"Deep Space Not So Much"
(On the Phoenix-X)
Gotens: Captain, we are getting ready to dock at Deep Space 9.
Daniel: Okay, do what you have to do.
Gotens: I guess. After all, you do trust me.
Daniel: Uhh, nevermind. Let me drive this time. You might hit the station.
Gotens: I want to do it.
Daniel: No, I will.
Gotens: I really want to do it.
Daniel: I said no and that's an order.
Gotens: Fine then!
(Commander Night Gotens presses a bunch of buttons and accidentally fires a photon torpedo at Deep Space 9. It knocks the station into the wormhole.)
Gotens: Oops! I mean, that was your fault.
Daniel: Uh!
BOB: Uh, oh. It seems that the station was testing out the little trick we did when we were on the Phoenix. You know, with the diverting phaser energy to shields?
Ensign Dan: Oh yeah. Didn't the phaser fire from the enemy get knocked back and blow up their own ships?
Daniel: WHAT!?
Gotens: Don't worry, Mon Capitane. It was a torpedo, not a phaser. It won't come back. They do explode on impact.
Daniel: Whew! That was close.
Gotens: Yeah, it's okay. I'm always right in my speculations. That's why you trust me.
Daniel: Full thrusters, get us outta here!!
(The ship relocates and the torpedo misses them)
BOB: Looks like the wormhole was also experiencing multi-fluxuial disturbances.
Daniel: Huh?
BOB: Uh, it was expanding and retracting.
Gotens: Why?
BOB: We don't know.
Daniel: I wouldn't expect it from a Ferengi.
BOB: Oh, and I guess a Changeling wouldn't do an Irish jig like the one you did in the Messhall last week?
Daniel: If you were Starfleet I would relieve you of duty. Get off my Bridge.
Gotens: Captain, the Xena is here.
Daniel: What are they doing? Following us?
(The Xena goes on screen)
>Aeris: Captain.
Daniel: Captain.
>Aeris: Where's Deep Space 9!?!
Daniel: Uhh, it was gone when we got here.
>Aeris: Oh. Well, I request that you beam over here so we can figure out how to deal with this problem.
Daniel: Me, beam over there? Why don't you come over here?
>Aeris: That's not important! We have to figure out what happened to the station!
Daniel: Alright, fine. We're on our way.
>Aeris: Aeris out.
(Screen clicks off)
Daniel: If Starfleet ever found out that it was you who fired the missiles, I would be relieved of command.
Gotens: It was your fault, though.
(Daniel and Gotens start fighting)
(On Deep Space 9, inside the Bajoran wormhole)
Worf: Gravity nets holding.
Nog: Well, what now?
Dax: It looks like we're still moving. Very slowly, though.
Sisko: How long until we reach the end of the wormhole?
Dax: 15 minutes. Considering the wormhole is expanded. That's how it was when we entered. If it weren't for these wormhole glitches, DS9 would be destroyed.
Nog: And when we crash into the border... it will be the end of Deep Space 9.
(Dun-dun-dun!)
(Phoenix-X log entries)
*Daniel: Captain's log. I've relieved Ensign Dan of duty for the 6th time this hour and I still seem to see him on the bridge. The Ferengi, BOB, who is here with us to provide Dominion information is really starting to get on my nerves. It seems all my crew members are annoying. I need to recruit. Meanwhile, I've been wasting time with this log, Deep Space 9 has been headed for its doom inside the wormhole. Captain Aeris and I have come up with an idea to tractor-beam the station. Using both ships to tractor beam will not be enough to bring DS9 back, but it will be enough to stop it from moving. We will pursue this next time the hole opens. Glitchedly expanded or not, the tractor beams will fit through the hole.
(On the Phoenix-X)
Armond: Sensors are picking up a Jem'Hadar attack ship.
Daniel: Wha—?
Armond: Life support systems are down, there is no life on it. It is fully capable of running.
Daniel: No time for that.
Gotens: Tractor beam ready?
Kugo: Ready sir.
Gotens: Shoot, now.
(The wormhole opens and the Phoenix-X and Xena fire tractor beams)
Kugo: We've got the station.
(Beat)
Kugo: The station is now at a halt.
Daniel: Good. Lower tractor beam.
Gotens: We should be able to use the tractor beam again in half an hour.
BOB: Jem'Hadar vessels have great tractor beams. They're very strong.
Daniel: That's great, "loaby".
Ensign Dan: If we use the Jem'Hadar ship for a third tractor beam, then we might be able to bring them back.
Daniel: Shh!! You're relieved! I'm trying to think. If we use the Jem'Hadar ship for a third tractor beam, then we might be able to bring them back.
