hijinx in orbit.
#Lane: "Lane to Commander Reynolds, you're getting a transmission from Starbase 55."
Reynolds, taps her commbadge: "I guess it'd be rude to reroute it to my commbadge..."
#Lane: "Yes, ma'am, very rude indeed."
Dine, one of the passengers on the Tour, taps her shoulder from the seating behind: "I have a portable viewscreen. It would give me no less pleasure than to let you use it after saving our World earlier."
Reynolds, takes it: "Oh thanks. Lane, can you reroute the transmission to this device?"
The transmission is rerouted and Admiral Cloud goes onscreen.
(Robot): "...And to the right, you will notice the World's largest sphere. It's purpose back in the 12th Century was to steamroll enemy cities during war time."
>Cloud: "Commander? What was that voice?"
Reynolds: "Uhh, nothing sir. How can I help you?"

The carriage hovers around the next street corner, passing two larger hover vehicles.
>Cloud: "I just wanted to congratulate you after all these years, for Commanding the Hijinx so impressively. That Cardassian treaty negotiation over the Nikon Zone last week went very well."
Reynolds: "Thanks, sir. They just couldn't say no to to those neck warmers we offered."
>Cloud: "Reynolds, in light of your great work I want to promote you to Captain."
Reynolds: "Really, sir? You mean it?"
>Cloud: "Yes. You've shown exemplimary work over the past couple years. I think we should have promoted you a long time ago."
Just then, onscreen, an Ensign hands Admiral Cloud a padd.
>Cloud reads the padd. His happy facial expression slowly changes: "What the?? You assisted the Turismo's in repelling a Remen invasion!?!?!"
Reynolds: "But sir--"
>Cloud: "...You broke the Prime Directive!!!"
Reynolds: "Let me explai---"
>Cloud: "No! You're not getting any promotion Reynolds!"
Reynolds: "Sir, you can't believe everything you read. Didn't you learn anything from the News Media Wars on Earth centuries ago?"
>Cloud: "That's it, Reynolds! I want you to report to Starbase 55 for a complete systems revamp. That's what you deseve!!"
Reynolds: "But that'll take weeks!"
>Cloud: "Exactly! Maybe by that time, you'll have learned your lesson!!"
The screen clicks off.
(Robot): "...And passing right above us is the City's highest bridge. From there suicide could be easily performed onto the traffic below. But back then suicide was called pseudo side."
Reynolds and Bo just look at each other, confused as the Carriage continues on down the street at the feet of all these tall futuristic buildings.




Reynolds enters the Bridge of the Hijinx in orbit of Turismo. Everyone has returned aboard, and she sighs in disappointment.
Reynolds: "HHh... alright. Let's go."
Deborah: "Captain!! ....I'm getting a distress signal from Saturn... and I'm picking up readings of a giant alien vessel approaching it!"
Reynolds: "Some kind of invasion?"
Deborah: "It's a species called the Gordarions..."
Bo: "I've heard of them. They're an experimental obsessed species."
Deborah, scans: "And they're firing something into Saturn's atmosphere... --There are five Starships trying to take it out, but are undergoing severe damage."
Reynolds: "Change course for Sector 001."

The Hijinx speeds around and then jumps to Warp out of there.

Meanwhile, a huge egg-shaped grey Gordarion Ship emits a beam into Saturn's rings. The rings begin to flare up, until the Crucial speeds by and blasts a charged phaser into thier sides, knocking them back a little.
Gordo: "Diffusion at 23-percent."
Ger: "We can't complete our mission with these annyoing Vessels pounding on our hull."

The Gordarion Ship arcs around and blasts a thick energy beam out into space, hitting the Gettysburg roughly, sending them creening off course.

The Crucial and the Kitana speed around in the same formation and blast torpedoes at the giant egg-ship.
Barley: "Captain... It seems they are trying to convert some of the particles in the rings..."
Menrow: "Convert, to what?"
Barley: "Unknown, sir."
Menrow: "Is there anyway we can diffuse that particle beam without it affecting the rings themselves?"
Hatcha: "It looks like an inverse pelthron stream. A phaser beam could disperse it."
Menrow nods to this.

The Crucial fly's around, positioning themselves at an angle above the egg-ship and the beam its emitting into Saturn just beyond orbit. The Crucial fire phasers, but then is suddenly blasted back by another beam from the Egg-Ship.

The Crucial spins backwards away from the battle, just when the Hijinx drops Warp nearby. They hail each other.
Reynolds: "Crucial, are you okay?"
>Menrow: "We think a phaser blast to their pelthron stream will diffuse it. You have to take out that beam before whatever thier planning to do to the rings happens!"

Two more Federation Starship arrive, blasting weapons at the Egg-Ship. The Hijinx leaves the Crucial and speeds towards the situation. The Hijinx rains torpedoes along the hull of the Egg-Ship, when suddenly Saturn's rings begin emitting a strange low-luminescent light and energy out into space.

The Egg-Ship drops its beam and backs off, watching it. It continues to take on major damage from the fleet of circling Starships, but focuses on thier job anyway.

The Kitana scans for the Egg-Ship's damage report.
Trelane: "Thier hull is incredibly strong!"
Pax: "We're slowly getting through though..."
Trelane: "What the hell did they do to the Planet!?"
Pax: "Unknown, ma'am... Saturn seems to be emitting a multitude of background pelthron radiation."

The Gordarion Egg-Ship rotates around and heads into the light and energy of the rings in Saturn. It hides in the energy from all the Starships, who don't dare enter.

Bo: "Should we go after them?"
Reynolds: "Hold it! ...They know our ship's can't withstand the energy being emitted from the Planet."
She leans forward, trying to read thier minds in the great distance between them.
Reynolds: "The Gordarions... they don't care about us. They're just executing a spacial experiment."

The Fleet holds back, unable to enter the now increasingly bright Saturn. They are unsure what to do next.


UNCOMPLETED