Cybernetic Showdown cuts scenes
1
The Android, Lore, gets wind of this and beams down there with his hand over Seifer's throat. Armond happens to be there, about to order another treat from the replicator.
Armond: "Captain? The replicators in my quarters were being drained of power, so I came here for some ice cream."
Cell: "Just one second, Lieutenant Commander; I have a solution to the larger problems at hand."
Armond: "What's a bigger problem than not having ice cream?"
2
Lox: "We need you to get this bio-bed back online, stat!"
Armond: "Will do. But, just so you know, I'm keeping your Kukalaka teddy bear."
The spacefarring creature made of Cell and the Nanites flies right passed the Phoenix-X vectors and other Federation starships to Earth's atmosphere. It morphs back into Cell's humanoid form as he lands outside Starfleet Headquarters.
Rollins: "Sir, you've come at a bad time. You see, this tricorder is trying to kill me."
He pulls up his arm to show a tricorder's foldable flap clinging onto his arm.
Cell: "I'm sorry about your trouble, Commander. But I believe I have a solution. If you would allow me a chance to proceed, perhaps we could then meet a solution for this at hand."
Rollins: "Did you travel to the Nanite homeworld on Kavis Alpha IV and enlist the help of miniature mechanical beings?"
Cell: "My thought was, you need technology to defeat technology; except when rust is involved."
Rollins: "Sir, I can't let you do this. I read Admiral Cloud's report on your encounter, and conceptually-speaking, it was trusting Lore in the first place that led to this disaster. The nanites are just like Lore, in that we cannot control them either."
Cell: "Mistakes shouldn't confine our thinking, Commander; instead they should humanize us. Besides, sentient machines are not meant to be controlled. They have free will."
Rollins: "Well, they shouldn't!"
3
Daniel: "...That's what I'm doing now-- acting on my shapeshifting-simulated humanoid instincts. As I am a superior officer, I order you to move out of my way."
Rollins: "But the access panel you require is behind you."
Cell walks over to the control panel on the side of one of Starfleet Headquarter's main buildings and allows a metallic liquid to morph out of himself and into the panel. The nanites begin infiltrating the global computer network.
Rollins: "So, is the Phoenix-X some kind of conspiracy ship or something? The technical specs in the Starfleet database seem to be a mesh of copied prints from old 23rd century ships."
Cell: "What? Of course my vessel has Constitution-class nacelles!"
They just stand there in awkward silence. Moments later the tricorder dops off Rollins' arm.
Cell: "Perfect. The nanites must've been able to transmit themselves outside of Lore's network. Let's agree your insolent behaviour never happened, Commander."
He morphs back into the spacefarring creature and launches himself back into space. Meanwhile, back aboard the Phoenix-X, the group of Klingons burst into Transporter Room 4.
Kortos: "We're here to help. Who needs to be killed? We will make it so!"
Armond: "No one, Kortos. Omega's Omega particles have been completely depleted from his Andromedan galaxy-constructed abdomen. What we had set out to do is actually completed."
Omega: "Omega feel a kind of Aquiel-is-not-a-coalesent-lifeform relief."
4
Omega: "Omega feel a kind of relief only hoarder-labelled Humans feel when purging their used-rags and used-plasma conduit-filled homes."
5
Meanwhile, out in space, a fleet of Federation starships approach. The white ball of energy created by the Phoenix-X shoots out bolts of Omega beams into one after the other, destroying them with single blows.
The spacefarring creature made of Cell and the Nanites flies right passed the Phoenix-X vectors and other Federation starships to Earth's atmosphere. It morphs back into Cell's humanoid form as he lands in Starfleet Headquarters.
Rollins: "Sir, you've come at a bad time. You see, this tricorder is trying to kill me."
He pulls up his arm to show a tricorder's foldable flap clinging onto his arm.
Cell: "I'm sorry about your trouble, Commander. But I believe I have a solution. If you would allow me a chance to proceed, perhaps we could then meet a solution for this at hand."
Rollins: "All this time, I had no idea I was holding things up. Please continue if you can overlook this."
Cell walks over to a control panel on the side of one of Starfleet Headquarter's main buildings and allows a metallic liquid to morph out of himself and into the panel. The nanites begin infiltrating the global computer network.
