Star Trek: Phoenix-X
"For the World is Worldly and Such, Part III"The Prometheus-class U.S.S. Phoenix-X was being dragged via tractor beam by the giant Fabrini asteroid Yonada. Meanwhile, a seemingly unending source of smaller, self-moving asteroids emerged out of the asteroid field and started moving toward them.
"Sir! It looks like Yonada is transporting miniature warp cores into sections of those asteroids!" reported Kayl, who took temporary station at tactical.
Armond, sitting in the Captain's chair took notice. "They are? Aw, that's so cute."
"Now they are mysteriously uploading programs into each of them!" Red surveilled from the helm.
Armond nodded. "I stand by my cute observation, despite its rashness."
"The programs appear to be setting courses to many innocent worlds!" Doctor Lox said, as he just happened to be standing near a console.
Armond looked over at him. "Since when are you on the Bridge?"
"Probably better I'm here," Lox explained. "I spliced a live Kolar beast and a Dalvin hissing beetle together this morning and it's loose in Sickbay spraying it, not saying it."
---
Meanwhile, inside a green drink manufacturing room aboard Yonada, Commander Seifer and Kugo were being confronted by the Fabrini fanatic, Yelg, and his Tau Alpha C partner, Wayfar.
"I assisted Yelg in all the Federation starship reconstruction projects, from the Dropzone, to the Hijinx, to the Jenova, to the Crucial and Rune," Wayfar said, dreamily. "It was pure technological magic; from space-time altering repair crews to late night 3D chess matches. I'm relatively new at this Traveler thing and I wanted to work on both my tech abilities and my game. Helping Yelg was just an odd, un-asked-for by-product."
Yelg snapped. "Hey! I did a lot of the work too! Who do you think made the coffees in the morning? I did that."
"Wait. I thought those ships were just re-launched in new classes after they were destroyed in classic starship battles, last year?" Seifer questioned. "Oh, the starship battles we have, regularly."
Yelg pointed at him. "In fact, those ships were not destroyed, but, rather, close to destruction, and salvageable. We took those hulks from whatever odd class starship they were, before the battles, and transformed them into completely different, pre-existing classes-- The Dropzone became a Defiant-class, the Hijinx, an Akira-class, the Jenova, a Centaur-class, the Crucial, an Intrepid-class and the Rune, a highly voted-for Luna-class. We were so good that when Starfleet found the Ixion adrift, after some alien hijacking years before, perfectly in-tact, we transformed it into a Saber-class!"
"You monster! What a completely unnecessary series of refits which make no sense what-so-ever!" Seifer reacted.
The Fabrini rubbed his hands, delightfully. "Yes, it was the perfect way for me to develop my Engineering techniques. Now, I am using those abilities to turn more asteroids, like Yonada, into unsuspecting mini-ships!"
"Well, that's actually cute," Seifer corrected. "I can't see any issues with that."
Yelg pointed upwards. "I will use each asteroid's data storage module to maintain copies of the recently resurrected True Oracle, and force-transmit his wisdom, and our control device, directly into brains of the occupants of all worlds!"
"What? I thought you were finished talking?" Seifer asked, confused. "--Dammit, Yelg. What does your partner have to say about this?"
Wayfar was taken aback. "I was under the impression I was doing data recovery for your Klingon Opera collection? You're saying I brought back your Oracle??"
"It's both." Yelg turned to the Traveler. "They were both in there."
Wayfar snapped. "Forget it, Yelg! I continued helping you because I thought you were good, but I see now that you are forcing your computer-God onto others-- like some kind of popular search engine."
"From my perspective, that's good?" Yelg questioned.
Wayfar fumbled. "Yeah, but-- Ugh. I don't know. Do I look like a philosophical Traveler? Those guys never mate!" He then took out a smoke bomb and threw it to his own feet, disappearing into space and time in a puff of smoke.
---
Outside the giant asteroid Yonada, the tractored Phoenix-X began firing phasers and destroying the other small asteroids as they approached.
"There's too many! I can't keep up!" Kayl reported.
Armond looked at the explosions on the view screen. "I said spin the ship around. Spin!"
"Seifer to Phoenix-X," came the Commander's voice over communications. "We have to destroy all the mini-asteroids before they can force-spread their True Oracle god to the galaxy."
