Episode 22

Star Trek: Phoenix-X

(Armond and his fiancée, Monique escape the Phoenix-X on a runabout to get married near a purple and pink nebula)
Monique(holds his hand): Isn't this romantic?
Armond: Yeah... us getting married, near a beautiful nebula, alone...
Daniel: And I get to marry you two for a very considerable fee! ...It's just too bad Q's don't need money. --Hey! Then why am I doing this?
(He drops the biblical padd. The witness enters the runabout bridge)
Daniel: Ah, the witness, Crewmen Doyle, is finally here. --Waitaminute, there is no Crewmen Doyle!
Doyle(reveals himself as X): I am X. Follower of the X that is now you.
Daniel: Cool!
X(reaches out his arm): I have just taken your easy access to your powers away from you.
Daniel: Not cool.
X: Until you can look inside yourself to the X, you will not be able to use them.
Daniel: Hey! I thought you were my follower!
X(fades away): Remember. It is not the power, but the purpose...
(The nebula outside the runabout sucks itself into oblivion)
Monique: Well that kinda kills the mood.
Armond(rubbing his eyes from X's pixie dust): He ruined our wedding!! It took months to plan this wedding! --and millenniums to create that nebula!
Daniel: Hey, what about me!? He took my powers away!
(Armond and Monique look over at him)
Armond: Oh, sorry. I guess you'll be enterprising vengeance upon the X now.
Daniel: ...Nah. I kinda see his point.
Armond: Well then at least avenge our ruined wedding!!
Monique: Yeah!
Daniel(looks at himself): It's not like he did it on purpose. Oh my gosh. I feel so demi-god now.
Armond: Argghhh. You must promise me vengeance. Think of it as a wedding gift.
Daniel: Alright, alright; if I ever see him again I'll kick his @$ for you.
(The runabout turns around and heads back to the Phoenix-X)

(Half a lightyear away, the Phoenix-X is attacked by an Alien Vessel. Two torpedo discharges from the Aliens puncture through the shields and hull of the Phoenix-X. The Phoenix-X shakes like crazy)
Gotens(holding on): We have to surrender!
Red: No! Klingons do not surrender!!
(The ship shakes like crazy again)
Red: Okay, I'll make this second exception. But only once!
Gotens(hails the alien vessel): We surrender!
(A tall scaly green serpent girl beams onto the bridge, in front of Gotens)
Kehlehmeh(the alien): Surrender is not your choice.
(The alien liquefies her arms and jabs them into Gotens's shoulders. More aliens beam onto the Phoenix-X)

(The runabout zooms over to the Phoenix-X, 4 hours later)
Daniel(sits up): I sense something is wrong...
Armond(looks out the window): Well, yeah, obviously. There's some ship tractor beaming the Phoenix-X.
Monique: The ship's been hijacked. We can't let them get us too!
Ensign Yelto: There are only four us. We could sneak aboard.
Daniel(nods): Alright. Mask the runabout.
(The runabout emits an ionic scattering field as it approaches the huge Phoenix-X)

(The four beam into the Jeffrey's tubes)
Armond: What now?
Daniel: Spread out to different areas of the ship and peek outside to see what's going on. Armond and Monique will spy Vector 2. Me and Yelto will spy Vector 1.
Armond: What about Vector 3?
Daniel: That's the forgotten Vector.
Yelto: But me an Ensign Dan share quarters there.
Daniel: Hense, why I've never seen you before.
Armond: We should meet back here in 4 hours.
(Daniel nods. The two teams start crawling thier serperate ways)

(Armond and Monique crawl the jeffery's tubes and find a control panel)
Armond(accesses it): Wanna play some computer games?
Monique: Armond!
Armond: Okay, okay. I'll see if I can find out what's going on. But we're ruining this opportunity.
(He accesses external communications. He gets a transmission, but only the incoming part of it)
*Shangrilah(on screen): Have you taken over the Federation Starship? .......... ..... ......... Good, good. The rest of the fleet is on its way. We will have this Federation taken over in a matter of days. ............. ......... ......... ............
(Armond and Monique glance at each other)
Monique: If only we could hear who's talking with him.
Armond(playing a computer game on the other screen): Oh sorry, I needed some computer memory.
*Shangrilah: I'm beaming aboard. I hope to be the one to catch whom ever came from that Runabout Class Federation vessel.

