Episode 5

Star Trek: Phoenix-X
Crash Bandicoots

(Pheonix-X log enteries...)
*Daniel: Captians log. After defeating the new Maquis groups we were sent to check out the status of the Tosk Hunters in the Gamma Quadrant. It turns out, they're too busy hunting Tosk.
Anyways, our Cardassian 'friend' was able to escape from our ship during the last epic battle.
Now our ship is having even more problems. It seems that our Warp drive 'friend' is starting to malfunction. We never really got our results after that test by our 'friend' Chief Engineer Kugo until today.

(On the Pheonix-X)
Daniel: Do you think we can go Transwarp and get to the nearest Federation outpost to get more 'friends' working on this?
Kugo: You mean... experts?
Daniel: Yes. 'Friend-experts'.
Kugo: I wouldn't recommend going more than Warp 3 right now. Anymore than that and we might have a total warpcore malfunction.
Night: Sounds bad.
Kugo: It is, we have evidence that the warpcore was meant to be sabatoged.
Night: The Klingon and Andorian?
Daniel: Sounds like it.
Night: Those bastards!
(Computer beeps)
Daniel: Report.
Red: The Enterprise and Defiant have left and the Xena is still here.
Daniel: Good. Keep me updated. Commander, you have the bridge. I'll be in my quarters regenerating for an hour.
Night: Ey' sir.
Red: Getting a hail from Captian Aeris.
Night: On screen.

*Aeris: We are ready to beam over our Engineers.
Night: You hailed the bridge just for that?
*Aeris: Well that, and I wanted to know if you'd like to have dinner. Catch up with old times?
Night: Sure, meet me at the transporter room, 1400?
*Aeris: No better time. See you 1400. Aeris out.

(In the Messhall)
Heelix: Here you go.
Kugo: Thanks.
Dawn: You're not interested at all with acient creatures and how they lived?
Kugo: Well it's not that. It's just they were not as smart as creatures these days. Actions weren't logical when going for prey. Some eastern-Earth Tiger's are known for using nightvision goggles for thier hunts nowadays.
Dawn: Well, have you ever heard of the Hirogens?
Kugo: No.
Dawn: It's an alien race. The Federation has never come in contact before. But they are hunters. They hunt for thier prey, very statistically. They recognize and understand thier preys next movements. They spend time to study thier prey before they hunt it... Come with me to this holosuite program I created. It's an action survival program. With creatures you've never seen in your life time...
Kugo: Well...okay.

(In Security)
Ensign Dan: His name is Dawn Relic. Human. An Engineer, he just beamed over from the Xena to work on the Warpcore. Five years ago, he overthrown the Umockian Empire just to prove to his mother that he wasn't a failure, and then he handed it back over saying...and I quote 'just kidding'. So he says in his report. This man is a physco, and I don't trust him.
Walace: According to your report...this man is going through rehabilitation on the Xena. For five years and there has been nothing wrong with him, no cracks, nothing. I think there's nothing to worry about.
Dan: But sir--
Walace: ...Why do you not trust him Ensign?
Dan: Well...he was my room mate in Starfleet Acadamey. During the night, he told me some pretty freaky stories about his childhood. He's also done some freaky things in the Academey just to prove insignificant points.
Walace: Like what?
Dan: Like fill a whole room with omaxtaly gas to see if there was a Klingon in disquise.
Walace: How could he tell that?
Dan: Klingon's won't turn purple when they breathe omaxtaly gas.
Walace: Heh, heh, heh...
Dan: With all due respect sir--
Walace: Okay, okay...I'll have the Xena send over his concillor.

(In Engineering)
(Dawn and Kugo enter)
Kugo: Ha! Hahaha! That was really swift when you intercepted the Sabertoothed Tiger during his leap for his prey.
Dawn: Heh, heh... I bet he knows now that he's my prey. That'll teach him not to hunt me.
Kugo: Gewdeque, report.
Gewdeque: Well we've been having problems with the antimatter, it's gathering in chunks. The warp fluid seems to be...hicuping.
Kugo: Hicuping?
(Panel flashes)
Maxy: Chief, we've got a problem.

(On the Bridge)
Armond: Augh...that was soooo relaxing. I'm glad to be back on the bridge.
Red: Didn't I say she was a good masusse?
Armond: Oh yeah.
*Kugo: Kugo to bridge. I need a priority one all stop immedieately!

(In Night's quarters)
Aeris: And when I walked into the room, everyone's skin was purple!
(They laugh)
Night: Heh, heh--
(The ship shakes)
Aeris: What's going on?
(Red alert goes up)
*Armond: Armond to Night, report to the bridge.