Gotens: Excellent idea, Captain.
Ensign Dan: Considering the wormhole is in its glitched form when we pull him out.
Daniel: Considering the wormhole is in its glitched form when we pull him out.
Gotens: We should be able to use the tractor beam again in half an hour.
BOB: Jem'Hadar vessels have great tractor beams. They're very strong.
Daniel: That's great, "loaby".
Ensign Dan: If we use the Jem'Hadar ship for a third tractor beam, then we might be able to bring them back.
Daniel: Shh!! You're relieved! I'm trying to think. If we use the Jem'Hadar ship for a third tractor beam, then we might be able to bring them back.
Gotens: Excellent idea, Captain.
Ensign Dan: Considering the wormhole is in its glitched form when we pull him out.
Daniel: Considering the wormhole is in its glitched form when we pull him out.
(Beat)
Daniel: You're relieved!
Armond: Captain Aeris is hailing us.
Gotens: On screen.
>Aeris: All that we could do is stop it. Captian Daniel, beam over later and we'll plan again. Aeris out.
(The screen clicks off)
Daniel: There is no way I'm going to that other ship again. What does she think? My ship is inferior to hers? And what kind of name is Xena? Sounds like an old ancient Earth name from an out of date TV show. I'll just say that our transporter is malfunctioning.
Gotens: What if Aeris uses her transporter to beam you out?
Daniel: Darn! We'll just send a signal disruption. That'll fix them.
(Later...)
>Aeris: Captain, we are ready for you to beam over.
Daniel: Oh, uh. our transporters are down.
>Aeris: Then we will beam you out, ourselves.
(She tries to beam them out)
>Aeris: Hmm. It's not working.
Daniel: It's not important. We can just talk over our communications channel.
>Aeris: Agreed. What is our plan?
Daniel: There is a Jem'Hadar attack ship a drift, likely left over from a Dominion battle. They are known for their strong tractor beams. We will use that one with ours and that should pull DS9 out.
>Aeris: Okay. That'll do. Excellent plan.
Daniel: We will start at once.
(On Deep Space 9)
Worf: I'm detecting some kind of probe just out in the field.
Sisko: What? On screen.
Dax: It has a Cardassian signature.
Garak: Ah, yes. I recognize it. It is used in Templos colonies to adjust a planet's gravitational pull. This one must be malfunctioning.
Sisko: Or malfunctioning on purpose.
Dax: Why else would it be in the wormhole?
Nog: We should destroy it. It's obviously the thing causing the wormhole's expanding and detractions.
Sisko: No. If we destroy it, the wormhole won't expand enough for us to escape. Worf, do you think we can control it?
Warf: I think so, sir.
Sisko: Good. Lock a tractor beam on it and see if you can program it to keep open our side of the wormhole.
Worf: Yes, Captain.
(Phoenix-X's away team beams onto the abandoned Jem'Hadar attack ship Hinxen-239)
Gotens: Find the bridge.
Ensign Dan: Do you think this is gonna really work?
Gotens: Of course. Trust me.
(On the Phoenix-X)
Daniel: Daniel to Night Gotens. How are things?
>Gotens: Fine, Captain. We're ready to engage.
Daniel: Are you the one who's going to operate the tractor beam?
>Gotens: Yeah.
Daniel: Oh, God. This is my most riskiest mission yet. Okay. Everyone, wait to engage on my mark. Mark!
>Gotens: I hope this works.
Daniel: It will. Trust me. ......Oh my gosh. What am I saying? I'm starting to sound like you.
>Gotens: Haha.
Daniel: Uggh! You are relieved, Ensign Dan. Ahhh. That felt good. How are we doing on the station, BOB?
BOB: The station is coming out.
>Aeris: It's working.
(On Deep Space 9)
Kira: The hole is holding.
(The station shakes roughly)
Sisko: Are we out!?
(On the Phoenix-X)
BOB: They're out, Captain. That's great.
Daniel: That's great.
BOB: I said that.
Daniel: I can say whatever I want.
(On Deep Space 9)
Sisko: Good. I want that probe. We can study it.
Worf: It seems as if the Phoenix-X has already taken the probe.
Sisko: What? Why?
>Daniel: Greetings. I hope everyone is okay.
Sisko: Why have you taken that probe? Starfleet intelligence would like to see it.
>Daniel: What probe?
Sisko: That probe right there, behind you on the viewscreen! The same one that held DS9 in the wormhole!
>Daniel: I don't see a probe. I don't know what you're talking about.
Sisko: But—
>Daniel: Well, it was great seeing you again. Phoenix-X out.
Sisko: Okay. I'm going to have a raktajino. This job is getting to me.