(On the bridge)
Gotens: Understood, Captian.
*Shangrilah: Shangrilah out.
(They salute, then the screen goes off)

(Armond and Monique kick the vent door out and step into their living quarters)
Monique(accesses the view screen): I'll contact the Federation.
Armond(goes to another panel): Right! I'll lock out the main computer.
Monique: Wait! I need the main computer to contact the Federation!
Armond: Oh! Good thinking. That's why you're the wife.
(She calls in and Admiral Theseus goes on screen)
*Theseus: This is Starbase 55; your one stop baggy pants shop!
(Armond and Monique just glance at eachother)
*Theseus: Oh, it's the Phoenix-X crew! --I gotta stop saying that as an opening....
Armond: Admiral, the ship is under occupation from an unknown alien species!
*Theseus: Damn! You got invaded?
Monique: Duh!
*Theseus: Do you still have the torpedoes?
Armond: The torpedoes? Yeah, I guess--
(The transmission starts to break up)
*Theseus: Use---th--m--!!!
(It cuts out. Armond taps away at the control panel)
Armond: The aliens are messing around with the main computer.
Monique: Lock it out!
Armond: I just did, with an encryption code. It is highly unlikely they will break it. The code is PHOENIX-X.
Monique: Oh, that's original!
Armond: Hey, do I look like freakin' Data here?
Monique: Come on, let's get to the Torpedo Bay.
(They crawl back through the Jeffrey's tubes)

(Daniel and Yelto spy from inside a vent in the conference room where three scaly green aliens are talking with some Federation Officers)
Shangrilah: So there are no more of your crew free?
Gotens: Nope. They're all occupied. Isn't that cool?
Shangrilah: No. I wanted to be one of the first people to occupy.
Gotens: Well you still can. Some free officer accessed the main computer on deck 17, just a second ago.
(Shangrialh nods to one of the other aliens to go ahead.)
Shangrilah: Thanks! --Uhhhh...
Gotens: It's me! Kehlehmeh!
Shangrilah: Oh right! Thanks Kehlehmeh. I didn't recognize you.
(He liquefies and goes through the floor)

(Armond and Monique kick out the vent door to the Torpedo Bay)
Monique(gets up and walks into the room): Oh my back is killing me. Can you rub it for me?
Armond(just getting out of the vent): I don't have to do nothin' 'til we get married!
(Shangrilah deliguefies from the ceiling and just hangs there above Monique)
Armond: It's Shangrilah!
(Shangrilah drops and splashes all over Monique. Armond tackles her, trying to save her, but the liquid sucks itself into Monique's body)
Monique(gets up): Hello, Armond...
Armond(gets up and steps back): What have you done to Monique?
Monique(laughs): Nothing that won't happen to you soon enough...
(Monique leaves the bay, pointing one of the other aliens to where Armond is.)
*Toguera(on the comm): Toguera to the ship. There should be three free Federation Officers still around. If you see them, report their location to me so I may merge.
(The alien steps in as the doors close behind him)
Armond(hiding a phaser behind his back): Who are you people?
Kelarou: Don't talk to me, body.
Armond: I'll reverse whatever it is your Captian has done to Monique.
Kelarou(laughs): Reverse? It is irreversible! We need your bodies for sustenance; when we leave them, they are dead!! Hahahaha!!
Armond(gulps): Gulp.
(Kelarou begins to liquify. Armond stuns him with the phaser. Kelarou falls to the floor)
Armond(punches a torpedo capsule in anger): Arrgh!!!! Monique is dead and so is everyone else on this ship.
(He punches it again)
Armond: I will have my revenge!!
(He opens his eyes, pulls his fist away and notices that the whole bay is filled with torpedo capsules labeled, Slipstream Torpedo)

(Toguera walks down the hall and sees Armond running out of the Torpedo Bay)
Toguera(starts running): Hey Kelarou, wait up!
(He stops just before the torpedo bay doors to see Kelarou inside still in alien form on the floor)
Toguera: ....Dead?