(On the way to the bridge)
Night: Computer, how long has the Captian been in gelatinan state?
*Computer: 46 minutes.
Night: Darn. I guess I'm gonna handle this.

(On bridge)
Night: Engineering, report.
*Kugo: The core is seems to be responding to an interconnection between the Transwarp.
Night: Well that couldn't have been a sabatoge from the Andorian and Klingon.
Aeris: Then it must be someone in Engineering.

(In Engineering)
Kugo: Something's, happening Commander. Sir, the core is flashing! It's turning an orange filament...--
(Dawn starts walking away)
Kugo: Dawn, where are you going?
Dawn: To show you a surprise.
Kugo: What? This is not the time!
*Night: Kugo--

(On the Bridge)
Red: Sir, I've lost control over the Helm. Someone is changing direction...bearing-in the direction of 24 72...
(The ship shakes and everyone falls to the floor)
(Red climbs to the control panel)
Red: We--are going Ultra-Transwarp. Maximum.
(The Pheonix-X speeds through temporary conduits)

(In the Alpha Quadrant)
(On Starbase 55)
Admiral Cloud: What do you mean, 'they're gone'??
Captian Cid: Well, Deep Space 9 reports that the other Federation outposts in the Gamma Quadrant have lost sensors of them.

(On the Pheonix-X)
(Everyone is lying on the floor)
Daniel: Commander, wake up.
(Night gets up)
Night: Wha--?...ugh...
Daniel: We've crash landed on a planet. Unknown. But all I can see is forest, everywhere.
Night: On....a planet? What are the odds?
Armond: I don't believe we got here by accident.
Daniel: Armond, I want a full sensor sweep. Find the other two bottom halves of the ship.
Night: Huh?
Daniel: Someone activated the Multi-Vector mode. They controlled one vector manualy. The other must've just crashed elsewhere.

(In the Conference room)
Armond: Now there's about 100 people on our Vector presently. We cannot communicate with any other vectors. External sensors show the other vector to be located here.
(Armond points to the map on the screen)
Armond: About fifteen kilometers. Aaaannd the second vector is located here, about ten kilometers. This one seems to be beside some kind of compound a building.
Night: If we could get the other vectors operational, do you think we can lift off out of here?
Armond: We are not sure of that yet. Chief Kugo seems to be missing. She must be on one of the other vectors.
Gewdeque: We need her Captian. She has most of the encryption codes we need, and she knows more of the system than any of us.
Maxy: We can't lift off without even the impulse engines.
Daniel: Then so be it. Commander. I want you to take a party of 7 and hike your way to the first vector, about 15 kilometers.
Night: Ey' sir.
Daniel: I will command a second party of 10 and go to the second vector about 10 kilometers and also check out the compound. Captian Aeris, and Lieutenant Commander Armond, I would like you both to keep check on both parties and try to get the rest of this part of the ship in order.
Armond: Yes sir.
Aeris: Okay.

(On the second vector)
Dawn: Are you okay Kugo?
Kugo: Fine.
(Kugo punches Dawn in the face)
Kugo: Traitor!
Dawn: Ugh... I thought you Vulcan's weren't supposed to relese anger like that...owe.
Kugo: I trusted you.
Dawn: And I brought you to this place to proove to you that creatures do have a smart way of thnking.
Kugo: What?
Dawn: See that compund over there?
(Kugo looks out the window)
Dawn: Professor Gast lives there. He's my mentor. He owns this planet.
Kugo: Where are we?
Dawn: Here, the Professor has bred the most extinct and hardest to find creatures from all over the Alpha Quadrant! It is amazing! ...Even your Vulcan legendary Adamantaimai...
Kugo: That creature is big, and dangerous.
Dawn: Well most of them are. Not just the Adamantaimai. We've filled the planet with mixtures of creatures and they are flourishing!
Kugo: Wait a minute. Are you saying....that this planet is infested with dangerous animals?
Dawn: ...Precisely...

(Outside the main vector ship)
Night: Beta team ready.
Daniel: Alpha team ready.
*Aeris: Okay, we're ready here. Go ahead.
Night: I'll see you when we get the ship back together I guess.
Daniel: Righto. It should only take us a couple hours to reach the vectors.
(They head off in different directions with thier teams)

(With the Beta group)
Night: Shh! Did you hear that?
Kayl: What?
BOB: I heard it.
Kayl: Well that's because you have ears that would scare whatever it is that you hear.
(Suddenly a creature jumps out of the bushes and attacks an officer)
BOB: It's a Tarak!
(BOB phasers the Tarak and it falls to the ground)
(Night checks on the officer down)
Night: He's dead...What is that thing?
BOB: It's a Tarak. A creature found on Feranganor.
Night: We must keep going.