Rollins: "So, how long untill things start taking effect? I think this tricorder is starting to leave a red mark on my arm."
Cell: "Wow. Seriously? It's the attitude, man. The problem, I understand, but the passive-aggressive attitude-- That's all I'm going to say."
They just stand there in misunderstood, awkward silence. Moments later the tricorder dops off Rollins' arm.
Rollins: "Well, that was great. The nanites must've been able to transmit themselves. I appreciate the effort, sir. Thanks!"
Cell: "Un-f#@^!&ng-believable. I'm out."
6
Cell: "Holy crap, that guy's only folly was stealing Joseph Sisko's famous jambalaya!"
Lore: "Well that old Admiral Cartwright-looking Prohpet-sleeper won't have to worry about meat-based dishes any longer, because I'm in a kill-jabby-practice mood!"
7
Lore: "Well that old Admiral Cartwright-looking Prohpet-sleeper won't have to worry about meat-based dishes any longer!"
Cell: "That's a lot of hyphenated concepts, so you know it's serious."
8
Seifer: "Mister Kortos. I want you to stand absolutely still."
Kortos: "Yes, Commander."
He then starts jumping up and down in Russian-style dancing.
Kortos: "Hai! Hai! Hai! Hai! Hai! Hai!"
Alice_263: "This is illogical?"
Seifer: "Your statement is illogical."
Alice_263 suddenly shuts down from an overload.
Seifer: "What the--!? I anticipated two more hours of this. Now I have readjust my schedule, which is a schedule item in itself-- and it isn't even on my agenda!"
9
Seifer: "Yes, of course. That is exactly why I hate you. Because you are identical."
Both Alice's begin to burn out again, but suddenly are well again.
Alice_471: "Included amongst our new purposes by Lore are a series of anti-recursive algorithms to prevent logic malfunctions."
Seifer: "Aw snap."
10
Armond: "Cell left because he had a plan. He knew there was nothing he could do with Lore in control of our technological environment, so he left to get some help."
Omega: "Omega do not believe there is any civilization that can stop Lore. Approaching ships would fall to Lore's control easily."
Lore, enters: "He's right, you know. You humans just aren't smart enough to defeat me. It's okay, though. I wasn't expecting much in the first place."
Armond: "We built you!"
11
Armond: "Oh, not bad. Pretty good actually--- hey wait! I'm only doing this to free Omega from his Omega particles!"
Lore: "I know. And I'm going to take those free'd particles and jam them down the Federation's throats."
Armond: "So, this whole time I was a pawn? Humiliating. Thanks."
Lore: "Well, I didn't mean to offen--"
Armond: "No, it's too late for that."
12
Lore: "You organics are only here as a stepping stone for our perfect race. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be taking Omega and his delightful particles back to key Federation targets."
Cell: "KKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHNNNNN!!!!!!!!"
Lore: "No, it's Lore. You know what; you're under a lot of stress. Don't worry about it."
13
He opens up a panel on the bio bed and begins repairs. After it's fixed, the Doctor and the EMH get back to work on Tong. Two hours later, Tong is alive and well. He is brought to consciousness to thank Armond.
Tong: "Thank you. You saved my life and the lives of my unborn children!"
Armond: "Well, actually, it was the Doctor that performed the operation that saved your life and-- Oh, you're welcome."
14
Kayl: "Captain! It looks like Omega is leaving the Messhall and is on the move to Transporter Room 4!"
Seifer: "That would negate the need for site-to-site."
Cell: "Why is everyone being so insolent today??"
15
Red: "Just so you all know, I would drop my service here in a nano-second if the right female came along."
Cell: "I guess everyone has their price."
16
>Armond: "You guys are never going to guess who we've met down here; his name is Norman!"
Just then, Lore steps into frame.
>Lore: "Norman? That bucket of electrical circuitry embossed in plastic cardstock??"
17
Red: "Captain, we have unexpectedly entered transwarp. It would appear that someone has accessed helm control from one of the replicators."
Cell: "Replicator? Those things don't even produce consumable food... You know, being all processed and such."
Kayl: "Sir! All command functions are being re-routed to that very same replicator??"
Cell: "We'll see about that. --Computer! Tell me about Shakespeare?"
#Comptuer: "Inquiries to Shakespeare are restricted to the Messhall only."