(Daniel crawls back through the jeffery's tubes to where everyone was supposed to meet, but he's the only one there)
Daniel: Oh great. My crew is so irresponsible! Now what?
(He hears a whispering voice)
*X: ....The force.... use the force....
Daniel: The who?
*X: ...Your Ki.... Use your Ki....
Daniel: My what?
*X: ...Stop the wanting... stop the hate...
Daniel: Huh?
*X(gets angry): Summon your power! Clear your head and try to communicate with the X within you!!!
Daniel: Oh, okay.
(He closes his eyes in meditation)

(Monique enters Main Engineering. A lot of people are working there)
Monique: Commander Kehlehmeh.
Gotens(turns around): Captian. We were just trying to boot up this stupid Transwarp Drive!
(He kicks it)
Monique: I know the encryption code to unlock the main computer.
Gotens: Excellent!
(Monique goes over to a control panel. Armond enters Engineering)
Gotens: Identify yourself.
Armond: It's me, Toguera.
Gotens: Oh hey, I didn't have a chance to talk with you. How're you and your brother doing?
Armond: ...Uhhh... fine, fine. He just bought a new Playstation 64.
Gotens(nods): Oh yeah, oh yeah. Those are so cool.
Armond: Everyone's been merged, now. You want me to contact the fleet and tell them to start the invasion of the Federation?
Gotens: No! Are you crazy? We have to colonize first!
Armond: ...Oh.... okaayyy....
Gotens(points to a screen): This Federation planet, Kina 4. It's the only empty one with our native atmosphere. After we put everyone assigned to this galaxy there, we can start the invasion. You remember the routine!
Armond: Oh, yeah, yeah. What was I thinking? Heh, heh. You might as well be talking to an unmerged host just pretending to be Toguera. Heh... heh...
Gotens(slaps his back): Ha! Ha! That would be funny, eh!
Armond(laughs with confidence): Yeah! Hahahahaa!!
Gotens: Okay, seriously. Get to the bridge and tell Lieutenant Borabora to take us to Kina 4.
(Armond nods. He eyes Monique as he leaves Engineering)

(Armond walks through the hallways, passing friends and co-workers, and not saying anything to them. Yelto catches up to him)
Yelto(whispering): Armond!
Armond: Ensign! You're still alive?
Yelto: Me and the Captian almost have this thing figured out. Everyone on the ship is possessed by these Boosti.
Armond: The Boosti, eh? Well the Boosti are about to get the booty.
Yelto(laughs): Hahahahahahaa!! --That wasn't funny at all.
Armond: I think I've figured out how to eliminate them....
(He shakes his head in anger)
Armond: They've taken the lives of everyone on this ship, including my fiancee. I will have vengeance.

(They enter the turbolift. The doors close. The turbolift goes up and Yelto steps up to Armond)
Yelto(with an evil look in her eyes): And what would you know about vengeance...?
Armond(looks at her): ...Who are you?
Yelto(grabs Armond by the neck): Toguera, you fool. You killed my brother in the Torpedo Bay!!
Armond(trying to push her away): Argh--He's--jus--stunned--!!
Yelto(squeezes her eyes): Liar!!!
(Armond kicks her away)
Yelto: Aarrrgghh!!!
(Yelto spins and kicks to Armond's head. Armond dodges. Yelto spins again, stabbing her foot right under Armond's chin. Armond is pushed against the wall)
Armond: Ackk!!
Yelto: You are no match for a trained guard.
Armond(phasers her): You're no match for a weapons specialist.