(With the Alpha team)
Ensign Dan: Are we there yet?
Daniel: You're relieved.
Ensign Dan: Are we there yet?
Daniel: You're relieved.
Ensign Dan: Are we there yet?
Jawmock: Look out!!
(An Adamantaimai slowly approaches)
Adamantaimai: Mooowaaaaa!!!
Daniel: Ugh. Phaser him.
(Everyone runs away)
Daniel: Cowards.
(The Adamantaimai lifts its paw and smacks Daniel into a tree and continues walking)
Daniel: Ohh, wise guy eh?
(Daniel shapeshifts into a female Adamantaimai)(The other Adamantaimai turns around and looks at her)
(The female Adamantaimai leads the male Adamantaimai away)(Later they arrive at a cave)
The female Adamantaimai: Oooo...
The male Adamantaimai: Oooo?
(The female Adamantaimai signals to the male Adamantaimai to wait in there while the female Adamantaimai gets a surprise for him)
The female Adamantaimai: Arr-arr.
(The female Adamantaimai walks out of the cave and then leans against the outside wall)(The female Adamantaimai head butts the wall and causes a cave in)(The male Adamantaimai is now stuck in there)
The female Adamantaimai: Ra-hee-hee-hee-arrr...
(The female Adamantaimai shapeshifts back to the Captian)
Daniel: Well that's that. I am never turning into one of those again.

(With Beta team)
BOB: What was that?
Mark: Thunder storm?
Kayl: Look at the sky, you don't get days more sunnier than this on Earth.
Mark: That's it. We could run into an Earth creature any minute now.
Kayl: I wonder what it would be...
Night: You and Mark are the only Humans here. If something does come by, we need someone to identify it.
(Suddenly there's a huge roar)
Kayl: It's a Tyranasaurus Rex...
Night: Really? You can tell that by the sound it makes?
Kayl: No...I can see it right there...
(The T-Rex breaks through the trees and in front of the group)
(Everyone starts running)(The Rex bends and picks up one of the officers and eats him)
Kayl: AAaaaaaaahhhhh!!!
(Everyone runs around like crazy)
Night: Guys... team... where are you?
(Everyone is gone. The Rex starts walking towards the Commander)
The T-Rex: OOOOoooooooaaaaaaaaaaarrr!!!!!!!!!!!!
Night: ...You've messed with the wrong Trill.
(Night stuns the Rex. And the Rex falls to the ground)

(Later on the Main Vector of the ship)
Aeris: Okay Armond, how are we doing on the power?
Armond: Communications are still operative, but there is something jamming it. Probably if you'd stop yapping your mouth and help me, we'd get somewhere. But no. You have to try to be like a Captain and boss everyone around.
Aeris: I am a Captain.
Armond: But not the Captain of this ship. When the Captain and Commander is off, I am in charge. Now you get down to Jeffrey's tube 8 with this Tri-Corder and work on the thrusters. Understood?
Aeris: Yes M'am!
Armond: It's sir. Get it right.
(Aeris goes to the tube and works.)
Red: Weren't you a little hard on her?
Armond: She needed it. She is so bossy. And she is not the one in charge. Can you believe the nerve she has?
Red: Yes I can. I'm a Klingon. If you talked to me like that on Klinzai, I would cut your head off.
Armond: Uhhhh......okay.

(On the second Vector)
Kugo: It appears we are the only one on this vector.
Dawn: We must go, the proffesor is waiting.
Kugo: He can wait. I want some answers. Like why are we the only ones on this vector?
Dawn: Okay. I can explain this. Just before we went into Ultra-Transwarp, I beamed everyone on this vector to the other vectors. At that same time, I activated the Multi-Vector mode from the engineering room.
Kugo: But why?
Dawn: The proffesor will answer that question in due time. We must go.
Kugo: This is so illogical.
(The two leave the vector and trek to the compound.)