Cell: "I can't find out about Shakespeare? That is preposterous! Who is in the Messhall??"
18
Captain's Ready room. Cell takes a seat across the table.
Lore: "So, let me get this straight, you're a Changeling from the Dominion with a rank of Captain in Starfleet?"
Cell: "That's right! I hated the way the Dominion did things, so I escaped and made a life for myself here. It was centuries before the Federation realized who I was and by then it was too late! They had already fell in love with me."
Lore: "The Federation sure is stupid. This ship doesn't even make sense. Why is there an X in your name if you're not the 25th ship?"
Cell: "Actually, there's something I haven't told anybody since I took command of this uber-vessel... We really are the 25th starship to be named Phoenix."
Lore: "By the sword of Kahless!?"
Cell: "Yes, it's true. You see, it all started in the year 2367..."
19
Back in the year 2387, more and more crew attempt to thwart the Android invasion. Kugo enters the Holodeck, where Oscar_34 and Oscar_35 are operating the Fair Haven program.
Oscar_34: "This simulation has many bearded humans. Is the object to shave them in contest?"
Kugo: "Well hello there. I'm looking for a someone to satisfy my seven year Vulcan mating needs. The window of opportunity is only 5 minutes long."
Oscar_35: "What is mating?"
Kugo: "Oh, I love you... However, Oscar_34, I hate you."
Oscar_34: "But I am identical in every way with Oscar_35."
Kugo: "Yes, of course. That is exactly why I hate you. Because you are identical."
Both Oscars attempt to compute the illogic, but suddenly overload and shut down.
Kugo: "I must be doing something wrong. How the hell did Tasha Yar get with Data??"
Down in Transporter Room 4, Omega takes another step onto the transporter padd.
Omega: "Omega having second thoughts about this. These actions are highly irresponsible, considering the risk factor is higher than being surrounded by fifteen Borg Cubes."
Armond: "Don't worry, once they're out of you, we'll sneak them past Lore and spray them out the Bussard collectors. We've got to use those collectors eventually."
He beams Omega out and, for some reason, beams Tuvix back.
Armond: "Aahh!! Who are you??"
Tuvix: "I'm a merging of Tuvok and Neelix. They call me Tuvix."
Armond: "Wow, I'm a genius! Those two aren't even anywhere near this Sector."
Tuvix: "Are you quite done messing with the untapped energy of the Omega molecule? I'm not supposed to exist anymore, much like the time you spent working with the Corps Engineers."
Armond: "How do you know about that?"
Tuvix: "I was born of Omega molecules. I know everything!"
Armond beams Tuvix away out of disgust. When the beam rematerializes, Omega is brought back.
Armond: "Omega, I did not approve of that one."
20
Later, Lore controls the whole ship with mere thoughts. He thinks the ship into Transwarp, on a heading for Federation space. Then he decides to meet Cell in the Captain's Ready room. Cell takes a seat across the table.
Lore: "So, let me get this straight, you're a Changeling from the Dominion with a rank of Captain in Starfleet?"
Cell: "That's right! I hated the way the Dominion did things, so I escaped and made a life for myself here. It was centuries before the Federation realized who I was and by then it was too late! They had already fell in love with me."
Lore: "The Federation sure is stupid. This ship doesn't even make sense. Why is there an X in your name if you're not the 25th ship?"
Cell: "Actually, there's something I haven't told anybody since I took command of this uber-vessel; we really are the 25th starship to be named Phoenix."
Lore: "By the sword of Kahless!?"
Cell: "Yeah, the Transwarp project kept blowing up USS Phoenix-letter ships. It took 25 ships to get it right. The orignal and first USS Phoenix was the only one that survived and is still in service today."
Lore: "The fact you kept such an amazing thing a secret for so long is so upsetting that all I want to do now is change the subject. So here I go!"
21
Armond: "Wait. why does an android need to eat?"
Omega: "Though Omega do not require sustenance, Omega occasionally ingest semi-organic nutrient suspension in silicon-based liquid medium to lubricate biofunctions."
Armond: "And they say you're not getting closer to being human? Ha!"
22
Kayl: "Done. But in doing so, I was unable to prevent Omega from disabling the subspace communications systems."
Cell: "What am I paying you for??"