(The turbolift doors open and Armond steps onto the bridge)
Kayl: Identify yourself.
Armond: Toguera. ...Identify yourself.
Kayl: Jeymola.
Armond: I think we may have an unmerged Federation officer roaming the ship pretending to be a Boosti.
Kayl(nods): I'll check on it.
(She leaves the bridge. Red is the only other person on the bridge)
Red: Toguera, man! How you doin'?
Armond(goes over to his station): I'm in a bad mood. Don't talk to me!
Red(turns back to the helm): ...Man. He really hurt my feelings...
(The computer comes back online. Red engages the ship to Kina 4. Armond beams Daniel to the bridge)
Daniel(sitting and meditating): Huummmmm... Awwwww... Ehhhhhhh...
Armond: What are you doing?
Daniel: Trying to contact my inner X.
Red(turns around): What is the meaning of this!?
Armond(puts away his phaser): Shut up, Lieutenant Borabora!
(Red runs out of the bridge, crying. Armond accesses his station)
Armond: I'm putting ionic force fields all over the ship, to confine everyone.
Daniel: So who cares. I'm trying to do something here!
Armond(bends down to talk to Daniel): But I think I've figured out what happened. The Phoenix-X must've got word of the invasion just before we left to the nebula for the wedding ceremony. They must've started building the Slipstream Torpedoes right after we lef--
Daniel: Hummmmmmmmm... X? ...X? Is that you? I see a light... What? ...What? Walk towards the light?
Armond(stands up and scratches his head): Hmh. He must be dying.

(The Phoenix-X drops out of transwarp. The other two Boosti ships also drop out of transwarp. They approach the planet with a fleet of 43 other large Boosti ships parked beside it)
*Captain Smalsh(goes on screen): 'Sup! You finally here? We was about to start the colonization of the planet. We hafta breed more Boosti; the Federation has a lot more people than we thought.
*(He rubs his hands)
*Smalsh: Heh, heh. This is gonna be fun.
Armond: Not so fast, scaly green alien guy! I'm gonna hafta cut your breeding capabilities short.
*Smalsh(covers his private part): No, not mine!!
(Armond presses fire. The Phoenix-X discharges a Slipstream Torpedo towards the crowd of Boosti ships. The sparkly torpedo suddenly bursts into long cracks of lighting in space. The other Boosti ships move away from it)
Armond: That was just a warning shot. I demand your fleet leave our galaxy immediately, or I will destroy your fleet.
*Smalsh: Damn man. What's up your @$? Someone merge with your wife? Heh, heh! That'd be so funny!
(Armond gets angry)

(Toguera's brother, Kelarou wakes up in the Torpedo Bay. He passes through the force fields and makes his way to Main Engineering)
Gotens(touches the force field): Damn these bodies!!
Kugo(at a computer): Kelarou is the only other non-merged Boosti on the ship.
(The Phoenix-X shakes)
Gotens: Panehmah, see if you can contact Shangrilah's ship.
Shane(at another computer): I can't. These modified shields are blocking the transmission.
(The ship shakes again. Bulkheads and support beams fall)
Kugo: They're firing on us.
Kelarou(steps through the shields): Perhaps you all should unmerge.
Walace: Unmerge? You know how dangerous that is this early in the merge!
Monique(steps up to Kelarou): Get to the bridge and merge with Armond. Now!!
Kelarou(nods): Yes, Captain.

(The bridge is a mess. Armond's eye twitches as he watches Smalsh on the viewscreen)
*Smalsh: How is this possible? We had no idea you had a weapon of this magnitude.
Armond(holds his finger above the fire button): And I'm about to give you a better idea...
(He's about to press fire when Yelto tackles him from the side. They roll and fight)
Daniel(just sits there, meditating): ...I see a gate... a golden gate...
(Armond dodges a punch and knees her. She over takes him)
Yelto: You killed my brother!!
Armond(looks up): He's right there!
(Kelarou walks through the force field and enters the bridge)
Yelto(with a black eye): I won't fall for your tricks.
(She doesn't look up and continues to fight Armond. Kelarou suddenly begins to liquefy and shoot towards Armond, but bursts into bunch of pieces from a powerful shock wave from Daniel)
Daniel(standing there): I have done it.
(Armond throws Yelto away and crawls to his command station. He lifts his arms above it and eye's Smalsh)
Armond(twitching): You killed my wife... And everyone on this ship... This is where it ends.
(He's about to press fire)
Daniel: Stop! Are you really ready to commit mass murder!?! Look what vengeance has done to her!
(Armond looks over at Yelto, who's eye is also twitching)
Armond(glances back at Smalsh): Your people will not survive here.
(He taps the control panel and then presses fire, again and again and again and again)
Armond(yells with rage): Aaaaaaaahhhh!!!!