(On the third Vector)
Heelix: Okay all. Listen to me. I need everyone in groups. Find a buddy.
Felix: Hey Heelix, wanna be partners?
Heelix: Sure, I guess.
Meelix: No!! I want to be your partner Heelix.
Heelix: Oh gosh. Maybe this was a bad idea. Uhhh... You can pair up with the Doctor.
Doctor: Oh great. I'm stuck with the -eelix group. You guys make me want to Peelix.
Peelix: Did someone call my name?
Heelix: How corny Doctor. Buck Up. Okay Felix, we are to go to the control conduit that controls this vector. This chef can do more than you think.
Felix: The ship can be controlled by voice.
Heelix: Oh. Well. Just for the fun of it, let's go.
Felix: Okay.
Heelix: Okay, Doctor and Meelix, go and tend to the others. Be the moral support. And have the Security teams arm themselves. We don't know where or what is out there. The only thing I know is that we are not in space anymore.
Doctor: You know, you are more take-charge than what I thought you were.
Heelix: Well, I am the one left in charge if there are no Senior officers on the ship.
Doctor: I guess.
(Heelix and Felix go to the control conduit.)
Heelix: Computer, state our location.
*Computer: We are still in the Gamma Quadrant, on a M-class planet. The planet is uncharted by the Federation.
Heelix: Is the ship together?
*Computer: Negative.
Heelix: Where are the other vectors?
*Computer: Vector one is 20 kilometers away and the first vector is 15 kilometers.
Heelix: Computer, please open a channel to Vector one.
*Computer: Communication systems cannot be put through. There is interference.
Heelix: Darn. What other systems can we use?
*Computer: All systems except for outside communication.
Heelix: Looks like we weren't damaged at all from the crash. Computer, on the engines, and lift us off to a hovering height of 500 meters.
(Then engines begin to power up. The whole ship shakes. Then the shaking stops. There is a slight increase in gravity. The ships rises out of the bush and into the sky.)

(With Night's group)
BOB: Wait! I heard something.
Night: Not again. Another monster?
BOB: No, it's some sort of machinery. Like engines powering up.
Kayl: Look! It's the third vector.
(Everyone starts waving their hands.)
Night: Oh stop that. It's not like that thing has windows that they pilot out of. In other words, they can't see you.
Everyone: Awww.
Night: But if we fire a phazer on them with a low setting, then that will probably get their attention. Ensign, put your phazer on a low setting and fire a little off the ship. The computer should pick it up on its sensors.
(Ensign shoots past the ship.)
Night: Good job.

(On the third Vector)
*Computer: The vector has detected a phazer with a Starfleet signature firing off the port.
Heelix: Uh! Locate and return fire.
(The returned fire hits a branch on a tree and the branch falls on the Ensign.)

(With the Beta group)
Ensign: Owe!

(On the third Vector)
*Computer: The target has been eradicated.
Heelix: Wait! Computer, did you say that the firing was of Starfleet?
*Computer: Affirmative.
Heelix: Oops. It must of been the others. Computer identify the individuals on the planet.
*Computer: They are of Starfleet.
Heelix: Beam them up please.
(The third Vector beams the people on board. Once on board, they go to the control conduit.)
Heelix: Sorry for that Ensign.
Doctor: If you would stay still, probably I can treat you.
Ensign: Just wait till I get my hands on you.
Night: Ensign, control yourself.
Ensign: Yes sir.
Night: Nice to see you Heelix. Good work. I trust that there are no casualties.
Heelix: Nope. Everything is tip top.
Night: I'll take over from here now.
Heelix: Okay sir.

(With the Alpha party)
(The Captains party ran away back to the first Vector)
Daniel: Hello!?!?! Anyone out there? Where's my men? ...Captain to anyone. Anyone please respond... I wish Lieutenant Anyone would respond. I guess they all went back to the ship. Oh! They can't shapeshift.
(The Captain ventures off towards the second vector. Later, he turns into a bird and flies overhead to get an arial view. He locates the second vector and heads toward it. He gets to it and lands beside it. He then changes back to the Captain as his Vulcan form. He uses his Tri-corder to run scans on the ship. The scans show that the ship is okay. He then beams himself into it with the Tri-corder.)

Daniel: Computer, locate Kugo and Dawn.
*Computer: They are no longer on the ship.
Daniel: Computer, run a long range scan of the area and locate Kugo and Dawn.
*Computer: Scans complete. Scans show that they are heading towards a building structure.
Daniel: Why?
*Computer: Answer not available.
Daniel: I was just asking myself.
*Computer: Oh.
Daniel: You weren't supposed to say that.
*Computer: Oh.
Daniel: Can you open a channel to the other Vectors?
*Computer: Affirmative.
Daniel: Please go ahead.
*Computer: Channel is being jammed. Unable to communicate.
Daniel: Same thing happened with my communicator. Computer, once I beam off the ship, go back to the first vector and await for further orders from the Federation personal. Relay them my coordinates. They will come for me. Computer, beam me to Kugo's coordinates.