(On the Phoenix-X)
Daniel: Alright. Our first acquired secret technology. Take it to the tech room, boys.
(A couple officers take it away)
>Gotens: Hinxen-239 to Phoenix-X. I hope everything is under control.
Daniel: Everything should be. Okay, Gotens, you can release tractor beam.
>Gotens: Yes Captain. Ooops.
(The Hinxen-239 turns left and tractor beams Phoenix-X. Everyone falls)
Gotens: On screen.
>Aeris: All that we could do is stop it. Captian Daniel, beam over later and we'll plan again. Aeris out.
(The screen clicks off)
Daniel: There is no way I'm going to that other ship again. What does she think? My ship is inferior to hers? And what kind of name is Xena? Sounds like an old ancient Earth name from an out of date TV show. I'll just say that our transporter is malfunctioning.
Gotens: What if Aeris uses her transporter to beam you out?
Daniel: Darn! We'll just send a signal disruption. That'll fix them.
(Later...)
>Aeris: Captain, we are ready for you to beam over.
Daniel: Oh, uh. our transporters are down.
>Aeris: Then we will beam you out, ourselves.
(She tries to beam them out)
>Aeris: Hmm. It's not working.
Daniel: It's not important. We can just talk over our communications channel.
>Aeris: Agreed. What is our plan?
Daniel: There is a Jem'Hadar attack ship a drift, likely left over from a Dominion battle. They are known for their strong tractor beams. We will use that one with ours and that should pull DS9 out.
>Aeris: Okay. That'll do. Excellent plan.
Daniel: We will start at once.
(On Deep Space 9)
Worf: I'm detecting some kind of probe just out in the field.
Sisko: What? On screen.
Dax: It has a Cardassian signature.
Garak: Ah, yes. I recognize it. It is used in Templos colonies to adjust a planet's gravitational pull. This one must be malfunctioning.
Sisko: Or malfunctioning on purpose.
Dax: Why else would it be in the wormhole?
Nog: We should destroy it. It's obviously the thing causing the wormhole's expanding and detractions.
Sisko: No. If we destroy it, the wormhole won't expand enough for us to escape. Worf, do you think we can control it?
Warf: I think so, sir.
Sisko: Good. Lock a tractor beam on it and see if you can program it to keep open our side of the wormhole.
Worf: Yes, Captain.
(Phoenix-X's away team beams onto the abandoned Jem'Hadar attack ship Hinxen-239)
Gotens: Find the bridge.
Ensign Dan: Do you think this is gonna really work?
Gotens: Of course. Trust me.
(On the Phoenix-X)
Daniel: Daniel to Night Gotens. How are things?
>Gotens: Fine, Captain. We're ready to engage.
Daniel: Are you the one who's going to operate the tractor beam?
>Gotens: Yeah.
Daniel: Oh, God. This is my most riskiest mission yet. Okay. Everyone, wait to engage on my mark. Mark!
>Gotens: I hope this works.
Daniel: It will. Trust me. ......Oh my gosh. What am I saying? I'm starting to sound like you.
>Gotens: Haha.
Daniel: Uggh! You are relieved, Ensign Dan. Ahhh. That felt good. How are we doing on the station, BOB?
BOB: The station is coming out.
>Aeris: It's working.
(On Deep Space 9)
Kira: The hole is holding.
(The station shakes roughly)
Sisko: Are we out!?
(On the Phoenix-X)
BOB: They're out, Captain. That's great.
Daniel: That's great.
BOB: I said that.
Daniel: I can say whatever I want.
(On Deep Space 9)
Sisko: Good. I want that probe. We can study it.
Worf: It seems as if the Phoenix-X has already taken the probe.
Sisko: What? Why?
>Daniel: Greetings. I hope everyone is okay.
Sisko: Why have you taken that probe? Starfleet intelligence would like to see it.
>Daniel: What probe?
Sisko: That probe right there, behind you on the viewscreen! The same one that held DS9 in the wormhole!
>Daniel: I don't see a probe. I don't know what you're talking about.
Sisko: But—
>Daniel: Well, it was great seeing you again. Phoenix-X out.
Sisko: Okay. I'm going to have a raktajino. This job is getting to me.
(On the Phoenix-X)
Daniel: Alright. Our first acquired secret technology. Take it to the tech room, boys.
(A couple officers take it away)
>Gotens: Hinxen-239 to Phoenix-X. I hope everything is under control.
Daniel: Everything should be. Okay, Gotens, you can release tractor beam.
>Gotens: Yes Captain. Ooops.
(The Hinxen-239 turns left and tractor beams Phoenix-X. Everyone falls)
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