(The Phoenix-X rotates the other way, pumping out 8 to 12 Slipstream Torpedoes towards the planet. The planet shakes as the torpedoes tear into it. The Boosti ships move away but the Pheonix-X just sits there as the big, enormus, humongus, planet bursts into a billion large pieces. The pieces shoot by the Phoenix-X and out into space)
Armond(looks up at the viewscreen): Leave... now.
*Smalsh(gulps): Uhhhh, okay. Yeah, sure. Leavin'. Right away.

(The entire Boosti fleet turns around one by one and transwarps out of there. Shangrilah's ship also transwarps out, leaving the original, and empty, invading ship with the Phoenix-X. The two ships hover amung the planetary debris)
Armond(steps down and approaches the Captian): Can you do it? Can you unmerge the Boosti?
Daniel(nods): I think so.
(He places two fingers on his forehead and concentrates with his inner X)
Daniel: ....
(Each and everyone else on the ship is suddenly possessed by a bright white light. Some of the planetary debris around the Phoenix-X bursts into smaller pieces. The bright white light around every person fades. They find themselves alive and back to normal, sitting next to the Boosti who had merged with them)

(Gotens looks at Kehlehmeh, on the floor beside him)
Gotens: Man. What happened?
Kehlehmeh(gets up in anger): Argh!! How could this be possible!?
(She tries to liquefy but can't)
Kehlehmeh: I-- I don't understand--!! Am I to be one of those handicapped Boosti?? Nooooo!!!
(She looks around and sees everyone else unmerged)
Kehlehmeh: Noooooo!!!!!
(She looks around and sees a normal Federation officer waving Hello to her)
Kehlehmeh: Noooooo!!!!!

(Yelto gets up and looks over at Toguera)
Yelto: I'm sorry about your brother.
(Everyone on the ship gets back to thier duties. Monique enters the bridge; Armond and her embrace. Gotens shoves Kehlehmeh and Shangrilah onto the bridge)
Daniel: I have taken your easy access ability to liquefy away from you. To liquefy, you must look inside yourself to your inner X.
Shangrilah: But we don't have inner X's.
Daniel: --Oh. ...Then I'll just... stand over here for a while.
(Gotens contacts the Federation)
*Theseus(goes on screen): This is Starbase 55; your one stop Lingere supply shop!
Armond: I'm sorry, sir. We weren't able to destroy the Boosti fleet as planned.
*Theseus: I never ordered you to destroy the fleet. I ordered you to destroy the planet so they'd have no where to breed. You did exactly what we wanted.
Armond: Oh, yeah, yeah... That's what my plan was all along.
Kehlehmeh(steps away from the guard): Well, we'll just be going home now.
Gotens(grabs her): No you won't. We have laws.
Kehlehmeh: Grrr!!!!!!
Gotens(steps back): Okay go ahead.

(The Boosti beam back to thier ship and transwarp away. The Phoenix-X returns to normal and Armond and Monique decide to have thier wedding on the ship with everyone)
Yelto(approaches Ensign Dan): Isn't this romantic?
Ensign Dan: Maybe, if I wasn't relieved.

(The X follower appears in the crowd, next to Shane and the Commander)
X: The X has achieved the first step.
(Shane and Gotens glance at eachother)
Shane: The first step to what?
X(takes a deep breath): After the X merged with him, it sparked a great disturbance in the Q-Continum. Some of us revolted and begun the X-Continum. Do not tell your Captian, but he will one day have to take his place with us in the X-Continum.
Gotens: But why choose the letter X?
(X just looks at him and disappears)
Gotens: Personally, I'd go with the letter R.
(He turns to Shane)
Gotens: Should we tell him?
Shane: We better not, the X are powerful and could turn us into wierd animals --and plus, this could be the best for him.
Gotens(nods): Yeah, maybe it is.

(The bride and groom walk down the isle)
Armond(approaches the alter with Monique): Thanks for helping me out on the bridge, back there.
Daniel: Don't thank me, thank the X. He helped me find myself. And I'm glad you didn't lower youself to destroying the Boosti.
Armond: Thanks, Captain. Hey, uhh, aren't we trying to have a wedding here?
Daniel: Yes, of course. I hope I'm getting paid since I'm mortal now.
Armond: One more thing, don't worry about getting that revenge on the X for me.
(Daniel nods and starts the ceremony.)