Armond nodded in agreement with each of the other crewmembers. "It's just a little difficult because there are so many."
"Did you do the spinny-thing?"
Armond breathed a sigh of disappointment. "We tried, but the tractor beam's still got us. It's Fabrini-powered, so it's not like those cheap Cardassian tractor beams."
"I'll disable it. In the meantime, we'll use Starfleet ship technology to take down Yelg's asteroid fleet; oh, the irony," Seifer said with a chuckle to himself. "Ironic that I'd be serving irony, isn't it?"
Armond squinted, confused. "It is if you're misusing that word."
---
When the tractor beam was disabled, the Prometheus-class Phoenix-X split into its multi-vector mode; the ship separated into three and began taking out more and more oncoming asteroids.
Meanwhile, in the green drink manufacturing room, aboard the Yonada, Seifer and Kugo held Yelg in custody.
"You Federation fools!" Yelg announced, quite annoyed, but then calmed down. "Well, it's a good thing I've streamlined our Instrument of Obedience installation techniques so that anyone I choose can be instantly implanted with one."
Seifer turned to him. "What in the name of Scotty's-Head-Smacking do you mean?"
To answer, Yelg took out a Fabrini padd and tapped it, quickly. "I can simul-replicate and transport Obedience devices into people's brains! Each asteroid is equipped with such transporters. --Hey, are you listening to me? I better not be wasting my breath here; Fabrini don't like extra talking."
Seifer and Kugo were suddenly stricken with extreme mental pain, causing both to fall to their knees in struggle.
On screen, the Phoenix-X's three separated sections began to visibly fly around, worse, due to the crew's similarly mental and control-incapacitation.
"UGGHH!! If only I--- hadn't been--- distracted with-- breaking locks---" the Vulcan grasped her head in agony, recalling how she equivalently forced the crew to look for Engineering parts.
Seifer clutched his head, but managed, "--We all--- go through--- a slump--- Can anything here be--- Jerry-rigged into a--- synaptic trans--mitter---?"
"--Yes," Kugo concluded after looking around and locking onto an open compartment. "---There's a method where-- I can-- simulate-- a neurogenic pulse---"
Yelg gaped his jaw in shock. "Impossible?? Those are the controls for my indoor bouncy castles??" He reached his arm out as Kugo slowly dragged herself over to the section. She accessed it and began working on the circuitry inside.
"What the Hell, man? Don't you think you should stop her??" the voice of the Oracle broke in, all around, as the final stage of his consciousness just came online.
But, Yelg, too focused on the possibility of his genius being thwartable, began to grasp his sweaty face and head in Matt Decker-shock as the Starfleet officer reverse engineered the effect of the Instrument of Obedience device. "Nnnnnnoooooooooeeeew--!!!" Yelg observed in terror as Kugo, Seifer, and, remotely, the crew of the Phoenix-X, stopped receiving pain, and regained self-control.
"Dammit, Yelg! You bring me back for this? You know you can move, right?? I didn't even get a chance to check my messages. I'll get you for your horribly abrupt inaction! And your little Caitians too!" the voice of Oracle threatened just seconds before Seifer deactivated his program.
---
Later, the Yonada was redirected back into orbit of Daran IV. With all the asteroids destroyed, the three sections of the Phoenix-X reassembled and Armond beamed Seifer and Kugo onto the Bridge.
"The Fabrini will charge Yelg for his crimes of believing in a religion and wanting to spread it," Seifer reported.
Red looked at him funny. "That sentence seems wrong? Something is wrong with your universal translator?"
"Ship damage, probably," Armond explained. "Anyway, the lesson here is, there is no shortcut to being a successful authoritarian. Though, it is possible and very rewarding, mind you."
Seifer turned to him. "Also, shooting asteroids is not as easy as one would expect; but living in them is completely reasonable."
"So, what are you going to do with your life now, Kugo?" Kayl asked, noticing she hadn't spoken to her all year.
The Vulcan snapped her fingers. "Thanks to Yelg, I'm going to Engineer everything I need ever-- as is the way of Starfleet officers, anyhow. We can turn rocks into replicators, you know."
"Here are the asteroid samples you asked for," Ensign Belm said, entering the Bridge with several useless rocks.
Kugo took them to use in her repairs. "Ah, the new primary warp coils! These'll do juuuust fine."