(The Captain is beamed to their coordinates)
Kugo: Captain!
Daniel: That's right. You guys have some explaining to do.
Dawn: Captain, I can explain.
Daniel: You're darn tooten you will. Let's go.
Dawn: No!
Daniel: What do you mean no?
Dawn: I mean that we still have to go to the compound.
Daniel: What? After all that we have been through, you still want to explore.
Dawn: No, we're not exploring. We are going to see someone.
Daniel: See who?
Dawn: The Proffessor.
Daniel: Who's the Proffessor?
Dawn: He is the one that created what is on this planet. All the extinct creatures. And all the rare creatures facing extinction. Some coming as far as the outreaches of the Delta Quadrant.
Daniel: So us being here wasn't sabotage from that traitor. It was you.
Dawn: Sorry if I caused you distrought.
Daniel: Being my mind in Vulcan form, I will not get angry. But I will give you the Vulcan grip for your transgression.
Dawn: Ahhh.
Gast: Stop this at once!
(Gast steps out from the compound with a Vorta wolf. The Captain stops his grip. But Dawn is still in pain.)
Daniel: I am Captain Daniel from the starship Pheonix-X. If you are responsible as much as he is, then you are in real trouble.
Kugo: Yeah.
(The wolf barks at Kugo)
Gast: One false move, and I will release my wolf.
(The Captain changes into a Vorta Cat and sneers at the wolf. The wolf grows fearful and runs away with his tail between his ears.)
Daniel: What were you saying?
(Gast pulls out a phazer rifle and points it at Kugo and the Captain. Dawn is feeling better and walks toward Gast.)
Gast: That's a good boy. You see Captain, I am only after one thing to add to my collection. It's you. You are the only publicized Changeling from the Great Link. That makes you rare. And rare is what I have. And I want you.
Daniel: Sorry, I am not like that.
Gast: Not like that. Now tell me, how can I get this starship out of this Titanium bottle?
(Gast pulls out a bottle with a ship inside of it.)
Daniel: Don't take me like a fool. Only Genies fall for that.
Gast: Darn. I guess the only way to get you to come along peacefully is to get the situation a little hotter. Meet my Dragon.
Daniel: According to history, Dragons never existed.
Gast: They do now.
(The Dragon attacks Kugo and the Captain. Kugo Phazers it, but only puts a hole in it.)
Gast: I don't think so. Using that phazer is cheating.
(Gast Phazers the phazer out of Kugo's hand. The Dragon knocks Kugo unconscious. Captain is still up.)
Daniel: Oh gosh. I hate heat.
(The Captain changes into a bird and flies to the dragon's head. He claws it with its claws. Then he turns into an anvil and falls on top of its head. He then turns into a mosquitoe and starts biting it.)
(The Dragon is hurt. But not down. The battle rages on.)
(The Captain gets slapped by the dragon. He now turns into a serpent and bites the dragon. The dragon is so large that there is no effect. The dragon stirs up his fire and shoots the Captain. The Captain is imperveus to the fire but gets weakened. That Captain loses its abilithy to shape. The Dragon keeps
shooting fire at the Captain. Five more seconds and the Captain will die.)
(The Dragon is hit with a Photon Torpedoe and gets vaporized out of the blue. Everyone looks over to see what destroyed the viscious creature and they see the Pheonix-X altogether.)
Dawn: It can't be. I seperated the vectors into the tuffest part of the planet. There is no way the other vectors could of survived.
Gast: Well, it looks like they didn't, did it?
(Gast and Dawn retreat into the woods)

(On the Pheonix-X)
Night: Oh no you don't. Kayl, beam those prisoners in the brig. We are going to have some fun with them. Destroy that compound, too.
(The Pheonix-X beams the prisoners in and destroys the compound with a torpedoe. The communications then come online.)
Daniel: Captain to the Pheonix-X. Beam us up. We have a injured man, so beam him up to sickbay. I'll be all right.
(Pheonix-X beams the two aboard. The Captain then goes to the bridge.)
Night: I didn't think you would of made it. But again, you made it on that Flortarios planet.
Daniel: I've got a million years left. Helm, set a course for home. Transwarp 1.
Armond: Captain, we are still in the Gamma Quadrant.
Daniel: What?
Night: Logs say that we traveled Ultra-Transwarp.
Daniel: Well, head for the worm hole. Ultra-Transwarp 0.5 GPM
Armond: Yes sir.
(The ship heads for home.)

(Later, in the Brig)
Gast: You idiot.
Dawn: Sorry.
Gast: All my work, down the drain. I was hoping that they would make a holomovie out of that planet. A movie about extinct animals. The name would probably be called Xenophile Park.